The Long Weekend
by i-heart-sparkly-things
Summary: With Charlie gone on a fishing trip all weekend, Bella goes to stay with the Cullens. But what will happen when they all get bored and need some entertainment. Emmet has a bust up with an old lady, Alice befriends a stuffed dog and Bella takes revenge.
1. Chapter 1

**_Disclaimer - _**O.k. So I don't own _Twilight_ or any of the characters. No matter how much I want to. They all belong to Stephanie Meyer. Oh yeah and I don't own Wall-Mart either.

**_Note : _**Bella is still human in this story :) :) Enjoy

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**The Long Weekend**

_BPOV_

It was one of those boring days. The ones that seem to drag on forever. It was early on Saturday morning and I was once again at the Cullen's house. Charlie had gone on one of his 'fishing weekends'. So I had asked if I could have a long sleepover with Alice. I had to say with Alice because if I told him the truth he probably would have said no.

"Oh hey Charlie. I was just wondering if I could go to the Cullen's house this weekend because I really want to spend all my spare time with my vampire boyfriend. And I will be sleeping in his arms like I do every single night even though you don't know about it. But don't worry, we won't be doing anything on the beds except sleep in them. Although if he offered ..." Yeah I wasn't going to take that chance.

But once again everyone was bored. Especially me. Esme and Carlisle had gone out hunting for the day. Emmet and Rosalie were upstairs. I could only imagine what they were doing. In fact. Ewwwww. I didn't want to think about it. Alice was on the computer checking e-mail, as she hadn't done in 'ages' meaning since this morning. Jasper was sat on the floor doing homework. I know that was how bored we were. Edward was sat on one of the leather couches with me in his lap. He was playing with my hair and staring blankly at the TV screen. I was trying to concentrate on the television but I kept getting distracted by the feel of Edward's cold hands brushing the back of my neck. Every time he touched me I could feel my heart speed up dangerously. I heard him chuckling to himself. I really don't think I would get better at this.

"I'm so bored", I moaned curling into Edward's chest. He just chuckled again and ran his fingers up and down my back. After what seemed like an eternity a happy looking Rosalie and a very happy looking Emmet walked through the door holding hands.

"Hey Emmet your T-shirts inside out" Jasper called from the carpet. Emmet shot a worried look at his T-shirt. Jasper started laughing and soon enough we all were. "What's funny? I have got it the right way. I know that for a fact because Rose dressed me and …"

"Whoa Emmet we don't want to know" Alice said from the computer desk in the corner of the room. And that sent another course of laughter round the room. Rosalie, however, looked slightly annoyed this time around. Maybe it was the boredom that made everyone so giddy. I don't know.

Then my stomach growled and everyone looked at me. I blushed and slid off Edward's knees onto the sofa. He looked at me confused. "Bella, honey, I thought you already ate breakfast?"

" I did." I blushed again. Then my musical stomach did an encore. "Fine then I didn't. Sorry Alice but your burnt toast wasn't really that appetising."

"Well first things first then. We need to feed the human. Properly." Edward looked at Alice.

"Well I did try my best. I can get you something else if you prefer?" She said as she gave me a sympathetic look.

"No thanks. I can feed myself. Edward ?" I turned my head to find myself staring into his beautiful topaz eyes again.

"What is it, my love" He asked me.

"Errrrrm." I couldn't remember what I was going to ask him. I broke our gaze and shook my head to try and clear the confusion. "Can we go to Wall-Mart? I wanted to get some jam. If tomorrow morning's breakfast is going to be like today's I want to be able to smother it in something. I can make myself something when we get back."

"No you can't. We'll get something on the way. I've just had an idea." Alice's eyes sparkled with excitement. "Everyone get your car keys. We're all going to Wall-Mart".

And I don't know why but the way she said that last part slightly scared me. Well I say slightly scared me, I guess I should have said totally freaked me out. But it beats sat watching TV. Doesn't it?

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**First Fanfiction so please review. Hope to post another chapter soon. :) :) Thanx **


	2. Chapter 2

_**Disclaimer -**_ I do not own _Twilight_ or any of the characters. Stephanie Meyer does. So until I steal the rights I own nothing. :(**_

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**_Chapter 2_**

**_BPOV _**

After a few more embarrassing growling sounds, my stomach was finally fed. We pulled into the dinner's parking lot. I sat in one of the booths while the rest of them sat in their cars listening to the radio. Everyone except Edward. He was sat by my side as ever. I always found it difficult to eat when he was sat next to me. I always felt like I would get a giant blob of ketchup down my top or I would end up snorting my milk into his face. Luckily, I had neither milk nor ketchup today. I was eating my pancakes whilst staring into space. Edward was equally quiet. I could tell he was watching me. That made it worse. Now I have to try not to end up choking on my breakfast or something equally humiliating. And then I had one of those really random outbursts. You know, when you remember something when it's too late to do anything about it. Well yeah, I did have one of those moments. "Oh no. God I'm stupid." I said to myself as I was frantically searching my pockets.

"What's wrong Bella.?" Edward was predictably worried.

" Oh nothing I just forgot my phone. It's still on the couch." I gave him a sheepish smile.

"Is that it ?" he looked relieved. "Well, I'll go back and get it then".

" Really? It's just that I was expecting Charlie to call. He said he might stay another day. Then we could have the whole house to ourselves." I declared. He just rolled his eyes and stood up.

" Bella, I'll be back in 5 minutes. Try to stay out of trouble for that long." He kissed my head then left.

But as soon as he was out of the door and as soon as I had managed to breathe again. Guess who came to talk to me? Mike Newton. I hadn't even seen him in here. Neither had Edward I guessed or he probably would not have left me. I pretended not to see him. Maybe he would get the message and go away.

"Hiya Bella." Or maybe not.

" Oh hi Mike." I did my best to sound like I didn't care. I didn't have to try hard because I knew what was coming next.

"So are you doing anything later on? I was going to go to the cinema with Jess but she dropped out. Said she was going shopping with Lauren I think." Then he stopped. I guess he was hoping that I would ask to go with him.

But instead I said, "Awwww. Never mind Mike. There's always tonight or tomorrow for you and Jess." I purposely said Jessica's name louder.

"Well actually, I was hoping you would like to go." And then he gave me that look that was meant to make me feel sorry for him and say yes but in fact it made me want to hit him with an abnormally large brick.

Why won't this guy give up? He knows I'm with Edward. Hell, everyone knows I'm with Edward. Why is he so persistent? I looked out of the window hoping that Edward would pull into the parking lot. No such look. However, Emmet and Alice were rolling round laughing. Jasper was also laughing, but not so hard. Rosalie however looked slightly unimpressed. Well at least someone was having fun.

" Sorry Mike but I'm going somewhere with Edward today. In fact, WE will be busy ALL weekend. Sorry" But this was not the end. Mike, king of the fools, never gave in that easily. I just hope Edward wouldn't be long. It has to be at least 5 minutes since he left. So I just sat there listening to Mike drone on. And on. And on. At last he went quiet. I raised my line of sight from my cold pancakes to the door. And sure enough my hero was stood in the door. Mike quickly retreated back to the counter where he was stood before.

I stood up and made my way over to Edward. But being me I couldn't just walk across the room without doing something stupid. I tripped. Again. I braced myself for the crash but instead I felt a pair of cold arms around me. And when I was pulled to my feet, Edward glared at Mike before he turned to kiss me. It was one of those kisses that took my breath away. Literally. Although all of his kisses take my breath away this one had to the best yet. Well, for today at least.

As I opened my eyes and tried to remember how to breathe correctly, I heard Edward snicker before we were heading towards the exit.

When we were driving down the road towards Wall-Mart I broke the silence in the car.

"That was some kissing you gave me back there. What did Mike think ?" I spoke trying not to smile.

"Oh he really wasn't happy" he replied. "You have no idea how jealous of me he is."

"Good. Why won't he just leave me alone? Does he really have no clue that I'm not interested?"

"He knows you're not interested all right, but he's hoping you will see your mistake and let him take you out" We both looked at each other then burst out laughing. It was obvious that nothing like that was ever going to happen.

Poor, delusional Mike.

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**Thanks for reading. Please review. More soon. :D**


	3. Chapter 3

**_Disclaimer -_** I do not own _Twilight _or any of the characters. Stephanie Meyer does. I do, however, own my own teeth which is more than can be said for my Grandad. :D lol

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BPOV

We finally arrived at Wall-Mart after what seemed like forever. Turns out that when you're stuck behind the world's slowest truck driver the time does not pass too quickly. And time passes even slower when your race-car-driver of a boyfriend is trying ever so hard to be patient and the only noise inside the car you can hear is the drumming of his fingers on the wheel.

Anyway, like I said. We did finally get to Wall-Mart. We pulled into a parking spot next to Rose's BMW. As soon as I opened the door I was practically pounced upon by Alice who was evidently getting bored waiting for us. "Oh my God. Edward could you have driven any slower. While we have been sat here for AGES, you have been crawling slowly the roads. Even Bella's truck could have got here faster than you." She stood facing Edward, who had come to stand next to me about halfway through her speech. I was about to protest about the truck comment. I'm sure it was meant as an insult. But Edward started to defend himself. He looked like he wanted to kill Alice but he kept his voice quiet and controlled.

"It wasn't my driving or my car that made us late it was …"

"Yeah, Yeah. Enough with the excuses. Lets go have some fun" Alice grabbed my hand and yanked me off towards the entrance.

So, once everyone was stood in a big group by the door Alice made another announcement. Well she seemed to be the only one who knew what we would be doing for the next few hours.

"Right everyone." She said in a hushed tone as everyone gathered around her. I was pulled to the front seen as I was the one with the worst hearing. "O.k. So today your mission, should you choose to accept it, is to cause as much chaos as possible. We will have an awards ceremony later tonight. There will be different categories in which you can win a prize. Most embarrassing, most unexpected reaction, most terrified victim etc. We will all vote this afternoon and we will ask Esme to count the votes up so it is fair. You can work separately or work as a team with other people. You have to make up tasks yourself and perform so that you can get the best reactions possible. You know the kind of things I mean like, getting that whipped cream stuff, spraying it all over your face then running around saying 'Look at me I've got rabies'. Stupid stuff like that that will guarantee to get you funny looks. Everyone get it ?" When she was sure everyone was clear she then added. " You have 5 minutes before I meet you all in the fruit aisle. Rose you're first. But I've seen what you're going to do and it's amazing." Alice confirmed with a stunning smile. Then she turned away from the group and danced off into the big store. The rest of us just stood there hoping for some inspiration.

Soon enough there was only me and Edward left. He hugged me from behind before he planted a cool kiss on my cheek. "So, Bella. Got any ideas?"

"Not a single one" I said as we started walking through the automatic doors.

But I would have to think of one quick. And 5 minutes wasn't a whole heap of time. On our way in, we walked past a rather frazzled looking mother with a little kid throwing a tantrum. "But I didn't want strawberry ice-cream, I wanted chocolate." The mother was looking rather ticked off. As if a screaming child wasn't enough, her phone was ringing in her pocket and she couldn't reach it because she was trying to juggle a million shopping bags and another little boy's hand. He must have been only about 5. I was thinking about how sorry I felt for her with such a troublesome child when it hit me. I stopped walking and froze. Then I did a weird squeaky thing, which I swore never to do again. And before I could forget it, I told Edward my idea.

"Great idea, Hun. That's what we'll do. But right now we need to go and meet the others. Good thinking." He said again as he kissed me on my forehead.

I was so excited now. I couldn't wait until it was our turn. This was going to be good.

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**Thank you so much to for reviewing the story so far. Keep 'em coming ;) More soon. **


	4. Chapter 4

**Disclaimer:** Sadly I do not own _twilight _or any of the characters. Stephanie Meyer does. I have my fingers crossed for my next birthday though :)_

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_BPOV_

We were nearly the last people to arrive at the agreed meeting place. Well, that was kind of my fault though. I had a really human moment and needed to go to the little girls room.

When we got there, Jasper and Alice were fussing over something that Alice was holding. I couldn't see it from where I was stood. I was about to ask what it was but then I spotted Rosalie pondering over some melons. I was confused. Since when do vampires need melons? They clearly weren't meant for eating. So why was she so carefully inspecting them? As if she were looking for a specific one. I don't get it. I tapped Edward on the shoulder. " Edward what on earth is your sister doing with those melons?"

"Bella, honey, I can assure you I have absolutely no idea what-so-ever." Then he lowered his voice and gave me a wink " But what's the fun of having mind reading powers if you can't use them?" Then he turned all of his attention to Rosalie. I guessed she already knew he was snooping because she smiled as Edward turned back to me with a horrified look on his face.

"Nice Rose. Real nice!" he shouted to her down the aisle.

"Hey Eddie, If you don't wanna know then don't look. You better think twice before you try to read my mind again." That made me turn around. Surely someone would have noticed that Edward had just been accused of mind reading? Surely someone would care. But clearly not. The Saturday shoppers were only concerned with one thing. Their own shopping. That made me feel better. But then I turned to Edward and saw his contorted face again. That made me giggle.

"Awww. Poor Eddie." That would be his new nickname for a while now! "Was it really that bad?"

He just turned to me and said 4 words. "Emmet. Rosalie. Last night." That made me laugh even more. I don't think he will be forgetting that in a hurry.

Alice glided towards us with Jasper close behind. " Hey Bella. Look what I've got." She then produced a small camcorder from her bag. "It's to record all the stuff we do today. I've seen some of the stuff and it's hilarious!" She trilled showing off her new gadget. " I just bought it then. Pretty cool huh. Oh the show's starting. Better record this."

I turned to face Rose who had now selected 2 of the largest watermelons I have ever seen in my entire life. I don't even know how but she managed to walk down the aisle to where a rather geeky looking guy stood. He had a uniform on so I guessed he worked at the store. He was about our age (well my age – I don't think he was 100 years old yet) and was stacking shelves. Rose walked up to him and said in her sweetest voice, "Excuse me sir, but could you help me for a moment?"

Needless to say, when he turned around he came face to face with Roses huge melons. He could barely take his eyes off of them. Rosalie kept that shy-girl smile fixed on her face.

"What … errrm … what can I do for you?" He asked pushing his glasses further up his nose, eyes still firmly fixed on the watermelons.

"Well I was wondering if you could give me your advice. You see …" Pause for dramatic effect whilst she shuffled the melons in her hands. " I was thinking about getting implants. I want them to be really big but I'm not sure if this size is, like, **too** big. What do you think?" She bit her lip coyly and looked expectantly at the shelf-stocker.

Stood at the opposite end of the aisle to them, the 4 of us trying so hard not to laugh as it would kind of give the game away. Alice was still secretively filming it all happening. I hope she got a good shot. I would never get tired of seeing this. Rose was still waiting for an answer. There was a lot of coughing and umming and errring but still no answer. You didn't need to be a mind reader to tell that he was looking for a way out. But no one could guess what happened next. From the other end of the store you could hear a loud crash. Then a louder "Oh Crap." Then a slightly quieter "Sorry." But that seemed to give him an idea.

"Ring ring. Ring ring. Excuse me for a second." He said as he pulled his silent mobile from his pocket. "Ring ring. Hello. Yes it's Eustace." Eustace. Eustace. Oh my god. Even Edward cracked at the name Eustace. " Clean up on aisle 13? Sure. I'll be right there." And with that he took off at high speed in the opposite direction to us. As soon as he disappeared round the corner the camera in Alice's hands was switched off and we were all doubled over laughing. Rosalie came over minus the fruit came over to us looking slightly confused. She was looking over our shoulders as if she were looking for someone.

" Hey, has anyone seen Emmet? He missed all the fun."

But speak of the devil and he shall appear. Emmet came running around the corner – at human pace of course – and came to an abrupt stop in front of us.

"Where the hell have you been?" Half joked Rosalie.

"Well. Honey. Baby doll. Sugar? It's a long story. But it really doesn't matter. Does it?" Emmet put on a ridiculous puppy dog face. It wasn't working. Then out of nowhere a little old lady came full throttle toward him. Everyone took 2 steps away from him then and watched what was about to happen. Out of the corner of my eye I saw Alice flick the camera on again. She knew what was to come. And apparently it was worth filming. When I turned back to Emmet he was being whacked over the head with the old ladies handbag. Well I think that's what she was trying to do. She wasn't quite tall enough. " Young hooligans. Ought to learn some respect. But I won. See." She triumphantly held up a can of tuna fish. Then left us and waddled away.

"I think this needs an explanation Emmet." Rose said in a no-nonsense tone.

And I have to say. I agree.

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**_I am soooo sorry that it's been a while since I last updated. But I have been unbelievably busy. Anyway, hoped you liked the chapter. Please leave comments :)_**


	5. Chapter 5

**Disclaimer : **I am sorry to say that I do not in fact own _twilight _or any of the characters. Stephanie Meyer does and for that reason alone I am willing to be her slave for life! :D

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_EmPOV_

"O.k. So I know it looks bad," I started out. Well of course it had looked bad. I had just been attacked both verbally and physically by an 80 year old woman. "But I can explain." That would be the hard part. I had to think of the right words here. So I started at the beginning.

I was walking round the store looking for some inspiration for my stunt. I had no idea of what I was going to do. I stopped on the 'canned foods' aisle and was examining a can of tuna. Fine then, I was not examining it, I was looking at the funny picture of a fish on the front. Anyway, I lifted my head to find an old lady staring at me. She was one of those old ladies that could make a care-bear to look vicious. "Can I help you?" I asked perfectly politely.

"I'm terribly sorry to bother you dear, but can you see any more tuna up there?" She replied with the same amount of courtesy.

"I can't see any more up here. Sorry. This is the last one." I said pointing to the can in my left hand.

"Well, I'm sorry to be rude but would you mind if I had it?" Still playing the sweet little granny. And I don't really know why but all of a sudden I became really protective of my small can of tuna fish.

"I'm afraid you can't have it. It's mine." I emphasized the word MINE.

"I don't care if it's yours, I want it. And I always get what I want." That's actually what she said. Word for word. Well, she kinda snarled it at me. I was taken aback by the fact that this sweet, gentle, polite lady I had just met a few moments ago had been eaten by this scary and angry monster.

"If you want it, then come and get it." I teased as I held the fish above my head. She must have really wanted that tuna because she actually took me on. She was bouncing up and down in front of me. For an OAP she was jumping quite high. But not high enough. And I found this quite funny. Well, you would too. It was freakin' hilarious. What I did not realise was that as I was laughing, the crazy lady went mad. She totally hulked out on me. She picked up a can and launched at me with impressive force. The can bounced off my head. I stopped laughing. Then I heard another 'clank' as a second tin hit the floor. This was clearly not going to be pretty. This was going to be war. But being a gentleman, I just stood there and took all of her perfectly aimed shots. When she thought I'd had enough of a pounding she came up to me and took MY tuna. MINE ! I still stood there. Gobsmacked. And what I did next surprised even my. I reached to the side of me and picked up a tin of baked beans. Then I hurled it at her. Well, not directly at her. That could have killed even her. So I threw it close enough to scare her, but not close enough to injure her for life. I'm just not that kind of vampire. But I wasn't as good a thrower as my new found enemy. So my missile hit the shelf behind her. Tins and cans went rolling all over the floor with an almighty CRASH. " Oh Crap!" I shouted pretty loudly. The old lady was stood, rooted to the spot with a shocked expression that mirrored mine, whilst the floor around her ankles was flooding with tinned food. "Sorry." I said weakly as the can of tuna dropped from her hands. A sales assistant came walking towards us so I decided it was time to go.

I also decided I would let her keep the can of fish. After all, what did I want tuna for ?

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**Hiya everyone !! First of all, sorry that this chapter is so short. I hope the next one will be longer. What did you think hey ? Did you like it ? Please review and send me any ideas for anything you would like to see in further chapters. Thank-you for everyone who has reviewed so far. I really appreciate it ;)**


	6. Chapter 6

**Disclaimer: **O.K. So I don't own _twilight_ or any of the characters in it. Stephanie Meyer does. I do not own _Barbie_ either. But I don't know who does. Sorry :(_

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_BPOV_

After Emmet had finished his story we all just stood still staring at one another. If everyone felt the way I did then they were all a bit shocked. I guess it was still sinking into my brain. Then Edward broke the silence by chuckling to himself. "Yes Emmet. You could have without, a doubt, taken her." That broke the trance. Our group started to look less like a group of living-statues and more like a giddy bunch of teenagers again.

"Oooooo. Can it be my turn next? I've got a good idea." I asked Alice who seemed to be in charge of this whole charade. I'd been thinking about it throughout Emmet's tale and had come up with an idea to better our 'stunt'.

"Sure Bella, of course you can. Come on. Everyone to the entertainment aisle." She motioned in the air for us to follow her. I slipped my hand into Edwards and trotted along behind her.

"Just give us 2 seconds." I said when we arrived. I steered Edward to the side and whispered into his ear, "I think it would be better if we swapped roles. It will be funnier."

"Of course we can. Your coming up with a lot of ideas today. I need to come up with some of my own. I can't have you doing all of the work." He breathed into my ear as he held me into his chest. I could smell his sweet breath and feel the cold rush of air as it hit my cheek. I gasped before bursting into slightly hysterical giggles. He kissed my nose before saying "Showtime." He walked casually over to where a rack of DVD stood. Once I had managed to stop laughing – which was only after Alice came over and asked if I needed some help (the help being slapping me a slap to bring me back to reality) – I walked over and joined Edward. He was looking through the rack trying to find the right film. I glanced behind me and sure enough I saw the little red light on Alice's camcorder. Great so it was going to be filmed as well. I had a feeling I was going to mess this up. But I straightened my back and got ready to play my part. Edward pulled a DVD off the shelf and I knew that this was it.

"Bella, Can I get this please?" He asked in a whining voice that could only resemble a toddler.

"But Edward, honey, I got you one last week. And you still haven't watched it yet. Just put it back. There's a good boy." I spoke slowly and ruffled his hair when I was done. I turned away from him again and returned to looking at the back of another DVD.

"But Bella. I really, really, really, really, REALLY want this one."

"Edward. I said no. Put it back." I said in an authorative voice. People were beginning to look our way. Perfect. An audience.

"But I WANT IT." He shouted as he stomped his foot and folded his arms.

"EDWARD. I said no. No means no. Maybe next week. Now come on let's go."

"BUT I WANT IT NOWWWWWWWW!"

"Well you can't have it."

"I WANT BARBIE DVD. I WANT BARBIE DVD. I WANT IT NOWWWWWWW! " He shouted as he threw himself on the floor and began to scream louder. " WHY ARE YOU SO MEAN! YOU NEVER DO ANYTHING FOR ME! I HATE YOU!"

"Get up this instant. Edward Anthony Masen Cullen or so help me you will be grounded for the rest of your life. You're causing a scene." Everyone was looking now and I could feel my cheeks flushing.

"I HATE YOU, I HATE YOU, I HATE YOU!"

"FINE THEN I'LL GET YOU YOU'RE STUPID BARBIE ARE YOU HAPPY NOW? EVERYONES LOOKING AT US!" Even I was impressed how load and angry that came out.

"Yes. In fact, I don't even want it anymore. Barbie's for girls." He got up, brushed himself off and walked off towards his family. I shoved the DVD back where it came from and stormed off in the same direction as Edward. When we left I could hear everyone talking quietly to each other.

"Was that for real?"

"Boys are so immature."

"I think he has some sort of mental illness"

I practically ran all the way towards where everyone was now stood a few aisles away as I was about to explode with laughter. By the time I reached them I couldn't even breathe I was laughing that hard. But then a lady in her late 80's came up to me and said "You ought to keep that boy of yours under control. He's too old for tantrums now." I just stared after her as she hobbled off. Then I realised. It was Emmet's friend. I laughed again.

"Now it's my turn." Said Alice as she flashed a brilliant smile at no-one in perticular. I wonder what she was planning. I guessed by the look on Edwards face that she had done exactly the same as Rose had done before. I never knew Edward was so nosy.

I know one thing for sure. It's not doing him any favours.

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**Thank-you to everyone who has commented so far. So, what do you think of the story so far? Good? Bad? Let me know. Review and comment please !! Thanks for reading and will update soon !! :)**


	7. Chapter 7

**Disclaimer :** I don't actually own _twilight _or any of the characters_._ Stephanie Meyer does. But when I do I will most definatly let you know :D_

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_APOV_

Everyone looked slightly nervous as they followed me. I could hear Emmet and Jasper taking bets behind me.

"I bet you 100 dollars that she's going to get one of those display bikes and ride it round the store." Jasper whispered. Yeah right. That wouldn't be much fun. Yay look at me I can ride a bike. My idea was much better.

"Fine but I bet you 100 dollars that she will… Errrm. That she will…that she will belly flop on a toddler." That was crazy even for Emmet. I turned around to him and looked at him like that was the most ridiculous idea ever. Well it was.

"What? I couldn't think of anything to say. It could happen. Couldn't it?" He looked at everyone else for conformation. Bella looked straight at him and said, "Yes Emmet. And Edward here is really a world famous Rock Star. Sex, Drugs and Rock & Roll. That's his motto."

That made me laugh. The weird thing was that I could actually imagine that. Edward rocking out on stage in a leather jacket with an electric guitar. I think the closest he's ever got to that was that year we all entered that talent show at school. 1989 I think it was. And even then he only got up onstage and played the piano. The piano. Very Rock and Roll!

"That's not funny Alice." I heard Edward hiss at me.

"Well it is to me." I replied sticking my tongue out at him.

We arrived in the toys aisle. It had everything from stuffed animals to little remote control cars. I knew what I needed. I gave the camera to Rose and told her what to do. I skipped off and left everyone watching me carefully. I knew that they didn't want to miss what I was going to do.

The whole aisle was full of people. Full of kids, parents and even grandparents. All browsing the shelves for something 'suitable'. The more people the better the effect would be. This was going to be fab. I looked back to check that Rose had managed to turn the camera on. I saw the red light flashing. Then Bella gave me thumbs up. I gave her one back. Then I focused on the task in hand.

I walked up to where a load of stuffed dogs sat in a big metal basket on the wall. I acted all excited and squeezed into the gap that was between 2 small children. They couldn't be more than 6. So cute! Anyway I started squealing about how cute they all were and how much I wanted one. Then I started the difficult task of choosing one. I went through the whole litter of little puppies. I finally decided on a small poodle look-a-like. I picked it up and spun around with it held in my hands. I then cradled it close to my heart. " We're going to be the **best** of friends. Forever and ever. I love you Skittles." Skittles? Where the heck did that come from? Never mind. Skittles would have to do.

But then I let my face drop and my eyes pop wide open. I felt frantically for the pulse on my new best friend. "OH MY GOD! I CAN'T FIND HIS PULSE! SOMEBODY HELP ME!" I screamed hysterically to anyone who would listen. Some of the parents gave me a sympathetic look. They must have thought I was retarded or something. Most of the kids looked scared. Terrified even. "It's o.k. Skittles. I'll help you. I won't lose you now. I can't lose you now." I cried as I gave the little stuffed dog CPR. " IT'S NOT WORKING! NO SKITTLES! NOOOOOOOO!" I sat crying over the small 'dead' body of Skittles. A few of the girls started crying. A few of the younger boys did as well. Then someone who worked at the store came over to see what all the fuss was about.

" What seems to be the problem people?" he innocently asked when he saw crying children all cuddling their mommies and me in the middle of the floor crying. I thought I sounded really convincing. I obviously did because I heard the store worked come up to me and say. " Hello? Are you all right there? Why are you crying?" He was being really patronising. As if talking to a baby.

"You want to know what's wrong? Do you really? Fine then I'll tell you. I came in here to buy a new dog. I found the perfect little guy. He was the best dog I could ever ask for. Then seconds after I held him for the first time, just seconds, he died on me." I said wiping the imaginary tears from my eyes. " You are SICK. Selling dead dogs to little kids. You ought to be ashamed of yourself." I hurled Skittles's body at him then turned on my heel and walked off crying again. When I reached Jasper he flung his arms around me protectively and rubbed my back. At that moment I saw the rest of the group huddled around the corner. Rosalie was still filming of course.

"It's all right, honey. Lets go to McDonalds and get you a happy meal. Lord knows you need one after this." Jasper said as he flashed an evil look at the crowd that had gathered. I sniffed and nodded my head. We then walked to where Edward was stood with his hands over Bella's mouth. It was all obviously too much for someone. I mentally told Edward to take everyone to the toilets. That way Bella would not laugh and ruin the sombre mood. He nodded and whispered into Bella's ear. She then nodded and shook his hand off her mouth.

I turned Jasper around and we ambled past the toys aisle again towards the toilets. No one had dared move. Now I had to get to the toilets as well. And quickly.

Once everyone had squeezed into the disabled toilets, locked the door and laughed until we cried. Well, Bella did. She was laughing so hard that she actually had tears running down her face. Anyway, once all of that was over, I turned to face Jasper.

" Right Jasper. You're up." I winked at him. I hoped he had thought of something. I did a quick sweep of the future. Yep. He had an idea in mind. And it would not go as he had planned.

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**Thank you to everyone who has reviewed so far. Would love some more ideas for future chapters. I'm kinda running out :) So please send me any ideas or just oppinions on the stuff I've already written. Please, please, please !!! Hope to update soon :D :D :D**


	8. Chapter 8

_**Disclaimer :** _I don't own _twilight_ or any of the characters. Boo Hoo :(_

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_BPOV_

I watched from the sidelines as Jasper confidently walked across the entranceway. He looked like he knew what he was doing. When he was far enough away Alice turned to the rest of us and gathered us into a huddle. "Right. Jasper doesn't know it yet but he's going to get into a spot of bother with that girl over there." She pointed to a girl who was walking through the doors. She looked slightly younger than us. She had blond hair and was talking to her friend who was walking next to her. They both giggled as they looked straight at him. "When give the signal I want you to first focus your emotions on lust, then anger, then sadness. Can you all do that?" I knew what was coming. I think everyone did. Well, everyone except poor Jasper. We all moved closer so we could hear what was going to happen. We looked a bit suspicious, the 5 of us all moving ever closer to Jasper and his new *ahem* friends. So we broke off Emmet and Rosalie walked away from us and stood over the other side of them. I stood where I was, flanked by Edward and Alice. The Camera came out again so I knew the action was about to start.

"Oh My God! Is that you?" Jasper called as he walked up to the girls who stood still. " That is you isn't it? Oh it is! How are you? I've not seen you forever."

" Errrm, I'm fine thanks. How are you?" The braver girl of the pair said. It was the blond one. The one who clearly fancied him. She sounded uncertain but didn't stop talking all the same. She just laughed nervously.

"I'm great thanks. Oh how's you're sister. Last time I saw you she was heartbroken. And by the way I am so sorry for dumping her like that but I mean she was waaaaaaay too clingy. You know what I mean? No offence." He looked apologetically at the girl in front.

" I think you're getting me confused with someone else. My name's Carrie and this is Mary." She pointed to the sheepish girl behind her. She obviously had a crush on Jasper as well, but she was not as brave as her friend. She stood and gave him a shy wave.

"I'm so sorry. God, that's really embarrassing. I'm gonna go now. Sorry again." He turned around, about to walk off when Alice gave the signal for the first emotion. Lust. It wasn't hard for me. I just imagined Edward… never mind. I started to blush furiously as I looked up at Edward. He was just staring intensely at me. I turned away and blushed even more. I must have looked like a tomato now.

"Wait," Carrie shouted. Jasper turned around to find Carrie pressed agenised his chest. " Please don't go. I want you. I want you now." I stifled a laugh.

Our plan was to make Jasper feel our emotions then he would make Carrie and Mary feel them. It was going well so far. He was trying to avoid her kisses insisting that he was already in a relationship and that he was not the kind of man who played away. As soon as he said that Alice gave the next signal and we all focussed on anger. At first I couldn't think of anything to be angry at then I remembered Mike at the diner earlier today. Then I thought of every other time he had asked me out. Now I was mad. Why wouldn't he give up? Idiot.

I was distracted from thinking by a sharp slapping sound. I looked up to find a shocked Jasper and a fuming Carrie. "Is that the kind of girl you think I am? A home wrecker? A slapper? Easy? Well I'm not." She said before slapping him for a second time. Then the signal for sadness was delivered.

Carrie burst into tears and ran into the ladies toilets followed by Mary. Jasper however still stood there with a hand on his slapped cheek. He looked and said "Nice guys. Real nice."

He looked so funny that I couldn't help but laugh. And almost instantly I heard Emmet's booming laugh and saw his big frame stood next to me clapping.

"That was classic. Jasper you defiantly have a special touch with women." He spoke as he slapped his knees. Jasper gave us a sarcastic smile as he walked over to us. I started laughing all over again. I couldn't forget the look on his face when he had just been slapped. In the words of Emmet. A classic.

" Wait a sec. Rose and Bella. We need to make a trip to the ladies." Alice looked at me as she said that.

"Oh no. It's o.k. I went before. Honestly. I'm good." I assured her.

"No silly. Not for that reason. I have another idea." Whoops. I guess I shouldn't have said that. But now I wanted to know why the hell Alice wanted to go to the toilets. She had a look of mischief in her eyes. I didn't know what to expect as I was dragged towards the toilets. I knew one thing though. It would involve Carrie and Mary.

"Ready for some fun girls?" She asked as we approached the door. "Just follow my lead."

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**What do you think? Good? Not so good? I wanna know ! I'm hoping to get 30 reviews before my next chapter. Please help me :) Thanks :D Hope to update A.S.A.P. Now what will happen in the toilets ???**


	9. Chapter 9

**_Disclaimer :_** I, sadly, do not own _twilight _or any of the characters. But I would give anything to do so :) :) :)_

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_BPOV_

"I can't believe he would do that to me!" Alice choked out between sobs. I was clueless as to what was happening. I looked at Rosalie beside me and she mouthed 'play along' to me. I nodded and followed her to the sinks. Alice had already locked herself in the furthest cubical away from us. I glanced to my right to see the confused faces of Carrie and Mary. I spoke in a staged whisper, "Boy trouble." Then I rolled my eyes. "You know what it's like." They just nodded and got back to re-applying Carries make-up as she seemed to have cried a lot of it off.

Rosalie went up to the cubical door and knocked softly. "Alice? Honey? Are you alright?" She was answered with a huge wail that made even me jump with surprise. I peeped at the pair next to me again and saw them both enthralled in the drama that was unravelling before their eyes.

"Alice. We can't help you when you're stuck in there. Come out here and tell us what's wrong." I suggested as I walked towards them. "Please. I feel so helpless stuck out here."

Slowly the lock came undone and the door slid open. Alice had her hands over her eyes. She was still howling so Rose brought her into a hug as I went to get some toilet roll to dry her 'ever flowing' tears. We steered Alice towards the sink and sat her on the counter top. I handed her the tissues, which she gladly accepted. She wiped her eyes, still sniffling. I took her hand in my own and looked her straight in the eyes. I tried so hard not to laugh. I had to turn away. "Bella?" Alice asked in a whimpering voice.

"I'm sorry. It just makes me upset when you're upset." I said covering my face up with my arms. I was actually trying to force back the laughter. Force it back inside me. Once I had composed myself I turned around again. I walked back to the sink and tried again. "Alice what's wrong? You're _never _upset. What's made you like this?" I attempted to sound sympathetic. I guess it worked by the expressions on Mary's face. I can't believe they were still here. They were just stood there watching us. Not even being subtle about it. Oh well, if they want a show, I had a feeling they were going to get one.

"Well. It-it was J-J-Jasper." She said in between dabbing her eyes again and blowing her nose. Very convincingly I might add.

"What did he do to you honey?" Rose asked still rubbing her back soothingly.

"I-I-I saw another woman trying to kiss him!" she exclaimed before bursting into tears again. "I saw it with my own eyes. He's seeing someone else I know it." Carrie and Mary gave each other warning looks. We pretended not to notice.

"Alice. He would never, ever, ever cheat on you." I said as I gave her a fresh batch of tissue.

"You think so?" She asked in such an innocent voice that it made the girls in the corner turn away in shame. But not for long though.

"Hey, I know so. You are just so pretty and so awesome. And he absolutely adores you. Remember last valentines day?" I asked hoping for a good story. Something to make them run out of the room with guilt. I hoped they would soon. This was all getting a little too funny to bear. Everyone else seemed to be managing all right. Maybe it was just me. There's always one. And it usually is me.

"Yeah." Alice spoke slowly and quietly to catch the 'home wreckers' attention. "Yeah, I do. He gave me a dozen red roses and then he took me on a moonlit walk and we danced to our song when it came on the little portable radio he brought. You remember what it was don't you?" That question threw me. I couldn't remember any songs whatsoever. I was useless at thinking on my feet. Alice was staring at me expectantly, waiting for an answer. Then Rosalie came to my rescue.

"How could we forget? Your song is 'The Bad touch' by Bloodhound Gang. How romantic." She threw a look at me like she had just seen a newborn baby or a little puppy or something as cute as that. I couldn't fight the laughter. I snorted. Then I saw 4 pairs of eyes looking daggers at me.

"What's so funny Bella?" Alice asked. Her voice was hinting anger. Uh oh! I had just ruined the entire stunt. Think fast Bella. Think fast.

"I just find it so funny that you're even mildly concerned about this whole situation." I said at last. "I mean, Jasper clearly worships you. That girl who was flinging herself at him was probably some desperate hooker who wasn't getting any business. And of course Jasper refused. He loves you Alice." Phew, good save. "I wish Edward loved me like that. You know sometimes I think the only reason he's with me is for sex." I flopped on the sinks next to Alice. This time it wasn't me who laughed. She and Rose both burst into fits of giggles simultaneously. "Anyway, If I see those girls again I will personally put them in hospital for hurting my best friend ever." I looked at Rose. She folded her arms and coughed suggestively. "Okay then. Joint best."

"I totally agree. And I think me and Bella could seriously take them out." Rosalie put her arm round my shoulder. Then she offered her other arm to Alice. "Group hug?"

Whilst I was being squished in this sickeningly sweet embrace, Carrie and Mary slipped out the door with worried looks on their faces. And not a moment too soon.

"Oh I thought that they were never going to leave." I said as the giggles tore from my lips. And 'The Bad Touch'? What were you thinking Rose?"

"Well it was the least romantic song I could think of. Anyway I thought it was all ruined when you started laughing Bella." Well to be honest so did I.

Once I had finished laughing like a hyena and had my hair re-done several times by Alice, we re-emerged from the ladies room. The boys were walking towards us with exasperated looks on their faces. "Could you have been any longer?" I heard Emmet say. "We heard what was going on though. The Bad Touch. I thought that was our song Rose?" A wide smile spread across his face and he winked at her as she hit him playfully on his chest.

"Yeah, yeah. You wish." She said as we walked off into the main shop again. "Right. Who's turn is it now."

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**I hope you liked this chapter. I haven't got 30 reviews yet :( Maybe you could help me out? You can say anything you want !! Hope to update soon. Thanks again to everyone who has reviewed so far !!**


	10. Chapter 10

**_Disclaimer :_**I don't really need to say that I don't own _twilight_ or any of the characters. They are the work of Stephanie Meyer. Booya for TWILIGHT!! Wooooooo :D_

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_BPOV_

"Oooo. My go. I've not had one yet. Please can it be my go? Please, please, please?" Emmet said in the style of a very excited 5-year-old.

"Fine then Emmet. Where do you want us?" Jasper said.

"Yesss!! Okay. Errrm. Right meet me in the aisle with the duvets and curtains and stuff in. I'll be two minutes." Was all he said before he took off.

We all had the same look on our faces. Confusion summed the look up pretty well. Nevertheless, we all walked slowly towards the 'duvets and curtains' aisle. Never in a million years did I expect to see what I saw. I stopped in my tracks and stared in disbelief. I felt a smile snake it's way across my face. On the opposite side of the aisle Emmet was stood in nothing but a bed sheet and a crown make from three cucumbers. He had fashioned the sheet into a toga style thing and was stood in a regal pose.

"Do I look cool or what?" Emmet proudly asked.

"I'll go for what. Are you actually wearing _anything_ under that thing?" Alice asked cautiously. Did anyone actually want to know the answer to this?

"Why? Do you wanna see?" He said as he pulled the bed sheet up to reveal the top of his leg. Before I had the chance to turn away I felt a cold hand shield my eyes.

"Thank you." I whispered to Edward.

"Awwwww. Spoil sport. She wants to see what she's missing out on! Seen as she's not getting anything from you." The hand came away from my eyes just in time to see the brief look of terror on Emmets face. I looked at Edward to see his mouth contorted into a snarl. I heard a low growling sound coming from inside his chest.

"Whoa! Chill out bro. I was only kidding!" He said holding his hands up in a defensive position.

"So, anyway, what's the plan Emmet?" I asked sliding my hand into Edwards once again in the hope of calming him down.

"Follow me." He said immediately cheering up again.

So we followed him as he walked around the store looking for the most crowded place to start. When he was happy that there was enough people in the audience he flung his arms wide open and proudly declared, " I am Emperor Smellius Farticus! I and my wife here, Bigicus Boobyus (at which point he pointed to Rosalie who was trying to hide behind Edward and myself.) are looking for willing victims, I mean volunteers for the mini-olypics being held tomorrow. We have come to ask all of you peasants because we used up all of the slaves at the party last night. That was one hell of a game of Twister though." He added as he turned back to us. Rose was still hiding. I couldn't blame her really. "So, who's up for it then?"

Just then I turned around to see the same old lady that had assaulted Emmet before waddling up to him again. This time she was armed with a big French stick.

"You. You're the one who stole my tuna. And now you're stood in front of me calling me a peasant to my face. No-one calls Gladys Monroe a peasant and gets away with it." And with that she started to chase Emmet around the shop.

"Hey lady! What are you doing? No, don't hit me with that. Don't hit me with the bread. Noooooo!" I burst into laughter. Just the sight of Emmet being chased around Wall-Mart by an elderly, but by no means fragile, lady. With a stick of bread for a weapons. And there's me thinking you needed a stake to defeat a vampire! Well maybe not a stake but you needed to do a hell of a lot more than chase them with bread!

"So we'll see you later Smellius Farticus!" Edward called to his 'brother'. "Bella, you hungry yet?"

I nodded gratefully as we walked away from the chaos. But as we were walking to the café area I saw a face that I could really do without seeing right now.

"Hey Bella! Fancy seeing you here." Two Words. Mike. Newton.

This was going to be trouble. Or would it be a chance for revenge? I was so sick of Mike just bumping into me everywhere I went. He was just always there. I looked at the rest of the Cullen's. They all had the same smiles on their faces.

Revenge Time! And this time it _was_ personal.

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**Okay so this isn't the longest of chapters I've written and I appolagize for that. Although I hope to post another chapter A.S.A.P. All I need to do is think of some way to mentally torture Mike Newton. Such a hard life ! Thanks for all the reviews I've got so far. Please keep them coming. :) :)**


	11. Chapter 11

**_Disclaimer : _**I do not own _twilight _or any of the characters. But if you do I would be willing to give you all the money in my possesion - all £2.51 of it (yeah, the credit crunch really sucks!)_

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_BPOV_

"Oh. Hi Mike." I mumbled as I pushed past him and sat down at a table. He sat at a table close enough to hear us but not close enough to look suspicious. I took off my jacket and draped it round the back of my chair. As I did so, Edward whispered something in my ear. I couldn't hear him first time round because I was a little distracted by the sheer beauty of the face in front of mine.

"Alice has gone to get you something. Just play along with it. But for now just act all worried and upset. Can you do that?" I nodded my head weakly, playing my part already. He winked at me and I allowed myself a small smile. He kissed my forehead and rubbed my back rhythmically. "Don't worry Bella. We'll sort all of this out. Don't worry." And I kid you not that Mike's head actually inched closer to us so he could hear better.

Second's later Alice game jogging up to the table. "Hi Bella. I got what you wanted. Here." She said as she handed over a small paper bag with a cardboard box inside. I took the box out and once I saw it the plan became a whole lot clearer. In my hands was a pregnancy test. I held it in the air pretending to study it but what I was really doing was letting Mike get a good look at it. His mouth literally dropped open when he realised what it was.

"Is this the right one?" I asked in a loud whisper. She nodded. I dropped the box on the table. "I-I-I can't do it." I replied.

"Well do you need a drink or something?" Edward asked as he waved Rosalie to go and get me something.

"I just don't know what to do. I mean what if it's …" I hesitated before I said the word. "… Positive? I mean I can't tell Charlie. He'll kill me. And what would everyone at school say?" I asked as I put my head on Edwards chest.

"They'll all say that it was about time that you two got it on." Emmet said as he high-fived Jasper.

"Go away! How can you be so insensitive at a time like this? This isn't some joke." Edward practically roared back. I caught a glimpse of Mike. His face was a picture. He looked scared, shocked and yet still mildly amused. It was so funny I started laughing. What was it with me and laughing today. I couldn't stop.

"Now look what you've done! You've made Bella cry. Idiots!" Edward roared again. I looked up to smack the back of Emmet's head. That just didn't help with the laughing situation. So I let out some loud crying noises.

"Bella? I got you some juice. Come on. Just ignore those two knuckleheads over there." She said. "Drink up." I wiped my eyes and took a sip of the orange juice in front of me.

"Thanks." Was all I could manage to say in-between sips. When I finished I set the glass back on the table and looked around me. The amused look was off Mike's face now. However he still looked totally gob smacked. I stood up slowly and picked up the test from the middle of the table. "Will someone come with me? Please?" I asked. Alice and Rose got up in sync and took one arm each as they led me to the restrooms. Once inside the door I started laughing again. "Wow. Great idea Alice. Did you see the look on his face?"

"Yeah, well done Alice. He fell for it hook, line and sinker." Rose agreed. "All we have to do now is make Bella cry." I must have looked scared because I herd her laugh before saying "Not for real. Just make it look like you've been crying." So I had make up smudged down my face and water flicked in my eyes. Although the overall effect was quite realistic. _All the better to fool Mike with. _I fluffed my hair in the mirror before turning round and saying "How do I look?"

"Perfect. Absolutely Perfect." Rosalie stood back admiring her handy work.

"Now we need to go back out there. Oooo. Don't forget this." She told me as she passed me the test. As soon as we stepped out of the doors Emmet and Jasper greeted us.

"Don't worry Bella. We're still watching. Good luck!" Jasper spoke in a hushed voice. "That Newton kid's emotions are all over the place. Good work." I said a quick thanks before I was escorted back to the table by my two bodyguards. As we got closer Edward stood up and groaned.

"Oh Bella. I'm so sorry. This is all my fault." He examined my face. "Are you okay?"

"I just want to get away form here." I breathed concentrating on not laughing again.

"Of course. Come on." He said as he collected my jacket and slung it over my shoulders. He cuddled me close as I pretended to cry again.

"Mike." I said as we passed. His mouth was still hanging open. Maybe this would put him off me for a while anyway. Until he realises it was all fake. Assuming he would find out.

We reached the cars and no one could hold it in any more. The laughter came bursting out of everyone at the same time. I was the first one to speak. "Sorry to be a bother but could we possibly go back to yours so I could clean up a bit before I go back in there. Plus it could be a while before Mike find his legs again anyway and I'm starving."

"Of course my Angel. And well done for back in there. He was totally fooled. He was even considering phoning your Dad. And you looked as if you had actually been crying. I was quite worried until I was mentally assured that it wasn't real." I smiled proudly as he opened the Volvo door for me.

We talked about it all the way home and we both agreed that it would not put Mike off for very long. In fact he would probably ring me up tonight offering to be a shoulder to cry on.

We reached the Cullen's house in record. I was looking forward to lunch. Hopefully Alice would let me make my own food this time though. I didn't fancy burnt toast again. But as soon as I opened the door my phone rang. It was Charlie. I answered it to hear an angry voice scream down the line, "PREGNANT?"

This was going to take some worming out of.

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**So, you like the chapter ? I had fun writing this one! In case you've not guessed I don't like Mike much. Will update soon. Please carry on reviewing!! Thanks for reading XX**


	12. Chapter 12

**_Disclaimer :_** I don't own _twilight _or any of the characters. But I plan to one day. Once I have taken over the world *evil laugh*_

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_BPOV_

The next half an hour was spent trying to convince Charlie that I was not if fact pregnant. I had to explain it to him dozens of times that it was only a prank. When everyone arrived home which was only seconds after us they thought it would be a good idea to put the call on speakerphone. So everyone bar Edward and me were rolling around on the floor in silent laughter. But finally after a lot of shouting and tears of frustration on my part, the phone call came to an end after Carlisle came home early and persuaded him that we were telling the truth. I think that if it hadn't been for Carlisle then that would have been the end of my sleepover at the Cullen's.

After that I was fed, watered and cleaned up then it was back to Wall-Mart for some more family entertainment. I thought Mike had left by now. So it would be safe. For him that is. When I saw him next I would so make his life not worth living. But what I really wanted to know was how the hell he got my Dads number.

I didn't want to think about Mike anymore so I asked, "Anyone got any ideas?" As soon as I finished the question Edward started chuckling. "Do I really sound that funny?" I asked.

"Not at all love. But someone here just had a brilliant idea." He turned and looked at Jasper who did a little bow.

"Well, she did ask." He said as he came back up. "You in Edward?"

"Of course. You in Emmett?"

"Sure. But what the hell am I meant to be doing?" asked a confused looking Emmett. The boys walked away from us trying to explain what the idea was. I didn't hear a word of it.

"Great. So what do we do then?" I thought out loud.

"Don't worry about it Bella. This is going to be so great." Alice said as she took my arm again and pulled me away. I had just enough time to grab the collar of Rosalie's shirt and pulled her along for the ride.

So when we arrived at our destination I found the aisle was surprisingly empty. I mean there were a few people there but I expected to see at least one vampire there. I went to join the other two who were standing by a kid's bike. It was then I realized that we were on another kid's aisle. I was just stood around wondering what on earth this idea could be. Then from out of nowhere I heard the Ghostbusters theme song. I think I knew what was coming. I saw Emmett, Jasper and Edward dancing round the corner in matching beige outfits with vacuums stuck to there backs.

"Who you gonna call?" They called still dancing around.

"GHOSTBUSTERS!" Shouted several little kids and I must say so did a few adults. They carried on dancing and singing and busting ghosts until someone from another aisle shouted, "I wish someone would turn that music OFF!" with emphasis on the off.

"I couldn't agree more." Said Rosalie surprisingly. "Only it's not the music I want off. TAKE IT OFF! TAKE IT OFF! TAKE IT OFF! "She started chanting. I looked at Edward and started doing the same. He gave me a look of mock surprise. I clapped my hands and started whooping.

A few parents decided this was not a side of the Ghostbusters that they wanted to let their children see. So they left. I did spot Carrie and Mary, however, lurking just around the corner with excited faces. We all knew what they were hoping. I think someone else wanted the same because Rose walked over to Emmett and said "I think there's a ghost in the disabled toilets there. Could you maybe come and bust it for me?" She had a shy smile on her face.

"Lead the way ma'am." He said as he tipped his imaginary hat at her. He winked at the rest of us. Ewww. Are they seriously going to do that? Well, of course they are. Stupid question. Alice got up and did the same thing. Once she had got up and left I decided it would be my go. I walked slowly towards _my_ Ghostbusters and tried to mirror that look he gave me from under his lashes. I didn't do it as well as he did. He just looked at me expectantly and said, "Is there anything I can do for you little lady?" I blushed and nodded.

"Actually there is. You see, there's a ghost…" And then I couldn't think of any place for a ghost to be. "Errrm. There's a ghost…" still nothing. "A ghost…"

"Would this ghost be in the back seat of the Volvo by any chance?" He asked giving me the look that I clearly would never master. Why was I always so bad at thinking fast. Damn my stupid human mind!

"Yes. That's where it is. You wanna go and see it?" I asked in a totally unenthusiastic voice, knowing I had just ruined it anyway.

"Yeah why not. It will be a while before we see any of them lot again. Let's go Ghost busting." He smiled as he wove his arm round my waist again. He gave his 'Ghost-busting equipment' to an unsuspecting sales assistant on the way out.

Inside the Volvo we didn't actually do much. We got bored of waiting after about 10 minutes. I got an idea of my own.

"You fancy calling Mike?" I asked with a cheeky grin on my face. Edward smiled at me and held me closer.

"This is why I love you. But what are we going to say?"

I'm sure I could think of something.

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**I have officially reached 30 reviews! In fact I have 31 ! Yay :D Thank you so much everyone who has reviewed. A special thanks to _Jazzy'sGirl4ever_ who was my 30th Reviewer and _Miss Cullen13_!! Please carry on giving me your comments. Will update as quickly as I am able :D**


	13. Chapter 13

**_Disclaimer:_** I do not own _twilight_. Stephanie Meyer does. *dissapointed sigh*_

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_BPOV_

"Here, use my phone. He won't have my number. If you use yours he'll know it's you." Edward suggested as he held out his phone for me.

"I know." I replied. "Stupid caller ID ruins everything." He chuckled as I took the phone and dialled Mike's number. Edward set up Alice's camcorder on top of one of the seats. I wondered how he got it but Alice probably saw this coming and wanted us to film it. The phone started ringing. I put it on speakerphone and waited anxiously for him to answer. 'Good Luck' Edward mouthed to me and gave a reassuring thumbs up.

"Hello?" Spoke the phone. "Hello? Who is this?"

"Is this Lou?" I asked in a southern accent.

"No sorry. Errrm I think you have the wrong number." Said Mike in a totally confused voice.

"Great! Just what I need. Listen will you do me a teeny weenie favour? I'm Hannah and I run a radio station in Texas. And my Agony Uncle just quit. Will you take his place? It won't be hard. People will just phone up with problems and all you have to do is give 'em some advice?" I waited for an answer but the line was quiet. I couldn't wait. I would have to hurry him up. " Shoot! 10 seconds to air? Is that all? Okay sugar just stay calm and you'll be fine."

"But I can't I don't know what to say." Mike answered, sounding a bit scared.

"You'll be fine. Just be quiet 'till I introduce you." I bit my tongue hard trying not to laugh. He sounded so helpless. Time to start the show.

"Hi there and welcome back! This is Hannah and I'll be here all the way until 3! Now it's time for our weekly session with our Agony Uncle and my personal friend, Mr Lou Zarr everybody." There was some clapping and cheering from both Edward and myself before we continued. " How are you Lou?"

"Lou Zarr? Oh yeah, Lou that's me. I'm good thanks Hannah how are you?" He was getting more nervous by the second.

"I'm just super Lou. Right time for the first caller. We should have a caller on line 1. Hello?" I pointed at Edward and mouthed 'you'. He got the message.

"Hi Hanna. Hi Lou." He answered in an accent similar to mine. "I have a problem. You see there's this girl I really like. But she's seeing another guy. I don't know what to do? I mean should I keep asking her out and being persistent or should I just leave her alone?"

"Wow. That's rough. What's you're advice for that one Lou?" I was trying so hard not to laugh again. To my surprise Mike answered almost immediately.

"Well, the same thing happened to me a while ago." He started out. I couldn't say I was surprised to hear this. "I really liked this girl. Her name was Bella and she was perfect. Still is really. But she was seeing this real loser. I confronted her about it. I just took her out one day and told her sensitively that she was dating a jerk. She agreed with me and we were dating each other the next week. We've been happy ever since." He added proudly. My mouth hung open in shock. Did he do this all the time? Have sick little fantasies of him and me together? Ewwwww. Edward looked furious. I shut my mouth and patted his leg sympathetically. 'You're not a jerk.' I mouthed at him. He still didn't look happy. Mike continued to talk, "My advice is to tell her how you feel. She may feel the same way as you do." I shook my head vigorously to get rid of the image of me and Mike together. I would never look at him the same again.

"Thank you Lou. And that's all we have time for this time. Tune in next week for more advice from the one and only Lou Zarr. Right now here's a tune to get you're toes tappin'. Oh thank God it's over. Thank you so much…what did you say you're name was?" I just wanted to get him off the line as quickly as I could.

"Mike." He answered. Well at least he told the truth about that part.

"Right. Thanks Mike. Thanks for all you're help. Okay now. Bye Bye." I cut him off before he could say anything else. I turned to Edward who had been very still since the story of me and Mike. "Edward? Are you all right?" I asked nervously. He turned to face me so fast I jumped in my seat.

"Sorry. I didn't mean to scare you. I'm just really annoyed with Mike." He spat out his name before he turned the camera off. I totally forgot it was even there. He turned to me again.

"You didn't scare me." I mumbled as he pulled me back into his arms.

"Right. Of course I didn't." He said as a smile spread across his face. He leaned forward to kiss me but stopped mid-way and stared at the window. I turned around to see Alice about to knock on the window closest to me. I jumped again and Edward chuckled to himself.

"Are you two quite finished? Because if you want to stay here and suck each other's faces off that's up to you. But I want my camera back." I blushed as I handed her the camcorder.

"That's rich coming from you. What exactly were you and Jasper doing not 5 minutes before you came here?" Edward replied.

"Tushay. Anyway are you coming or what?" Alice flashed a dazzling smile at me. "Ready to have some more fun?"

I sighed and climbed out of the car. " So, whose go is it now then?"

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**What did you think? I was thinking for ages on what to write. Please review !! Will update soon. Need some more ideas so feel free to sugguest stuff you want to see in future chapters :D :D**


	14. Chapter 14

**_Disclaimer:_** SadlyI don't think I will ever own _twilight _or any of the characters in it. I'm not giving up hope though :D_

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_BPOV_

It was apparently my turn again. Even though I pointed out that Edward hadn't done one yet. It didn't matter. I was the chosen one. I was stuck at what to do at first. Then it hit me. But I would need the help from Alice and Rosalie. I don't know if they would help me. After all, they might not like what it entailed.

I got some props for my stunt. I needed a clipboard, some paper and a pen. Alice helped me to find the things I needed because, of course, she had already seen it. And she agreed to help me. One down, one to go. But this one would be harder. I had sent the boys off to please themselves whilst I set up. I peered around to check that they weren't here. If they were it would ruin the surprise. The coast was clear so I lowered my voice so that only my helpers could here my voice. Right, here it goes.

"Rose. I don't know how to ask you this but… You know I need you're help, right?" I started out.

"Yes." She sounded all right at this point. So far so good.

"Well I don't want you to take this the wrong way or anything. Because I mean... I don't think of you that way. But..." And then Alice interrupted me.

"Bella wants us to be escorts. She was scared to ask you because she's heard stories about the last person to call you a prostitute." She smiled at me as if she was doing me a favour. I just covered my face with my hands, preparing for Rosalie to go mad at me. Instead she started laughing. I slowly took my hands away and smiled with relief.

"Really Bella? You were scared of me?" She shook with laughter.

"Well, I was told about that girl in the cinema a few years ago. Emmett told me that her hair might never grow back." I mumbled, tugging at my jacket sleeve.

"Yeah well. It wasn't my fault that I her stupid ape of a boyfriend couldn't keep his eyes off me. She was just jealous." She said in a 'matter of factly' way. "Anyway, what do I have to do?"

So there I was, positioned just outside the shop with my clipboard and pen, waiting for an unsuspecting male to walk by. Then I saw one. A middle aged man walked right in front of us. This was too good an opportunity to miss.

"Excuse me sir. Could I have just a minute of your time?" I asked jumping in front of him.

"Sure. Why not. "He said. Okay. Full speed ahead.

"Thank you. I'm from a company called Cullen's Residence (I don't know why that was the name. Alice told me to call the company that). We're an escort service providing a girl for every occasion. I just want to ask you a few questions if I may." I smiled at him but carried on before he had a chance to object. "Question one. Have you ever used our services before? If not then why? No need, too expensive, you use another company or other. Don't worry all the answers you give me now are confidential. You can tell me anything." I added as he just stood there sheepishly.

"I've never used your services before. Because I didn't really need to. But I mean, the wife's not co-operating anymore if you know what I'm saying. I'd be interested in using you in the future." He looked towards Rosalie and I could have sworn he licked his lips.

"Okay. Question two. How much would you be willing to pay for a night with one of our beautiful girls?" I asked gesturing towards Rosalie and Alice behind me.

"For that blonde beauty? Anything. No price is to high for a looker like that." I shuddered. This guy is disgusting. What a pervert.

"Thank you. And final question. What are your opinions on these two girls stood behind me?" This would be interesting.

"The one on the left, the pixie one, looks a bit too young. Is she over 18?" He asked with a jerk of his thumb.

"Why of course I'm over 18. I just look young but I'm really very experienced." She spoke as she gave him a playful wink.

"And the other. Well what can I say about her. Perfect. In fact I may call her up tonight." He studied her up and down like a dog at a dog show. Rose looked disgusted. She didn't try to hide her expression at all.

"Keep it in you're pants." I mumbled into my clipboard.

"What?" The pervert said. He was now looking at me expectantly.

"Nothing. Thank you for your time Sir. We hope to see you again soon." I smiled and shook his hand. As he walked away I saw Alice push a piece of paper into the guys hand. She smiled at him and whispered something in his ear. Eww. Alice! She bounded back to us with a gleeful look on her face. "What did you do now?" I asked. It was obvious she had done something but the question was what.

"Wait until later. You'll all see soon enough." Her smile widened. "Trust me. It'll be worth waiting for." I saw Edward, Jasper and Emmett walking towards us, all of them looking slightly angered. They had obviously been watching then.

"Your lucky that guy over there is still alive." Edward said. "Emmet and Jasper nearly went over there and ripped his head off. He smirked. "I nearly let them as well except that if I did that we would all be banned from Wall-Mart for life. And we still have more chaos to cause first." He smiled as he took my hand in his and kissed it. I blushed yet again. I find it really embarrassing now. Everyone just laughs at me. Especially Emmett.

"And now. Finally, It's my go." Edward whispered in my ear. The weird thing is he sounded almost evil. What has he got planned?

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**Okay, so this chapter is not as good as the others I have written. In my oppinion anyway. Let me know :D What will Edward do ?? Help ?? Lol :) **


	15. Chapter 15

**_Disclaimer :_** I don't own _twilight _however I do own Edward. Hey, wait... Damn he escaped from his cage. Oh well I guess I don't own him either now._

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_BPOV_

I stood back and watched Edward stride confidently off towards the customer services desk. I must say that he looked very confident. I think I was more nervous than him, which was weird because I wasn't even doing anything. He turned to smile at me before starting. The rest of us shuffled closer without trying to look too suspicious. When we got close enough to listen we stopped and let him begin.

"I'm really sorry to bother you but it's really rather important." His eyes were wide and he was sounding really anxious.

"What's the problem?" The middle-aged woman answered from behind the counter as she gave him a friendly smile.

"Well, you see I've lost my little brother. I was wondering if you would help me find him." I never knew Edward was such a good actor. The customer services rep. looked really sympathetic.

"Oh no. Well of course I'll help you. You just need to answer a few questions first. Is that okay?"

"I'm really in kind of a hurry here. Can we be quick?"

"Sure. First of all, what's his name?" She asked looking at Edward tentatively.

"His name is Willy. He's only 5. I can't believe I lost him." He rubbed his temples trying to calm down.

"And what is he wearing today?" She paused writing her notes and looked him with the same sympathetic face again.

"Erm. He was wearing his Spiderman costume. I last saw him in the toys aisle. Please find him quickly." He gave her a worried smile as she made the announcement.

"There is a five-year-old boy called Willy missing. He is wearing a Spiderman costume and was last seen in the toys aisle. If you do find him please bring him to customer services where his brother is waiting for him. Thank you."

"Thank you so much. You have no idea what this means to me." Edward said looking around for Willy. "Wait a second. That's him. WILLY! OVER HERE!" I looked around but couldn't see anyone in a Spiderman costume. Edward was crouched on the floor with his arms open and a huge smile on his face. "Oh Willy! You never run away from me again, you hear?" He then hugged the air. Then I got it. Willy was invisible. I felt stupid for not guessing this sooner. Edward stood up again and held his 'little brothers' hand. "Thanks once again." He said to the bewildered employee. "Say good-bye to the nice lady." She stood there with a worried smile on her face and waved. As soon as his back was turned she muttered, "What a nutter!"

I was trying not to let the giggles break through again. She really believed he was crazy! Her face was a picture! And Edward was still holding his imaginary brothers hand. I couldn't contain it any longer. I put my hand over my mouth and ran for cover. Once I was out of the customer services lady's sight I burst into laughter. Her face! I would never forget it! Classic.

Once I had composed myself I went to find the Cullen's again. But when I found them Alice looked like she was having a mental breakdown. She was fighting to stand up she was laughing that much. I asked what was _that_ funny. She said I would see soon enough. I hated not being psychic. I always had to wait until later. So unfair. But I knew that this one would be worth waiting for.

"It's getting late. This next prank will be the last one." Alice said once she'd calmed down enough to talk.

"But Alice its only 4 o'clock." I pointed out.

"I know." She responded, "But I need lots of time to get ready for the Awards Ceremony. So do you Bella. I can't work miracles in 5 minutes you know."

"Thanks." I said sarcastically. Great. Hours of Barbie girl fun with Alice. I couldn't wait. "Well who gets the last prank then?" I asked innocently.

Alice turned to Emmett who was looking sheepish. "Why me? I don't even know what to do."

"It'll come to you. Try the medical aisle. You might find something there." She suggested. "Come on people. Get a move on." And as we were being herded like cattle towards the medical aisle I wondered what could possibly be happening. I mean we're talking about Emmett here. Anything's possible!

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**Okay so it's been a while since I updated but I had trouble thinking of what Edward could do. Will hopfully update after the weekend. Thanks to all the reviews I've got so far and keep reviewing please !!! :D :D :D**


	16. Chapter 16

**_Disclaimer: _**I don't own _twilight_ or any of the characters. Damn ='(_

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BPOV

So we got to the medical aisle to find Emmett there already looking at something with a big grin on his face. I couldn't see what he was looking at until he came running over to us with a packet of something in his hands. I thought about leaning forwards to try and get a better look at it. Curiosity got the better of me again so I did but almost immediately turned away again. In his hands was a box of Condoms. Ewwww I so didn't need to see that. Totally unnecessary.

"Emmett, teddy bear, we don't need those. I mean you should know that by now." Rosalie said with a seductive smile on her face.

"No. Not for us. I know what I'm gonna do now!" His grin got wider. "Watch this!" He walked past an old woman who was bent over looking at cough syrup. He then slipped the box into her handbag and came back to us.

"Was that it?" I asked. Well, that wasn't too impressive. I could have done that.

"Is that it? Purlease! Is that what you think of me? Of course that's not it. That's just the beginning." He turned his back and walked back towards the lady again. He waited behind her until she stood up before he cleared his throat to get her attention. She jumped slightly.

"Sorry Dear am I in your way?" She said in true granny style. People like this are impossible not to like.

"No, you're not in my way. But I was wondering if you could help me? You see I was wondering if had change for a dollar?" He smiled and produced a coin from his pocket.

"I should have some change in my purse. Hang on a second love. It's in here somewhere." She mumbled as she felt around her bag for her purse. As she did so the condoms fell out. They hit the floor with a plop. They both stared at it eyes wide. I clamped my lips together to try and stop the laughter. They both looked as shocked as each other. Emmett was the one who broke the silence.

"I believe these are yours." He said as he picked up the box and held it out for her to take. She was cringing away from them. She gingerly reached out and held the box between her thumb and forefinger.

"These aren't mine." She said at last. She looked back to Emmett for approval.

"Listen don't worry about it. It's better to be safe than sorry. And it's great that you're still, errm, active at your age." He gave her an apologetic look. He turned to walk off but was stopped by a guy who worked at the store.

"Excuse me sir but I saw you put those condoms in this lady's bag." He held out an arm to stop Emmett passing. Emmett looked rather worried at this point.

"No I didn't. Don't be silly." He said as he tried to pass the worker. It didn't happen. The panic on his face was showing even more. I disguised my laugh as a cough and received a look of pure evil from Emmett. If looks could kill I'd be dead 5 times over.

"I'm sorry Sir but I can't let you past. You have breached this woman's privacy by going into her bag. I'm sorry about this." He said as he reached for the walkie-talkie in his pocket. "Please bring security to aisle 6. We have a young troublemaker here who needs to be dealt with." His eyes looking first at Emmet, all cold and hard, then he turned to the victim of this prank with warm, friendly eyes. "I'm sorry to keep you madam. We shouldn't be long."

"I didn't do anything! I only wanted some change!" Emmett practically screamed as he charged through the shop workers arms. We followed him as he ran to the toilets, human speed of course. When we arrived at the doors to the toilets we had lost him so we assumed that he had already gone in. I was about to suggest that one of the boys go in and check he was alright when the door to the ladies swung open with such force that I felt a gust of wind hit me in the face. I stared in disbelief as Emmett came running out of the door with Gladys, the crazy lady from before, hot on his heels.

"You enjoy the show, Perve?" she asked still chasing him. He had a genuine look of terror on his face. And that was what sent me over the edge. I cracked up laughing then and before I knew it everyone else was doing the same.

"It's still as funny second time round." Alice said as soon as she could talk again. I straightened up again and wiped the tears from my eyes. I don't think I had ever laughed as much in my life. "I'm going home now. To get the house ready for tonight. Anyone else coming?" So it was agreed that Rose, Alice and Jasper would go home and me and Edward would wait for Emmett. And the only reason we had to was because Emmett had come with Rosalie in her BMW, and she wasn't prepared to wait for him. She wanted to help Alice. So we were stuck with the task of waiting for Emmett to return from him adventures with Gladys.

So Edward and I were sat in the Volvo waiting for Emmett to appear, when Edwards phone started ringing.

"Hello? Emmett where the heck are you? No. No, you go get them yourself. Because I don't want to that's why. Fine then but you better be back at the car by the time we're back. Right. Bye." And then he hung up on him. "Do you feel like going for a little shopping trip? Emmett wants to get some condoms of his own so he can have a water fight with Jasper later and he's run out of water balloons." He explained.

"Sure why not." I said. And with that it was back to the store for a shopping trip.

In the end we got 2 baskets full to the top with Emmett's new water balloons. I was embarrassed as we made our way to the checkout. People were obviously looking at us and talking about us behind our backs. We were looking for the checkout with the least amount of people in as possible. Suddenly Edward stopped and gave me a cheeky grin. "This one." He said and proceeded to unload the contents of the baskets onto the checkouts. It was only when I was stood praying that the queue would move faster that I realised who was in front of me. Mike Newton was stood staring at our shopping with a horror-stricken look on his face. I flashed a smile in his direction before turning back to Edward. 'It's Mike!' I mouthed franticly at him. He just winked at me and spun me back around to face him again. He put his hands round my waist and his head on my shoulder.

"Hey Newton." He smiled. And kissed my neck. I rolled my shoulder to try and shake him off. I loved what he was doing to me because this rarely happened to me but Mike's face was distracting me. He was clearly not loving this public display of affection the way Edward was. Mike cleared his throat before speaking.

"Are they all yours?" He asked pointing to the conveyer belt. I smiled politely at him.

" Well of course they are silly. I mean Charlie's away for the weekend and we don't want to waste any alone time together. We also don't want another…" I trailed off but patted my stomach to get my point across. He looked shocked and disgusted at the same time. I giggled as Edward started whispering in my ear. "You'll have to wait until later. But you won't regret it." I said as I playfully stroked his nose playfully.

"Oh you are cruel. But you should see some of the outfits she's got. Tiny little skimpy things. They make you even more irresistible." He said to Mike as he pulled me into his chest.

"Anyway, I'll, errr, see you guys later. Bye then." Mike was eager to get away. He practically ran away from us. I heard Edward laughing to himself and I had to join in. We stopped laughing when the cashier asked us if we wanted any help packing. But that just set me off again.

We got back to the car with at least 5 full carrier bags. We found Emmett leaning against the boot. "Sweet. You got them. I owe you one."

"Yes you do. $93.50 to be exact. You can pay me later." Edward said loading all the bags into the car. "But now we need to get home before Alice kills me." And you couldn't really argue with that.

So I climbed into the front seat and thought about the horrors at the end of the journey. I will, yet again, become a human Barbie for Alice to dress. Joy!

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**Holu Smokes !! 51 reviews Wow. Keep on reviewing please. It makes me happy to know what you think about my work. And I need to say a really _huge _thank-you to _AliceFan98 _who gave me the idea for this chapter. Thank-you soooo much :D Will update soon. And keep your ideas coming as well!!**


	17. Chapter 17

**_Disclaimer:_** I don't own _twilight_ or any of the characters. Sad but true. ='( Never mind. I can always play with my posters. _

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_BPOV_

I climbed into the front seat next to Edward. He smiled at me before breaking our gaze to look at Emmett who had plonked himself on the back seat. He looked kind of funny. I was so used to seeing him in his big Jeep, but now he was squished into the back seat of Edwards Volvo. Emmett struggled with his seatbelt before putting his hands in his lap and smiling innocently at us.

"What? Why are you looking at me like that?"

"You forget, dear brother, that I can read minds. I would kindly like to remind you of that fact before you continue thinking of any other ways to make this car trip any more difficult than it has to be." Edward spoke trying to keep his cool. A small smile spread across my face but it was quickly removed when Edward faced me. "Ready?" He asked starting the engine. I nodded as we pulled out of the parking space. "I should also warn you about a certain phone call you might be getting. Mike is going to call Charlie again. You better make up an excuse ready for when the time comes. It's going to take a lot of explaining and a heck of an excuse to get you out of this one." He smirked and looked at me. Great! So now I need to think of a good reason as to why I was spotted in Wall-Mart buying lots and lots of condoms with my boyfriend whilst my Dad is out of town and why I was talking about our wild antics in the bedroom with a boy from our school that thinks everything I do has to be reported back to Father. God! I was screwed.

"Emmett?" I asked sweetly. He inclined his head towards me.

"Yes Bella." He said in the same tone of voice as me.

"I need some help. I need an explanation. And seen as this is all your fault will you give me one?"

"Well it wasn't me who decided to talk to Mike about your imaginary sex life." My mouth hung open. I was trying to think of a clever comeback. But in true Bella style all I came out with was, "Yeah, but you… but you…you were scared of an old lady." I smiled smugly having clearly hit a weak spot.

"I was not scared. I was letting her chase me thinking that she scared me when actually I wasn't at all. But she's not a normal old lady. She's like super-granny or something. And she is scary." I looked at him in a sarcastic way. "Well, she doesn't scare me obviously." He said defiantly.

"Sure Emmett whatever you say. But please just have a think for me." I pulled one of my helpless human faces that always got Edward. I hoped it would work on Emmett as well.

"Fine then." He said slumping back in the seat with a thoughtful expression covering his face.

"You'd better hurry up." Edward said. I realised that my mobile was ringing.

"Crap. Emmett any ideas?" I asked hopefully reaching into my jeans pocket for my phone. It was Charlie.

"Nope. Sorry." Emmett said spreading his hands apologetically. I turned to Edward, my last hope. He shook his head and apologized.

"Crap." I was starting to panic. My mobile was still ringing in my hands. I answered it and pressed the phone gingerly to my ear.

"Charlie! How's it going?" I asked trying to sound confident.

"How's it going? How's it going? I'll tell you how it's going. I got another call from an anonymous source saying that they just saw you in Wall-Mart buying contraceptives for your weekend alone. This better be good Bella because I'm about to climb right back in the car and come to drag you kicking and screaming from the Cullen's house unless you can provide me with a really, really good reason why I'm having to call you right now." He sounded really angry. How the hell was I going to get out of this one?

Then I felt a tap on my shoulder. I turned around to see Emmett signalling to me. I couldn't tell what though. He was sort of waving his hands around. What was this charades? "Well Dad. Errm, there is a totally rational explanation for all of this." I stared at Emmett desperately mouthing at him 'WHAT?' His gestures just got more and more confusing. I turned to Edward who was driving at an alarmingly fast pace. I covered the mouthpiece and whispered, "Help!"

"Say that Carlisle needs them for a Sex Ed talk he's doing at a school out of town." He whispered in reply. I felt hot air flood out of my mouth and realised I had been holding my breath. My God. What would I do without Edward? Well, I didn't want to go there again. Once was enough for all of us.

"Hello? Bella are you still there?" Ooops! I forgot about Charlie.

"Of course I'm still here. And what's more, the reason we brought those contraceptives," I could barely bring myself to say the word, "Was because Carlisle asked us to go and get them for a talk he has to do at a school. You know, 'Be Safe Not Sorry' kind of thing. He only asked us because he's been called into the hospital to deal with an emergency. We were doing him a favour Dad, nothing more." Phew. That was a close one.

"Well, then how come I was told you had been telling that poor Newton kid that you and Edward would, well, you know what you told him. He said trailing off. Another question? Quick think of an answer.

"Dad, Mike only said that because he wants to get me and Edward into trouble. He's got this weird thing about me. No matter how many times I tell him to leave me alone he always comes back. It's like he's obsessed or something. He just wants to get rid of Edward so he can have me all to himself. You see?"

"Yes Bella. Sorry for even thinking you'd do a stupid thing like that. Give my best to the Cullens for me. And hey, if you want me to put a restraining order on that boy who's stalking you, just let me know okay?" Edward was chuckling in the seat next to mine.

"Dad, he's not stalking me. But if he calls again, don't listen to him all right?" I was holding back the giggles now.

"Sure. I'll let you know if he calls again."

"Thanks Dad. Bye." We exchanged brief good-byes before hanging up. I breathed a sigh of relief and leaned back in my seat.

"Well done, love." Edward patted my knee as we rolled into the drive. That was one of the hardest things I have ever done in my life. I opened my eyes to see Alice skipping towards me. She threw the door open and practically lifted me out.

"Bella! You're here!" She hugged me tightly before taking my hand and leading me into the house. "Edward next time you see her she will be totally and irresistibly gorgeous."

"Is that even possible?" He shouted back. I smiled uncontrollably and felt myself blush.

"Real cute Edward!" She yelled back. "Now shut your eyes and follow me." I was then blindfolded by one of Alice's many scarves and taken to her and Jasper's room. Once inside I saw at least 20 dresses laid out on the bed and Rosalie stood arranging various hair styling products on Alice's huge dressing table. Brushes of various shapes and sizes, hairspray, mousse, straightners, curlers, crimpers. You name it and it was on that table. Then Alice pulled a huge vanity case from under the bed. I just stood helplessly by the door. Staring in horror at the scene before me. This was going to be like prom all over again. I wondered if I could secretly text Edward and ask him very politely if he would come and rescue me but saw no point in doing so. This was going to happen one way or another. Or as Alice had put it on the blindfolded trip here, 'the easy way or the hard way'.

"So where do you want me first?" I asked defeated.

"Well if you want to take a shower first then you should do it now." Alice replied from deep within her make-up box.

"Why? I only had one this morning. Do I smell or something?" I asked sniffing around me. Alice giggled.

"No you don't smell but I just like to start with a blank canvas. Wash your hair as well." She called as I trudged my way towards the en-suite. I climbed into the shower and felt the hot water falling down my body. My last few minutes of freedom for the night. At least at the end of this nightmare I would be able to curl up in bed with Edward beside me. That almost made all of this worthwhile. Almost.

After a few minutes I climbed out of the shower and put on the pink bathrobe that someone had left me. I towel-dried my hair in front of the huge lighted mirror. I replaced the towel and opened the door very slowly.

"At last. We thought you'd fallen down the plughole. You were ages!" Alice bounced towards me from where she and Rosalie had been looking at the dresses on the bed and discussing their options.

"Alice, I was only 10 minutes." I stated as I was being tugged over towards the styling chair.

"I know but you were 9 minutes too long. We've been getting bored haven't we Rose." They both had twin smiles plastered on their faces. They were going to enjoy this.

"Yes, we were a bit. But no bother, you're here now." Rose answered brandishing a hairdryer. "Just stay still and this will be over before you know it." We both know that was a lie. But I sat back in the chair and let the experts take over. After all, I couldn't wait to see Edwards face when he saw me all dressed up and pretty. That was really the only reason I was putting up with this. I closed my eyes and tried not to concentrate on the circus that was going on around me.

Over before I knew it? Yeah right! Pull the other one.

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**Thank you sooo much everyone !! I have *counts up on fingers* 54 reviews now !! 54!! WooHoo :) I am looking forward to hearing what you think about this chapter. Plus what dresses the girls should wear. Colours, lengths, materials, anything. I will use some ideas in the next chapter. Also I'm going away for a week on monday so I might not be able to update for a while :( Sorry!! Maybe I'll be able to write another chapter before I go. I'll see :D xx**


	18. Chapter 18

**_Disclaimer: _**I do not own _twilight _or any of the characters. Don't know what else to say. I don't own Mario either although that would be awesome as well. I mean who wouldn't want to own Mario ?? :)

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_BPOV_

There was a stunned silence as I stood at the top of the Cullen's staircase. Everyone below was staring at me. With surprise? Amazement? Disgust? I have no idea because I quickly looked away from the 7 pairs of eyes that were studying me. I felt myself flush and grabbed the banister before attempting to walk down the steps.

I hate to admit that, once again, Alice and Rosalie had done an absolutely fantastic job. I was wearing a dark blue dress that Rosalie had picked out for me. It was satin and it brushed my knees as I walked slowly down each step. In fact I was surprised that I could even walk in the high heels that I had been put in. Don't get me wrong they were beautiful. They were the same colour as my dress and at least 4 inches high. I told them that it was a bad idea to put me in heels. I was 99% sure that I would end up injured if not dead by the end of the night. I was laughed at and called overdramatic. I wasn't being dramatic. I was being deadly serious. After my outfit was chosen my hair was dried and straightened and make-up applied before I was escorted to the stairs. Alice and Rose stood below me now looking up at me with the satisfied look of a job well done on their faces. I looked up again to see Edward's eyes staring into mine. That was the point when graceful Bella disappeared. I was to busy being hypnotised by Edwards beautiful liquid topaz eyes that I forgot to look where I was going. I missed the next step completely and fell headfirst downwards. Before I hit the ground I felt cold arms around me. Great! Which one of the Cullen's had caught me this time? I raised my head to see Carlisle stood over me. Behind him I saw Alice shaking her head, Esme quietly giggling to herself, Edward playfully rolling his eyes and Jasper handing Emmett some cash.

"Sorry." I mumbled as I was pulled up. A smile spread across Carlisle's face.

"No worries Bella. Although I think Jasper wants an apology." I looked at him confused.

"Why? What have I done to him?"

"You," he pointed a pale finger at me, "You made me lose $50. I bet Emmett that you wouldn't fall. It was clearly a moment of madness because that's just crazy. I mean a Bella that can actually walk down a flight of stairs without falling. Where's the sense in that?" He raised an eyebrow at me. I blushed yet again.

"Sorry Jasper." I said as Edward came striding towards me. Jasper smiled at me and jokingly punched Emmett on his arm. Emmett then retaliated by doing the same.

"Boys! Not in the house!" Esme called. Edward wrapped his arm protectively around my shoulders. I shivered slightly as his cold hands touched my skin.

"Come on everyone! We all need to vote!" Alice called from across the huge room where tables and chairs were set up for 2. There were 4 tables altogether and a podium at the front of it all complete with a microphone. Behind the podium was a table full of trophies. This was all so formal. The tables were set with white table cloths, silver candlesticks and a small vase of red roses. The boys were wearing suites. Rosalie was wearing a stunning red, strapless dress that made her legs look even longer. Alice was wearing a shin length halter neck in an ivory colour that made her skin look paler and more beautiful than usual. Even Esme was dressed up in a low cut black dress. She looked great, in fact everyone looked fantastic.

We walked over towards the table with our name cards on. Edward pulled my chair out for me and I sat down gratefully. These shoes were really starting to get uncomfortable. I stared down at the table to find a piece of paper. At a closer look I found out that it was voting card. It had a series of boxes on and about 10 categories. I stared long and hard at the card until I was receiving odd looks from a few people around the room. I bowed my head and filled it in. Once I had done Esme came around and collected the ballot papers. "Good luck" She winked at me as she took my votes. I smiled politely back and reached for Edwards hand just as the ceremony began.

Two hours later and the last award was being presented. The most important award as well. It was The Best Prank. The overall winners of this whole evening. Even I was getting competitive now. I had already won Best Team Work for mine and Edwards's tantrum scene. I had also won the award for Best Idea with the whole survey thing. Emmett had won the award for The Most Unexpected Reaction, Rosalie had won the award for The Best Reaction, Jasper had won The Best Improvisation and Alice had won The Most Believable Performance. It was all pretty even at the moment. I hoped I would win The Best Prank. I crossed my fingers on both hands. Carlisle and Esme took the stage again.

"And now the time you've all been waiting for. The Best Prank. This has been a wonderful evening and I want to say thank you to Alice, Rose and my darling wife Esme here for setting this all up. I also want to thank all of the competitors for taking part and …" Carlisle was interrupted by a shout.

"Get on with it!"

"Okay, okay. Keep your frilly knickers on Emmett." Esme smiled as she took controll of the mic. She opened the golden envolope slowly to increase the tension. "The award for The Best Prank goes to …"

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**This is where I want your votes. Who do you think deserves the title of The Best Prank? Will it be Alice? Or maybe it was Bella with her phone call for her fake radio show? The Pregnancy scare or the disaster at the check out. It's your choice. So review and cast your vote now. Who knows your vote might be the difference between making your favourite a winner or simply a runner up. I need to say a huge thank you _Missythevampire_ who chose the dresses for Alice, Bella and Rosalie. Will update in about a week so it will give you a chance to decide a winner :D xx **


	19. Chapter 19

**_Note:_**

Thank you to everyone who voted! Hope this chapter does not disapoint! Enjoy :)

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_BPOV_

"The award for The Best Prank goes to …" There was a long pause. Everyone leaned forward in their chairs. I could see the look of pure anticipation on Emmett's face. If I wasn't so anxious I would have laughed at him. Instead I just lent further forward in my chair. And then suddenly, I was on the floor and I was hurting. "Too much leaning" I said as I stood up and rubbed my bottom. "Ouch. Stupid floor. Stupid chair. Stupid suspense." I looked around to see everyone was looking at me. Oh dear. I blushed and mumbled an apology. Edward pulled me onto his knees. I curled into his chest. I wasn't bothered about this award any more. My poor bum!

"Carry on." Edward told everyone before kissing my forehead. Everyone turned their attention back to Esme on the platform.

"Yes. So, anyway. The winner is drum roll please." She drummed her fingers on the podium. "Bella! For the convincing performance she gave faking the pregnancy! Congratulations sweetie. Come and get your award." Edward stood up with me still in his arms.

"I can walk you know." I said. So I was put down and had to make my own way to the stage. I sort of hobbled because of my new found injury and also because of these shoes. Anyway so I got to the stage and was handed this rather big trophy. Then I felt something being placed on my head. I felt for what it could be and I found a little tiara sat on my hair. I felt like I'd just been crowned prom Queen or something crazy like that. Everyone was clapping and whistling. Except Emmett. He looked sulky. But Rosalie stood on his foot and he started clapping in a totally unenthusiastic way. Then I heard chanting.

"Speech, speech, speech." I was directed over towards the microphone. Well this would be interesting. I didn't know what to say. And I told them as much but it was insisted that I make a proper speech.

"Fine then. You want an Oscar's acceptance speech then you'll get one." I said into the mic. "Thank you all so much for voting me the winner. It means so much to me. It's such a great honour. I also want to thank my fellow nominees for their outstanding performances today. It should be one of you up here instead of me." I burst dramatically into fake tears. "I want to thank Esme Cullen and Carlisle Cullen for presenting me with this award, Alice Cullen for coming up with the idea, Rosalie Cullen for being ready for whatever came our way, Edward Cullen for being such a great supporting actor, Jasper and Emmett Cullen for adding much needed humour into the performance. Also, my fantastic boyfriend Edward for always loving me, my mom and dad without whom I would not be here today, my hair and make-up artists Alice and Rose, my wardrobe assistants Alice and Rose and my invisible friend Justin Case. This ones for you baby!" I kissed my trophy and wiped the imaginary tears from my eyes. "I want to thank one last person. Mike Newton for being a stalker and a snitch and a general moron. Without you Mikey I would be much happier but I would not be accepting this award. Well I guess you can't have everything, right? Thank you once again! Goodnight!" I smiled my brightest smile before flouncing off stage back to my seat. The ceremony was ended and as soon as the last words were said I was upstairs taking the dress off.

About half an hour later, everyone was sat around in the lounge watching television. I was eating my way through the perfectly made Pot Noodle that I had prepared myself and sat snuggled up to Edward. I don't remember what we were watching but I remember it had a car chase in to keep Emmett happy. He wasn't in a good mood since he hadn't won that award. We were all operating on mission 'Make Emmett happy or get ready for a pretty boring night'. So far so good. A few minutes ago I had given him a noodle to play with. He said he wanted one because they looked weird. Good enough reason for me. So I was concentrating on eating without sending Noodles flying all over the room, trust me it's harder than it looks for someone like me, when the phone started to ring. Alice lept up and shouted "I'll get it" to anyone who would listen. She then came back in the room holding the phone. "Rose, It's for you. But use the phone it the kitchen because this one doesn't sound right." Rosalie shrugged and got up off the sofa and left for the kitchen. Once she was out of the room Alice motioned for us to come closer. "Everyone has to be really quiet now. I mean like deadly quiet." That was aimed at me I'm sure. I nodded and waited for what was coming next. " Just listen to this." Alice whispered as she put speakerphone on.

"Hello? Who is this?" Rosalie started out.

"This is Cullen's Residence isn't it?" Said a familiar voice that I couldn't quite place. I know it was a guy. But I couldn't remember where I recognised his voice from.

"Yes it is. Rosalie speaking, how can I help?" She sounded like a secretary or PA or something. So formal.

"Rosalie? You're the pretty blonde one aren't you?"

"Yeah, It has been said." I could just imagine her twirling her hair around her fingers.

"Good. You remember me?"

"Errrr, not really."

"I met you today at Wall-Mart."

"I met lots of people today. Busy, busy, busy. That's me."

"Of course. How silly of me. Anyway, getting straight to the point, are you booked tonight?"

"Booked? I don't quite understand. I'm not doing anything tonight if that's what you mean."

"Great. How much do you charge for a session?"

"Session?"

"You don't have to play the dumb blonde with me. I like a smart girl."

"What? Are you hitting on me?"

"Am I not allowed to do that? Will you come and spank me if I carry on?" Then I remembered. The creepy pervert from our survey. Ewwww. I cringed at the memory.

"No I will not. Stop talking to me like that. I don't have to listen to this you know I could just put the phone down right now."

"Stop teasing me like that. I'll pay whatever your rates are as long as you can meet me in the next 20 minutes at my house. The wife's away so there's no one her except me. We won't be caught. Don't worry. So, can you come?"

"NO YOU DISGUSTING LITTLE MAN I WILL NOT! IF YOU EVER RING THIS NUMBER AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD I WILL TRACK YOU DOWN MYSELF AND CUT OFF A VERY PERSONAL PART OF YOU WITH A TEASPOON AND THEN I WILL FEED IT TO A HUNGRY PIGEON RIGHT BEFORE YOUR EYES! DO YOU UNDERSTAND ME CREEP?" I could feel the anger through the phone. I actually cowered away from it. That was scarier than any film I had ever seen.

"Yes ma'am." The man on the receiving end of this over-whelming threat mumbled. "Sorry, to bother you ma'am."

"Quick everyone act natural!" Alice cut off the telephone and dived onto the couch closest to her. After that everyone scrambled frantically to find a space to sit and to find something to do. How do you act natural anyway? It's like the hardest thing to do ever. Emmett actually started whistling. And Jasper and Alice were actually pretending to discuss what was wrong with the 'broken' phone. I realised that I had in fact spread my dinner over the rug in the panic to act natural. Crap. So when Rose walked back into the room as if nothing had happened Emmett was whistling and looking incredibly shifty, Alice and Jasper were inventing and discussing reasons why the telephone sounded fuzzy plus you had me and Edward mopping up Pot Noodle from the very expensive rug. Jasper was the first one to talk.

"So what was that all about huh? I heard you shouting."

"Oh it was nothing. Just this creep who was talking dirty to me. Totally unbelievable. Do any of you remember that disgusting pervert at Wall-Mart today? Well it was him. By the way does anyone know how the hell he got our number?" I looked at Alice as I remembered just before the creepy guy left she gave him that piece of paper. Good one Alice.

"No. Not a clue. That sleazy guy? Yuck. I can't believe you actually talked to him. You're so brave." I remarked. Rosalie sat down next to her still whistling husband.

"So, what's on the TV then?" Rose said. Everyone was safe. For now at least. But how long would that last?

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**It feels so great to be writing again! A whole week! It's too long! Anyway, so Bella won the vote. The actual results are:**

**_Emmett - 1  
Edward - 1  
Bella - 6  
Alice - 2  
Rosalie - 0  
Jasper - 0_**

**Please review! I love reading your comments! As always ideas are welcome for future chapters. Will update as soon as I can! :D xxx**


	20. Chapter 20

**_Disclaimer: _**I do not own _twilight_ or any of the characters. I did own my own clothes though but sadly they all shrunk in the wash and now my barbie owns them._

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_BPOV_

The room once again quietened back to usual. Everyone was staring at the TV blankly. I gave up on eating after the rug incident. I was so bored. Suddenly Alice jumped in front of the television so no one could see the screen. "Wake up people! We can't just sit here all night doing nothing except watching rubbish on TV."

"Well have you got any ideas?" Edward challenged.

"No, not yet. Has anyone else got any?" Alice asked hopefully looking around the room.

I shrugged my shoulders. "Sorry, I've got nothing. Anyone else?" Everyone simultaneously shook their heads. Great. Another boring night. My mobile started ringing in my pocket. Well, vibrating. And when it did I actually screamed. I heard laughter from around the room. It wasn't that funny. I looked at the screen. Oh dear. Mike was calling. Why? Why me? I answered the call. Alice probably saw this one coming because she mouthed 'speakerphone' to me. I nodded and spoke.

"Hello? Who is this?" I knew damn well who it was.

"Hiya Bella. It's Mike." Really? I didn't know. "I hope I'm not interrupting anything." He sounded embarrassed. Probably because I told him me and Edward would be 'busy' all night long.

"Well, actually you kinda did. Edward stop it I'm on the phone." I giggled. Edward knew what to do.

"But Bella. You can call them back later. I need you now." He said kissing my neck.

"It's Mike. Stop, no stop." I started giggling again as he was now kissing my jaw line. "I'm going to go downstairs for a minute. Where's my robe? Well, I don't know either. Pass me that sheet then. Well I'm not going to walk around the house like this now am I." I heard heavy breathing from the other end of the conversation. I won't even begin to imagine what Mike's thinking now. Yuck. "Mike you still there?" I asked innocently.

"Yeah, I mean sure."

"What did you want? Because I'm kind of in the middle of something right now."

"I just wanted to know if you wanted to go to a movie tonight? I mean, we could watch whatever you wanted. You up for it?" Why is he so persistent? Why can't he just give up? I looked up and rolled my eyes. Alice was nodding her head violently. She must be mad! I started having a silent fight with her. She kept insisting that I go but I really didn't want to.

"Bella? Will you come?"

"Fine then. Meet you at the cinemas at 9 okay?" Alice owed me one for this.

"Great! See you then." Mike must have thought he had hung up because I'm sure he didn't mean for me to hear what he said next. He did this weird victory song. "Oh yeah! Oh yeah! Oh yeah yeah yeah! I got a date. With Bella. She said yes. She blew off Edward." What the heck? "You're in their Mike-ster. Only a matter of time before you get the girl." I gasped in shock. I think he heard it. "Hello? Hello? Anyone there?" I moved my fingers so fast it took me 2 attempts to get the right button to cut him off. Phew! That was a close one! Everyone else thought this was funny except me. I was still shocked! I can't believe I agreed. I stared hard at Alice. She looked sweetly back at me.

"What? You wanted more revenge and I gave you the chance for that to happen. You should be thanking me really!" She looked almost proud.

"One problem," I said sitting up, "I don't have a clue what to do." Rosalie lent forward.

"That's where we come in. Who's up for a night at the flicks?" An evil smile spread across her face. I trusted that smile. It meant she had a plan.

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**Thanks for all the reviews I've got so far! 70 !! By the way I have actually screamed before when my mobile vibrated in my pocket. Sad I know and I scared everyone in the room witless. But I can't be the only one, can I? Maybe. Anyway, I need your help again (sorry). What's going to happen to Mike at the pictures? Any ideas welcome. Don't even have to be ideas. Thoughts, feelings, random comments, anything. Will update as soon as I thnk of a good storyline. Hopefully soon. Got some thinking to do now. Hmmmmmm :s xx**


	21. Chapter 21

**_Disclaimer:_ **I do not own _twilight_ or any of the characters. =*( I'll just have to get my little sister to steal them for me. mwaa ha ha ha !_

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_BPOV_

Rosalie and Alice took this as another chance to make me up. So I was whisked away again to play dress up. I sighed but went along with it. I did try to resist but it didn't work. I came down the stairs about half an hour later smelling of perfume and wearing a short denim skirt (too short for my liking), a pink t-shirt that said 'Make Love Not War' and a cropped denim jacket. Rosalie had listened to my whining about heels so had found me some pink converses. At least I would be able to walk in these. My hair hung in loose curls around my face and my face had been attacked with make-up. The overall effect however was stunning if I do say so myself. I wasn't too happy about the skirt. I felt like it was too revealing. I was told not to worry and to stop pulling it down.

We climbed into my truck. If I had to go dressed like this then the least they could let me do is drive my own car. Edward wasn't best pleased but he rode with me anyway. We had already discussed the plan of action and I knew exactly what I was supposed to do. I pulled up just around the corner from the cinema and Edward climbed out. "See you in a minute okay. And don't let him touch you. Don't even let him look at you for too long. Promise?" He said to me looking through the window by my side.

"You have nothing to worry about. I'm actually dreading this. Remind Alice that she owes me big time for going through with this. Be quick. I don't want to be left alone with Mike for any amount of time." I leaned forwards and kissed him. He pulled away first.

"Mike's waiting for you. Go on. We'll be there in a second." Edward whispered in my ear. I lent forwards and pecked him on the cheek before driving the short distance between me and Mike. I saw him stood by the entrance. He waved at me. I pulled into a parking space and got out. Before I knew it Mike was at my side.

"Wow Bella, you look great tonight." He said as he looked me up and down.

"Thanks" I mumbled walking towards the front doors. Mike kept talking to me but I just ignored him and carried on walking occasionally nodding or making some sort of approving noise to make it seem that I was listening.

"Hi can we have two tickets to Revenge please." I asked the guy behind the counter.

"Isn't that meant to be like really scary?" Mike piped up from my side.

"Well I like scary films. They're good for cuddling up when you get scared. But if it's too scary for you then we could see something else." I asked politely hoping he'd say no. If he did then I'd have to find a way to tell everyone that we were in a different film.

"No it's not too scary. Nothing's too scary for me." Phew.

"Fabulous." I said as I got the tickets and walked to the concession stand. I got some popcorn which Mike offered to pay for. Then we walked to screen 3 where the film was playing. We found seats and sat watching the adverts. Mike was still talking and I was still pretending to listen. Finally when the lights went down he actually shut up. He also did 'the move' on me. You know the one where you pretend to yawn then put your arm around the other person's shoulders. So lame. After an uncomfortable 5 minutes of me trying to casually move away from Mike's arm the cavalry arrived. And not a minute too soon. First through the door was Edward. Thank God for that. I waved at him and Mike's arm moved away from me so fast that I actually felt a breeze. He looked really disappointed. He thought it would just be me and him. Fat chance. Edward took the seat next to me and then after that the rest of the Cullen's, minus Carlisle and Esme, sat next to him. Let the fun begin.

I moved as far away from Mike as possible and into Edwards's arms. I was barely paying attention to the film. I was getting cozy with Edward much to Mike's disgust. He soon looked away from me and concentrated on the screen. Then this scene played about this man who was torturing this girl for a reason I didn't know. I stage whispered to Edward making it loud enough for Mike to hear. "Edward. I'm scared."

Edward wrapped his arms tighter around me and said, "It's okay Bella, I'll protect you. I won't let that nasty man get you." He then started whispering in my ear. He wasn't actually saying much but his breath kept tickling my ear so I started to giggle.

"We can't! Not now. What? Okay then." I said. Mike looked over. He looked dreadful. His eyes were wide, his face was pale and he had a look of terror on his face. "Oh Mike! Are you all right?" I asked generally concerned. I mean I didn't like him but he looked really scared. He nodded but it didn't convince me. "Me and Edward are going to get a drink. Do you want anything?"

"No thanks. I'm fine." Mike answered feebly. I stood up and led Edward out of the room by his hand. Once we were in the lobby, we made our way to the disabled toilets. Now came the task of making me look as if we had been doing more than just getting drinks. I ran my fingers through my hair so it looked messy and wild. I looked at Edward and smiled. I unbuttoned his shirt and did the buttons up wrong; I played with his hair as I did with mine then I smudged lipstick around his mouth. "How do I look?" I asked. I turned around on the spot and did a little curtsy.

"Very good. Now what about me?" He copied my little spin from before.

"Perfect. Lets go and show Mike." We walked back to our seats with big smiles plastered on our faces. Everyone looked at us. I tried not to notice. We sat down and smiled a triumphant smile spread across my face. It had had the desired effect on Mike. He just stared at us. "Oh honey, your shirt is done up wrong." I pointed out.

"Now how did that happen I wonder? I'll be back in a second. Just let me sort this out." Edward got up and left again. I turned to Mike.

"So? What happened when I was away?"

"Well, nearly everyone is dead now. Except Mandy and her little sister."

"Is it scary?" I teased.

"No. Not really." He said his voice breaking slightly.

That was all I heard from him for the rest of the film. We all walked towards the parking lot. "Thanks for tonight. I've had so much fun. You want to do it again sometime? How about tomorrow?" I asked Mike. He still didn't look so good.

"No. I'm busy tomorrow."

"The next day?"

"Well I'm pretty busy for a while. I'll call you when I'm free. Okay?" Well at least he hadn't said yes. I agreed then got into my truck and drove off.

Later, once everyone had arrived back at the house again, we all sat around discussing the film that I didn't actually watch when my mobile rang again. I didn't scream like last time, which is always a good thing. I didn't look at who was calling I just answered it.

"Hello?"

"Hi Bella. It's Mike." Again? What did he want this time.

"Oh hey Mike. What's up?" I asked.

"Bella, I wanted to tell you tonight but I couldn't do it to your face." Calls that start like that are never good.

"Okay. Well, what is it?"

"Bella, I think you have a problem. Well, not just you. It's Edward as well. I don't know how to put this." He paused searching for the right words. " You both have a problem that can be easily solved. You just need some help. And it's nothing to be ashamed of. We all need help from time to time. Some things are just too hard to do alone. And I class myself as a friend of yours so I want to give you as much help and support as I can. It won't be an easy thing to do but I'm sure that you will be able to overcome your difficulties. I won't tell anyone about this, so don't worry. It will be totally confidential. I'll send someone around to the Cullen's house tomorrow morning. They will get the ball rolling and before you know it you won't have a problem anymore."

"Mike, not to be rude or anything but what the hell are you talking about? I don't have a problem with anything. What do you mean?" I was so confused right now. The only thing I have a problem with is him.

"Bella, the first step to solving a problem like yours is to admit you have one. Anyway, I'll send someone over tomorrow morning. Think about it Bella. I just want to help." And then he hung up on me. I stared open mouthed at the phone in my hand as if it could explain everything. I guess I would just have to wait for tomorrow morning.

I climbed into the bed in Edwards room later that night. I felt Edwards cold body pressed against mine. "Good-night Bella. Sweet dreams." Edward spoke in a calm and soothing manner. I soon forgot all about tonight and the phone call from Mike. I lay in bed thinking how perfectly happy I was feeling now. The last thing I remember before drifting off was my lullaby being hummed by my own personal angel.

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**That was a long chapter ! ^_^ Hope you like you to _alicefan98_ who helped me with this chapter. Got an idea for the next chapter still working on it though. Hope to update soon! XX**


	22. Chapter 22

**_Disclaimer:_** I do not own _twilight_ or any of the characters in it. Stop bringing it up okay it's a sore spot. :( :D_

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_BPOV_

I woke up this morning and the first thing I noticed was that it was raining. Typical of Forks. I mean what did I expect? Blinding sunlight? Highly unlikely. I sat up and stared across the room. Edward was sat on a chair in the corner of the room reading a book. When he saw I was awake he moved at vampire speed to sit next to me. I was still kind of dopey with sleep so I jumped a little when he appeared next to me. He chuckled to himself. "Good-morning sleeping beauty." I groaned. I was not sleeping beauty. My hair was tangled, my stomach was making funny sounds again and I really needed to clean my teeth. I squinted around to find the clock.

"What time is it?" I asked in a quiet voice, rubbing my eyes. It felt late.

"It's only 9 o'clock. Did you sleep well?" Edward asked seeming generally concerned. "You were talking in your sleep again." I groaned again and covered my head with one of the pillows. He chuckled again. "It really wasn't that bad." I shot him a look that said 'don't-lie-to-me'.

"If it wasn't that bad, what did I say then?" I inquired.

"Well you didn't actually speak. It was a kind of slurred babbling thing. You sounded like you were possessed. It was actually quite funny." I put my head back under the pillow. I heard a knock on the door. "Come in." Edward said trying to coax me out from my hiding place.

"Morning Bella!" I heard Alice's perky voice. "I brought you some breakfast." My stomach had decided that shame or no shame I had to eat. I looked at the tray Alice was holding. There was a glass of orange juice, 2 slices of toast and a tiny vase with a single rose inside it.

"Alice?" I asked munching on my toast. "Did you actually make some toast without burning it?"

"Well, not really. Esme helped a little. Okay Esme helped a lot. But I totally put the jam on." She insisted with her bright smile still in place.

"I knew it was too good to be true. Thank you Esme!" I called downstairs.

"It's all right Bella." Came from downstairs. I smiled and finished my breakfast with Alice and Edward still watching me. It never ceased to amaze them just watching me eat. That thing about simple things for simple minds does so not apply to them. Maybe for Emmett. But not Edward. As soon as I had slid the last bit of toast in my mouth Alice had the tray in her hands again.

"You need to be ready in half an hour. Someone is coming to pay you a visit." She winked at me as if there was some joke that I wasn't getting. "And if you want help choosing what to wear then I'll be downstairs." I shuddered. No thank you. Edward got up from his place at my side and walked towards the door.

"I'll let you get dressed now. I moved your bag under the bed." He pointed as he shut the door. I stretched my arms and stood up. I rummaged around my bag for something to wear. I pulled out a pair of jeans and a purple t-shirt. Alice would hate it. Too plain. But perfect for me. So I dressed myself, cleaned my teeth and went downstairs. In the lounge Emmett was already fighting over the TV remote with Alice. From what I gathered Emmett wanted to watch Scooby-doo and Alice wanted to watch anything but Scooby-doo. I took a seat next to Edward on the couch that was furthest away from the fight.

"If you're going to fight over the television then turn it off!" Esme called from another room.

"Fine then watch your stupid cartoon. I'm mature enough to walk away." Alice said and gave a dignified smile to Emmett.

"Scooby-doo is so not stupid. Jasper likes it, don't you Jazzy?" Everyone looked at Jasper waiting for his reply.

"Well it is kind of cool." Was all he said before staring at the screen again. And then it happened. The doorbell rang. The mysterious visitor. My 'help' whatever that meant. Before anyone could get up to answer it we heard Esme greeting someone. A man. She showed him into the room where we were all gathered. He was about 40-ish and was definitely going bald. He had a round stomach and a scary looking briefcase.

"Kids this is Mr. Harrison. He wants to talk to Bella and Edward." Esme graciously took his coat and pointed out me and Edward. I smiled but still felt a bit anxious. Why was this weird man giving me a sympathetic look?

"Hello there. I'm Mr. Harrison your mother just said. But you can call me Toby if it makes you feel more comfortable." He said as he shook Edwards hand. He reached out to shake mine so I gingerly put my hand forward and watched as it was pumped up and down. "I would like to talk to you alone if that's all right with you?"

"Whatever you say to them you can say in front of us. Right Bella?" I saw Alice grinning in the background. Everyone was grinning except me and Edward.

"Errrm. Sure. Why not." I replied, answering Alice's question.

"Is that all right with you Edward?" Toby asked. Edward nodded and pulled me closer to him. "Okay then. We can start. I don't usually do house calls but my nephew asked me if I could come over here and talk to his friends. Mike has told me that you two are having some problems dealing appropriately with the feelings you have for one another." Toby declared as he took a seat next to me. This was probably one of Mike's schemes to break me and Edward up. Tell his marriage councillor of an uncle that we were in a troubled relationship. Well at least I thought he was a marriage councillor.

"There's no problem. We have no problem. We're perfectly happy." I said taking Edwards hand in mine. Jasper, Alice, Emmett and Rose looked as if they were going to burst into laughter at any second. What was so funny?

"Listen, Bella, it's okay to admit you have a problem. We're not here to judge or criticize. We are here to try and sort the problem out or come up with some agreements that will make your problem more manageable." He was using an annoying voice that you would use to talk to a psychologist who was talking to a crazy person.

"You keep saying problem. What problem do we have exactly?" Edward sounded pretty fed up too.

"You Edward and you Bella are both sex addicts. It's okay to deny it but you will both have to get used to the idea. It's true. But with my help, you will soon no longer be that way." My mouth hung open. Sex addicts? As in addicted to sex? Me? And Edward? This was so wrong. Then Rosalie chirped in.

"Don't try to deny it Bella. You know it's true. We could all hear you last night. In the shower, in your bed, against the wall, in Edwards car. You are even doing it in public places now. You were doing the dirty in the restrooms at the cinema. You need to take control. And as a girl who grew up knowing that you need to be married before the act of love making, because it is sacred and beautiful and not to be taken so light heartedly, I say that you should get help while you can." Okay she was just showing off now in front of '_Toby_'. Purleese. Like she was Miss Innocent-Little-Perfect-Angel all of a sudden anyway. Toby was looking at Rosalie with an approving smile. She smiled back. I could kill her right now. Edward had heard enough and decided to take matters into his own hands.

"Mr. Harrison. Toby. You're right. We do have a problem and I feel like I can now admit it. It feels really great to say it out loud for once. But I'm sure you can see my point of view. I don't feel comfortable talking to you about this because of your close relations with Mike. Don't you agree Bella?" He asked me. I nodded my head.

"Oh absolutely. I mean I would like to get some help because you're right. I, I mean we, have a problem. We are addicts. And it needs to stop. But if we carried on these sessions with you I think it may send me back the other way. Maybe if you could recommend some phone numbers of a few other people who could help us. We would be forever grateful." I said placing my hand on my heart to show I meant it.

"Goodness, we wouldn't want you to recede now. I'll right down some phone numbers if you promise to call one of them." Toby said reaching into his briefcase for some paper and a pen. He scribbled something illegible on an envelope before he handed it to us.

"Oh we promise." Edward said crossing his fingers behind his back. I giggled when I saw it. But put my serious face back on as soon as Mr. Harrison looked at me.

"I hope you will come and see me when you feel you are totally recovered from this. I like to see how my patients have come along." Toby said shutting his briefcase as he stood up. We agreed and showed him to the door. As soon as he was in his car Edward ran into the lounge and rugby tackled Rosalie. She fell on the floor but managed to push him off, much to my surprise.

"Edward! Now you're starting on me and right in front of your girlfriend. You really do need help." I heard Edward growl. "Fine then I'm sorry! Is that what you want to hear?"

"Yes it is as a matter of fact." Edward said calmly as he retrieved me from the doorway and sat me down again.

"Bella, you missed the best water fight last night. We all went into the woods and got soaked. Those water balloons are the best. They hold so much water." Emmett told me kind of randomly.

"Emmett, you do know that the water balloons are actually called condoms and they hold so much water because they were XXL?" Alice questioned.

"I totally knew that." Emmett replied sounding as if he knew what he was talking about, but we knew he didn't.

"So, one question left. What are we going to do to Mike now?" Jasper asked with a smile on his face. Let the plotting begin!

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**Don't you just love it. Now I will have to come up with more ideas to bully Mike. *sigh* Such a hard life. And this is officially the most writing I have ever done for this story in one day. 2 chapters in one day. New record for me. Keep reviewing because it makes me happy to know you're honest oppinions about my story. Thanks :)**


	23. Chapter 23

**_Disclaimer: _**I do not own _twilight _or any of the characters. I can just play with them until teatime :D_

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_BPOV_

We sat around plotting for about an hour and came up with loads of ideas. Sadly, most of them ended in Mike dieing or being crippled for life one way or another. And as much fun as that seemed we could get into serious trouble from some people. I mean we had a maths test next week that we were told we couldn't miss and my maths teacher is pretty scary! But at last through sheer determination and teamwork we came up with a plan.

The only safe plan we could come up with was another prank phone call. But this was a phone call like no other. This one would guarantee to make Mike look like a fool. All the Cullen's were getting involved with this. But first we would need some props. Jasper and Emmett were sent out to get some glass cups, spare plates and a packet of chocolate biscuits. Okay the biscuits weren't props but I was hungry. While they were gone I had to work on my screaming and my using an angry voice. Apparently, I was no good at either. I just wasn't an angry person. Rosalie was persuaded into giving me lessons. And surprisingly she was good. After about 10 minutes I had nailed the angry voice. But screaming? I wasn't so good at that still. The boys returned from the shops and set up the area whilst I sat beside Edward on the stairs eating chocolate digestives. Everything was moved out of the room except a plastic table that was covered in plates and cups. The scene was set. Everyone had been briefed on what to do and when to do it. This would either go really wrong or perfectly right. I dialled Mike's number and crossed my fingers whilst I waited for him to answer.

"Hello? Bella? Is that you?" Mike's voice spoke first.

"Mike. Yes it's me. I've got a favour to ask. Feel free to say no. I want to spend a few days at your house. I mean I could ask Angela but …" I trailed off. I ran up stairs to Edward's room and got my bag from underneath the bed.

"Of course you can come round. Anytime Bella. Why? Is there a problem with you and Edward?" He asked almost timidly. I unzipped the bag and rustled my clothes around.

"Well, you know you sent you're uncle around this morning. It really made me think. I don't want to be this way. So I refused to, erm, you know, with Edward because I wanted to change. But he didn't want me to. He just wanted sex. We started arguing really badly and he started getting violent. He's just gone out but he'll be back soon though." I looked over my shoulder to Alice who was stood in the doorway. Emmett, Jasper and Rosalie were trying to get a look in as well. That would make it harder knowing that they were watching.

Just then the front door slammed. Then Edward roared up stairs, "Bella! Get you're butt down here right now! You know what I want and I won't wait. Hurry up now. You don't want me to force you. Come on woman!" Even I was slightly scared by the ferociousness in his voice. I had never heard him like this before.

"Please don't hang up. Mike I'm scared." I almost sobbed down the line. "He's changed. He used to love me. Now all I am to him is a … I don't even know." I sniffed. I picked up my bag and stumbled downstairs.

"Don't worry Bella. I'll stay on the phone until you are here with me."

"Thank you." I whispered, a satisfactory smile spread across my face.

"There you are. Why have you got a bag in your hands? Not planning on going anywhere are you. You still have a job to do." Edward smiled and stuck his tongue out playfully at me.

"Don't touch me." I mumbled. "I'm going to stay with someone else for a while. Someone who won't abuse me like this."

"What's the problem pumpkin? You liked it rough before." Edward stood behind the table of breakable items, toying with a plate.

"I don't love you anymore. You are aggressive, threatening and violent. You can't stop yourself. I deserve better than this Edward Cullen and so do you. You can't keep doing this to yourself and to others. So I'm leaving. I don't know if I'll ever be back. If you can control yourself then maybe, in the future, but not now." I said with my new found courage. It wasn't quite angry voice but still. Edward threw the first plate on the floor. It smashed on the wooden floor with an almighty, well, smash really. I gasped at the sudden noise. He smashed another plate and then another.

"You will never leave me. Never. You hear me. YOU ARE MINE!" He threw another glass and then tipped the whole table over. Thank God Esme and Carlisle were warned about the noise. The crash sounded throughout the entire house.

"Stop it. Edward! Get off me! Please! Leave me alone!" I said struggling against Emmett who had grabbed me from behind. "Please, your hurting me!" Mike had gone totally silent. All I could hear was the occasional gasp of shock or fear.

"I will get my way. Whether you are dead or alive." Edward said softly before smashing the last glass over his knee. At the same time Alice pinched me really hard so I screamed in pain. That was my cue to stay quiet. My bag dropped to the floor and I breathed my 'last' breath before taking the phone away from my ear.

I could hear Mike frantically shouting on the other end. "Bella? Bella? Can you hear me? Bella, what did he do to you?" Edward took the mobile from my hand and put it to his ear.

"I don't know who you are but I swear I will make it my new goal in life. Because you are the only witness. You hear me? I will hunt you down and kill you if word gets out about this. Got it? Good." Edward snarled. The call was over and we could all finally breathe a sigh of relief. Alice started bouncing around.

"That went perfect. He totally believed it! He's calling the cops on us!" It wasn't often you heard that sentence spoke with such glee and excitement. We had 5 minutes to clean up the house before the boys in blue were round here. I was told to sit this one out because cleaning up glass was too dangerous for me. I wasn't complaining. I stood in the same spot watching everyone busying themselves around me. Once all traces of what had been happening for the last half an hour had been removed from the house we sat down in the lounge again just in time to watch the police cars coming up the driveway. There was sirens and flashing lights. The whole caboodle. Edward widened his eyes at me. "Showtime", he said as he got up to answer the door.

I heard accusations flying as he opened the door to a face full of trouble. He stayed calm and simply showed them into the sitting room where myself and everyone else was sat around discussing what to watch later at the cinema. Then came the struggle to prove that I was in fact Isabella Swan and that no I wasn't dead. Carlisle was called downstairs to prove who I was. I had to get my drivers licence to finally put it to an end. Everyone was in agreement; I was not dead! We apologised to the officers and showed them the way out. I don't think that could have gone any better. So there was a round of high fives, hugs and congratulations. But Esme interrupted our little party. "Why did the police think Bella was dead and why are there pieces of glass in the other room?" Good question. But how to answer it…?

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**That was actually quite dificult to think of something to do to Mike this time. Hope you liked it all the same :D Thanks for the reviews and keep them coming please! Also I have another idea for a story. It's on my profile page. Check it out and tell me what you think about it. Pretty please *insert puppy dog face here*. Update soon XX :) :) :)**


	24. Chapter 24

**_Disclaimer: _**I don't own _twilight _or any of the characters. I do in my dreams though. :D_

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_BPOV_

It took a while to explain in the most delicate way possible what had happened. We prepared ourselves for a major telling off. Because we had been telling lies, because we had got the police involved and because we had smashed things all over the house. But to all of our surprise Esme just laughed. No one moved in case she was only joking. But it appeared to be genuine laughter that was coming from her mouth. "I sure wouldn't like to cross you like poor Mike did. But seriously I think you should go and tell him that this was all a joke otherwise he might not sleep for weeks thanks to Edwards threats. Okay?" A chorus of "Yes mom" and "sorry mom" answered her. Esme smiled and bent down to clear up the glass we had missed in our hasty clean up.

"Does anyone actually know where Mike actually live?" I asked as we walked towards the garage. Apparently everyone knew except me. And Alice and Edward were sharing a secret joke between them. So the girls climbed into Rosalie's BMW and the guys climbed into Edwards Volvo, Alice's idea not mine, before we drove to the Newton's house. As we parked up across the road I saw Edward stood at the door flanked by Emmett and Jasper. Mike opened the door but shut it screaming. I couldn't help laughing at that. Edward turned around to us and shrugged. I laughed even more. I know it was kind wrong but it was funny. The boys walked towards our car with evil grins spread across their faces.

"That was cruel." I said as I wiped a tear from my eye.

"Well, technically, we didn't do anything. If you think you can do a better job be my guest." Jasper motioned towards the front door. I nodded, rising to the challenge. When I reached the door after a slow and thoughtful walk over, I pushed the doorbell and stood back waiting for an answer. I had been thinking about how I would be able to explain what had happened without telling Mike that we had been playing a mean joke on him. I'm sure something would come to me. I was about to give up and walk away when Mike's mom opened the door widely and greeted me with a welcoming smile.

"Why hello Bella. I haven't seen you in quite a while. How are you?"

"Hi Mrs. Newton. I'm great thanks, how are you?" I replied politely.

"Great. I expect you're here to see my son. He ran to his room screaming a few minutes ago. Maybe you could help him?" She asked hopefully. I nodded as she led me through.

I knocked gingerly on Mike's bedroom door. "Hello?" I asked in a cautious voice. "Mike? Can I come in?" I walked in before he could answer me. I found him sat on his bed in the foetal position. This looked like a bad time. I walked closer hoping to see some signs of life. "Mike? Are you okay?" His head snapped up at the sound of my voice.

"OH MY GOD! IT'S A GHOST!" he screamed and dived under the covers. I rolled my eyes. This was going to take a while. I sat next to the lump in the duvet and patted it awkwardly.

"Erm, Mike? I'm not a ghost. I'm real. You can come out, you know, I won't hurt you." Slowly a head emerged from the sheets.

"You're dead though. So you're either a ghost or a zombie. You're not a zombie are you?" he asked readying himself for hiding under the covers again.

"No, Mike! I'm not a zombie. I'm not a ghost either. I'm not dead and I want to talk to you so please come out." I asked trying to be patient. It seemed to work because Mike climbed out of the duvet altogether and sat on top of it like me.

"Naturally. I knew that. But can I just …" He trailed off with his arm extended in my direction.

I sighed. "Sure. Poke me as much as you want." I said spreading my arms. He jabbed me several times in my stomach. "Okay that's enough." My voice came out slightly sharper than I had meant it. "Okay so we're all human in this room. Got it?" I caught a flash of movement from outside the window. Edward was perched on a tree branch directly outside the window. He waved to me.

" What are you looking at?" Mike turned his head to look outside. I quickly put my hand on his cheek and pushed away from Edward. "Sorry. You wanted to tell me something?" he carried on, slightly embarrassed at my touch.

"Yeah, about that. I'm sorry about that whole 'drama' before." I said drawing imaginary quotation marks in the air. "But… but… We were rehearsing."

"For what?" Mike asked earnestly, obviously wanting a reason as to why he had been cowering in his bed like a fool. For what indeed.

"For this competition." I sighed inwardly. "A radio competition. You have to create a story then act it out so it's just like a radio show. I wanted to show you first because I value your opinion. Did you like it?" Edward was laughing at me through the window. I frowned at him. Luckily Mike didn't notice.

"It was really believable. But it didn't fool me. I was playing along before." Mike grinned at me nervously.

"Uh-hu. So, we're really sorry if we caused you any problems. I wanted to contact you sooner but I ran out of credit." I grinned back.

"No problems. Anything else?"

"Oh. We also wanted to thank you for sending your uncle around. We are totally cured now. No need for further sessions." I hoped he got the message. No more butting in.

"After one session? That's great Bella. Really Great." He leaned forwards for a hug but I stood up quickly.

"I have to go now. Bye!" I said stiffly before darting out the house back to the cars. Everyone was laughing at the fact that I was nearly hugged by Mike Newton. I smiled sarcastically and got back in the car. "Can we go now? I'm hungry." I put on my seatbelt and folded my arms.

"Of course." Rosalie let one more giggle slip before starting the engine. We drove in silence all the way home. When we got home I had a surprise for them.

Stood on the steps of the house I announced, "I know what you can do to make it up to me."

Everyone's eyes looked at me. I put my hands on my hips. "You're going to have a little competition." I surveyed the faces below me.

I heard Emmett's voice. "Bring it on. I can win you all. What's the contest?"

"A cooking contest. You each have to make me lunch. I will eat the best one and the looser will eat their own dish." I was pushing it now, I knew. But it felt good.

There was a handful of moans and mutterings but they were quickly silenced.

"You have one hour. Go!" I declared as everyone raced past me into the kitchen. Cupboards were opened and rooted through and the fridge was searched thoroughly but there was still no sign of food. Before I knew it everyone except Edward had pushed me past. The sound of car engines rumbled as everyone raced off to the nearest supermarket.

"Care to join me?" Edward offered me his arm. I took it gratefully but warned him.

"Edward, I am the judge so I can't help you with anything."

"I know. I just don't want to leave you here alone."

"I won't be alone. Esme and Carlisle are upstairs." I replied.

"Yeah. They're … erm … busy. You don't want to know." Edward finally said.

"I'm all yours." I clung to Edward's arm as he led me to his car. This would be one of the most entertaining hours of my life. That I was sure of.

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**Hiya guys! What did you think of this chapter? Please review and let me know! What could happen in the next chapter? Who will mess up and how? I want to know. Also if you haven't already then check out my new idea on my profile. Scroll right to the bottom and there it is. Ta-Da !! Please let me know what you think because I've not had much response! Thanks :) :) XX**


	25. Chapter 25

**_Disclaimer :_** I do not own _twilight_ or any of the characters. Although what I wouldn't give to own Edward Cullen!! *Sigh*_

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_BPOV_

Everyone returned to Wal-Mart for the second time today. There was pushing and shoving as the Cullen's got out of their cars and raced each other to the front doors. Everyone had tuned into savages except Edward. He opened my door and helped me out.

The automatic doors rolled open before us. Not 2 seconds in the door and Emmett was in my face.

"Bella, How many eggs do you need to make a cake?" He asked frantically.

"She can't tell you dumb ass." Jasper shouted as he ran away with a shopping cart. I shrugged my shoulders and pulled smiled apologetically at him.

"Great. I'll just make something else then!" Emmett called as he bounded off into the distance. I turned to face Edward.

"So what are you going to make me?" I asked coyly. He smiled my favourite crooked smile and tapped the side of his nose.

"I don't believe I can tell you. You'll just have to wait and find out." He picked up a basket and towed me around the aisles.

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_APOV_

Okay. Okay. So what can I make that is simple, easy and only used a few ingredients? I'm useless at human cooking. It's totally pointless. I mean I'm a vampire for Gods sake. Why would I want or need to know how to make food. Oooo. What are these here? Smoothies? Do they count as food? I could make one of them with that blender in the cupboard under the sink. What are the ingredients? Strawberries, banana, raspberries and yoghurt. Sounds good to me. Better get something for backup though in case it ends up going wrong. I can't believe I didn't see this coming!

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_RPOV_

I don't see why we have to cook for her. I mean she can do it herself right? But I still want to win. Okay. Lunch usually means sandwiches so I'll make one of them. What do I put in it though? Let's see. Cheese, chicken and peanut butter? Tuna and pickle? What will go well together? I'll get some of each and decide later. Now for the bread.

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_JPOV_

Think Jasper think. You've watched one of those cooking shows before. They made beef, potatoes and vegetables. I'll make that then. But how did they cook it? Did they cook it? I can't remember. I was fighting with Emmett over who was better Lord Voldemort or Darth Vader. Damn! I'll figure that out later. Just find the stuff and get home so I can get the best place in the kitchen.

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_EmPOV_

I know what to make. It will be cheating. Well, no one will know. I'll just be extra careful around Alice and Edward and then I should be fine. I saw Bella eating a pot noodle the other day. I watched her make it as well. All you needed to do was add water. Great! I am so going to beat Jasper. Serves him right for calling me a dumb ass. Fool proof.

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_EdPOV_

I remember reading a cookbook in Bella's room once. It was the same night that she was sleep talking about the flying shoe and the evil unicorns. That was funny. I never told her about it though. It would embarrass her too much. And I love her far too much to do anything like that to her. I don't want to upset her. Anyway, I think I could make an omelette. It looked easy enough in the book. So I'll need eggs, cheese, tomatoes and cooking oil. It doesn't take long to make either so I won't have to leave Bella for long. Perfect!

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_BPOV_

While everyone was hurrying around the store, me and Edward were taking our time. He didn't seem to be in any hurry. I think we were finished before everyone else as well because all their cars still were in the parking lot. We drove back to the Cullen's house but on the way Emmett overtook us at high speed and sped off. I was slightly scared but Edward just laughed and said that Emmett didn't want anyone to see what he was making.

10 minutes later the kitchen was full of busy workers. Everyone was looking for the equipment so there was chaos everywhere. There was actually an argument over who saw the frying pan first. I just stood back and observed with increasing amusement. Emmett was finished surprisingly quickly. He must have got here early or else he didn't have to do much. Whatever he made was trapped between 2 plates. It smelled good. This was so unlike Emmett. He walked past me and placed his dish on the table behind me. I looked at my watch. "15 minutes left!" I shouted. Edward whizzed past me and put his plates on the table as well. They were all covering their creations. That made me even more anxious.

"AAAAAAAAAAA" Alice squealed from somewhere in the room. I spun my head around to see what had happened. I couldn't help but laugh. She hadn't put the lid on the blender so there was blended fruit everywhere including all over Alice and Rose as well. Rosalie looked ferociously at her 'sister'. I was scared for Alice. But instead of throttling her, Rosalie just wiped a piece of kitchen roll across her face and said.

"You are so lucky that your weird pink liquid didn't touch my food. Or you'd have been dead." And then she carried on working! Wow. This meant more to her than I expected. Jasper put something in the microwave. Alice forgot about the mess and reached into her shopping bag and started working extra fast.

"Time's up!" I called and took my seat at the judge's table. I smiled as the last entries were added to the group of plates in front of me. "Who's first?" I asked leaning forwards. Rosalie lifted her top plate up. There were 2 sandwiches led on a bed of lettuce. I picked the top one and sniffed it. Something didn't smell right. I took a bite but soon wished I hadn't. "What did you put on them?" I asked forcing the mouthful down. I quickly washed the taste away with some water.

"Well on the top one it is tuna and pickle and the bottom one is cheese, chicken and peanut butter. I couldn't decide which one to make so I made both." She smiled sweetly at me. I can't believe I swallowed that! I smiled back.

"Well it's certainly different. And I can honestly say that I've never had anything like it in my life." I tried to think of something nice to say. That was the best I could come up with. Rose carried on smiling so I guess I hadn't offended her. "Next?" I asked cautiously. Jasper revealed his meal. It was like a Sunday roast except it wasn't roasted. In fact it wasn't even cooked. There was blood dripping from the meat; the potatoes were whole and raw and the carrots still had the green leaves on top. "Jasper." I said trying to think what to say. "I hope you won't be offended when I say this but I can't eat this." I looked apologetically at him as I spoke.

"Why not?" He asked almost sounding defeated. I didn't want to tell him but I had to.

"Because it's not cooked. If I eat this then you will have to deal with one very sick human for a few days. Sorry!" And I generally was.

"It's okay!" He bounced back. "I can tell that you really feel bad. I don't mind. Anyway, I will not be clearing up piles of puke if you get ill so don't eat it." I giggled and he smiled.

"Thanks." I grinned. "Next?" Alice put a bowl in front of me that contained lots of chopped up fruit.

"I kind of gave up on the smoothie thing. I figured that this was the safer option." She chimed. I picked a grape up and popped it in my mouth.

"Well, it's edible!" I joked looking at Jasper. "It's great. Thanks Alice. Who's left?"

"Just me and Emmett." Edward said as he moved Alice's bowl aside and put his own plate in its place. There was an omelette on it with melted cheese and tomatoes on top. Yum! Well it passed the appearance test but would it pass the taste test? I cut a bit off with my knife and fork and lifted it to my mouth.

"Perfect! So good! Wouldn't change anything!" I beamed at Edward stood next to me.

"Okay so you've had the rest now taste the best!" Emmett shoved Edwards food to a side and pushed his plate in front of me. Noodles. They looked like the ones I had the other night. I tried one, sucking it into my mouth.

"Emmett?" I questioned. "This tastes familiar. In fact this tastes exactly like the pot noodle I ate the other day." Everyone gave him a quizzical look. Emmett looked around warily before shouting, "Busted" and running upstairs.

"Disqualified!" I shouted after him. "And the winner is Edward!" I said clapping. No-one joined in except Edward himself. "What?" I asked.

"That's favouritism. That shouldn't be allowed. Just because he's your boyfriend." Rosalie was accusing me of biased judging.

"You want a reason why he won other than the fact that we're dating?" I asked. "Okay then. Well, you're sandwiches were quite disgusting actually. Under no circumstances do you mix pickle and tuna. Or cheese, chicken and peanut butter for that matter. Alice only cut up some fruit and although it was nice it was very simple. As for Jasper…" I pointed to his plate on the table. "… It isn't even edible! I can't even eat it. No offence." I added.

"Non taken. Although in my defence they did call it a microwave _oven_. They should change the name to microwave that-doesn't-really-cook-like-an-oven-oven." He said back.

"Emmett was disqualified so Edward won. Okay? Is that fine with everyone? I'm not being biased or bribed in any way?" I looked around the room.

"I take it back then. Well done Edward." Rosalie smiled at him. I couldn't tell if it was genuine or not. "I'd better go and get Emmett before he does something stupid." She walked out the room.

"You think she's upset?" I asked Edward. Maybe I'd been a bit harsh. Edward snickered and so did Jasper.

"She's not upset. Just embarrassed. Nice work Bella!" Jasper said from by Alice's side. "Anyway, I'm going to go and help Alice clean up the disaster that happened before. You should eat your food before it goes cold." He nodded in the direction of the table. I listened to him and started to eat.

When I had finished I had eaten the omelette and the frit salad. I was clearing my plates away when Emmett appeared beside me. I dropped a plate but he caught it. I mumbled thanks and put the dishes in the sink for me to wash up later. "I'm sorry for cheating Bella." Emmett said in a half-hearted voice "Cheating is wrong and I know better because I am defiantly old enough to know the difference between right and wrong. But please. Don't make me eat the noodles. I don't like noodles. I can play with them but I don't want to eat them." He pleaded. I pretended to think about it for a second.

"Fine then. I'll let you off. This _one_ time. You do it again and I'll make you eat a whole pizza. Box and all." I warned." Emmett ran away back to Rosalie I guessed so I turned to do the washing up. Someone had already done it and that someone was stood behind me and picked me up so I screamed in surprise. "Edward put me down." I scolded him playfully.

"I know when I'm beaten." He said as he set my feet on the ground again. "There's still time to do something if you want?" At that moment Carlisle walked through the kitchen with a trail of people behind him.

"I'm going to the hospital for a bit. I appear to have some followers. You can come as well if you want as long as you don't cause any trouble." He picked up his car keys from the side.

"Okay!" I replied and took Edwards hand as we walked to his car. But I think that everyone knew Carlisle and all that trouble would defiantly be following us around the wards. The best he could hope for would be that at the end of this visiting session no one would end up feeling worse than when they came in.

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**I know the ending was a bit predictable but I honestly thought Edward would be the only one with a chance of winning. Sorry it's been a while since I updated but I couldn't. I literally couldn't my stupid computer wouldn't let me! Anyway, hopefully I will be able to update soon. Thanks for all the reviews I have got so far. Nearly 100!! Wow !!! :D Keep them coming. What did you think of this chapter and what do you think should happen in the hospital?? XX**


	26. Chapter 26

**_Disclaimer : _**I do not own _tiwilight_ or any of the characters. However I own my own feet !!! Yeah, feet !! :D :D :D_

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_BPOV_

We all arrived at the hospital and followed Carlisle inside. "Is there anything we can do?" Alice asked sweetly. Carlisle turned to face all of us.

"Do what you like. Visit some patients or talk to the nurses. Just don't annoy or steal anything. Yes Emmett, I mean you." Emmett adopted a look of mock surprise. "A hospital is a place of healing. Not a place where you come to get wound up by some bored teens. Okay?" We all said we would be good before Carlisle walked off.

"What do you wanna do first?" Jasper said with a hint of mischief in his eyes. Alice pondered for a second.

"Carlisle said we could go and visit people. We could go and make some new friends." She said, raising her eyebrows suggestively. I take it that when she said 'new friends' she meant lets go wind up some helpless stranger. I wasn't sure about this. I just got an image of Emmett poking this sweet old lady over and over again until she flipped. Why Emmett? I have no idea. Why an old lady? I don't know that either. But the whole scene sounded pretty believable.

Before I knew it we were in the lift. "Which floor are we going to?" Emmett asked as he stood near the buttons.

"Just pick one at random." Jasper replied leaning forwards to do it himself.

"NOOOOOOOOO!" Emmett screamed as he blocked the buttons from Jasper. "I want to press it."

Rosalie rolled her eyes. "Well, will someone just pick a floor already?" Emmett then proceeded to shut his eyes and push a random number that would be our entertainment for the next few minutes, which was, on average, Emmett's attention span.

In the end, the random selection had sent us to floor 4. We stepped out of the elevator to see rows and rows of beds. In the beds sat bored looking people. Some were reading papers or magazines of some sort and some were asleep. A nurse was stood at the end of the ward, putting fresh sheets on the beds. We walked up to her and stood in a line just behind her. She turned around after she had finished what she was doing and said rather impatiently, "What do you want." I took an involuntary step back. Someone was a little stressed today. "Sorry," she added "but I've just had a lot to do recently. I'm a bit tired."

"Oh, that's okay." Rosalie stepped forwards as she spoke "We were just wondering if you could tell us where I could find my Aunt. Which ward I mean. I've not been here before so I need a bit of help. Is that all right?" she asked in a perfectly polite voice.

The nurse looked Rosalie up and down before agreeing. "I'll do my best. I might have to phone down to reception."

"Thank-you. Her mane is Mrs. Moron. Her first name is Ayma." I covered my laughter with coughs. Jasper and Emmett were snickering whilst exchanging sideward glances, Alice was covering her mouth with her hands and Edward was chuckling to himself.

"Ayma Moron eh? Is she here for corrective hip surgery?" The nurse answered in all seriousness.

"Yes! That's right! Hip surgery. Which ward would she be on?" Rosalie kept a straight face.

"She'll be in the theatre now but will be out by 3 o'clock. She'll be in the recovery wing. Third floor take the second right after the nurses office. You can't miss it." I can't believe she hadn't noticed she had just called herself a moron!

"Thanks so much. You wouldn't happen to know where my boyfriend's best friend is? He's called Harry. Harry Butt. Emmett's very worried about him aren't you honey? He needs life threatening surgery." Rosalie lifted her right arm for Emmett to slip under. He understood and smiled at the nurse.

"The Butt's have always been close to me. I always used to slip inside when no one was looking late at night." I couldn't help but laugh at that. "Harry and me used to have secret club meetings. We did it late at night so no one knew about it. It was a secret." Emmett started sobbing into Rose's chest. He rested his head on her boobs then turned his head so he faced me and smiled ecstatically looking down on his pillow. I laughed even harder. Edward stepped in to help me.

"Harry was a good friend to us all. Bella's still in shock. She keeps laughing to keep out the feelings of depression and hurt and anger. It's either that or floods of tears. She doesn't like to let people see her cry. She'll come around. She just wants to pretend all of this isn't happening. Tonight though the waterworks will start." Edward put an arm round my shoulders and that just brought on more laughter. "That's right petal, laugh it out." He patted my head, lovingly.

"Poor dear. You'll be fine love. You hear me?" I think she was talking to me. "I don't know what to suggest. I'm sure that if you go to reception they should be able to tell you where your friend is. So sorry to hear about him." She squeezed Emmett's arm to show her sympathy. He lifted his head and sniffed a few times.

"Thank you … Nurse Riley. That means a lot to me." He said, reading her nametag, before walking towards the lift again. We all smiled gratefully at her and then joined Emmett in the lift.

The doors were about to shut when a gentleman in a suit shouted, "Hold the lift!"

"Thanks he said and reached to push a button.

"Allow me sir." Jasper piped up from behind us all. "It is after all my job. What floor will it be my good man?"

"Ground floor please." The man replied in a gruff, slightly don't-mess-with-me voice.

"Certainly sir." Jasper replied pressing the 3rd floor button.

"Excuse me. I asked for the ground floor not the 3rd one." The man said shifting his briefcase from one hand to the other.

"I know and you're going there. Don't take that tone with me sir. I simply won't tolerate it."

"No. We're going to the 3rd floor. Can you even read?" The now angry man asked.

"I can't! How did you know?" Jasper said his bottom lip trembling. Alice nudged the man who seemed a bit annoyed at the situation.

"He's a bit sensitive about it. He did learn to read but he suffers from a condition that makes him think he can't. Calcohapendimentia. You understand?" Alice said rather convincingly.

"Sorry young man. I had no idea." The lift pinged and the doors opened at the 3rd floor.

"It's okay. I don't mind. Bye!" Jasper said as he walked out of the elevator.

"What about your job?" The man called after him.

"It's my break now. See ya!" Jasper called back. Before the doors closed again he ran back and pushed every button for every floor. I burst into giggles again as the man started cursing when he realised what had happened. "And that," Jasper announced, "is how you do it!"

"There it is!" Emmett said almost mesmerised. "The nurses room. Can we go in? Please?" After some begging and a terrible rendition of 'Mary had a little lamb', We agreed to go and check it out.

I knocked on the door and waited for an answer. A pretty blonde girl answered the door. "Can I help you?"

The question was not could she help us but would she?

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**I've got 106 reviews now!! A special thanks to _alicefan98_ who was my 100th reviewer. I would give you a prize of some sort except I don't have anything to give. So here, accept this imaginary voucher for £1,000,000. Bad news is you can only spend it in my imaginary shop. In my shop however is a rather charming dragon that needs a home! Lol :D Will update soon. More trouble for the Cullen's and Bella. What is going to happen with the nurses? Any ideas?? Keep reviewing. You never know you might win the next imaginary voucher! :) XXX**


	27. Chapter 27

**_Disclaimer: _**I do not own _twilight _or any of the characters.**_

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**_Note:_**

It has been brought to my attention that the Cullen's are in a hospital and that may cause a problem for some members of the family. After all, hospitals generally have lots of blood and gore in them (especially A&E), and that would be dangerous for Jasper especially. After thinking how I could get around this problem I have decided that I think there is still a bit more chaos to cause in the hospital before they leave so I want the Cullen's and Bella there for as long as I can keep thinking of new things for them to do. Just felt like I needed to explain that to you. I take my hat off to _**Jedi McStinky**_ who actually noticed this and told me. Wait a second… I don't have a hat :( Anyway, thank you xx_

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BPOV

"Can I help you?" she repeated when we all just stood there staring.

Emmett grinned foolishly then announced like a 5 year old, "I'm wearing clean socks." The nurse just stared at him, not quite sure what to do.

"That's great." She said at last still looking unsure about the whole situation. "I'm just going to go now." And then the door was in our faces. So I knocked again.

"Yes?" The same nurse said when she saw it was us again.

"I like you. Do you like me?" Emmett carried on in his toddler voice.

"Errrm. Of course I like you but I need to …" She was interrupted.

"Will you be my friend?"

"I'd love to be your friend but I'm a bit busy …"

"You don't want to be my friend. You don't really like me. You were just pretending! Waaaaah!" Emmett stamped his feet and fake cried.

"No I do like you. I am your friend. Hey, aren't you …" the nurse was cut off again.

"You're just saying that. I hate you! Waaaaaah!"

"Errrm, hang on a second." She ducked behind the door whilst Emmett turned around to the small crowd that had gathered and stamped his feet harder and crying louder.

The door opened again and Carlisle stood in the doorframe. We stopped laughing and looked innocently at him with wide eyes. Emmett was oblivious to the fact that his 'dad' was stood right behind him. Carlisle coughed gently and Emmett turned around.

"Hi." Emmett spoke quietly.

"Hello Emmet. I do hope you're not causing trouble." Carlisle said in an authoritive voice. He gave us all questioning looks. We shook our heads like we were in some sort of weird synchronised head dance. "Good. I should hope not. Now go and play elsewhere. If I catch you doing anything like this again then you can go home. Okay?" We all nodded. Everyone seemed to afraid to talk. "Off you go then."

"Wait, Carlisle." Alice asked before he shut the door completely. "Where is the children's ward? I thought it would be a good idea that we go and play with them for a while. You know, cheer them up and all."

"Good idea Alice. First floor. Follow the signs. Should be easy enough. If you get lost then ask someone _politely and sensibly _for help. I'll come and check on you in a bit."

Back in the lift we went. The doors shut but we were alone this time. No man in a suit to annoy. Edward pushed the first floor button before coming up behind me and hugging me tightly.

"Are you okay Bella? You're kind of quiet." He kissed my cheek.

"I'm fine. Just can't believe that Emmett just got caught." I chuckled to myself at the memory. "You need to be more carefull you know. Or just know when someone is stood behind you."

"I am careful. I meant that to happen." Emmett said indignantly and gave me a soft shove. Edward growled and shoved him back a bit harder. In fact so hard that he stumbled back. The lift stopped suddenly. "Uh oh."

"Surely we're not here already." Rosalie commented.

"Of course we're not. Emmett here pushed the 'emergency stop' button. Oh well done genius. Now we're stuck in a lift." Jasper groaned.

"Nuh-uh. Edward pushed me. It was his fault." Emmett tried to defend himself.

"You pushed Bella. I was merely protecting her." Edward practically recited. "You pushed the button." There was a big argument about whose fault it was. Someone even said it was my fault. I didn't do anything!

"Listen. It's no one's fault. Well it is, but we can't keep arguing about it. Who knows how long we might be here." I added. More groans. "Check the emergency phone over there." I pointed to a red telephone in the corner.

"I'll get it." Rosalie went to try and make up for the fact that _her_ husband just locked us all in a lift for God knows how long. I sat down but before I touched the floor I felt Edwards cold legs beneath mine. So I sat on Edward and listened to the conversation between Rose and the guy on the other end of the line.

"Half an hour?! That's too long. Well can't you come and fix it. Oh for the love of God all he did was push a button. Can't you just un-push it?" Didn't sound good. "Well hurry up then. Please. If we're left in here for more than 10 minutes you'll find one of us dead." Rosalie hung up. I looked, alarmed at her. She started laughing then everyone joined in. What? Hadn't she just threatened to kill me? I should be worried. She's a vampire! "Don't worry Bella. I was thinking more Emmett getting killed. Half an hour and we will be tearing our hair out. He'll be so bored by then he will start climbing the walls." I sighed in relief.

"So. What are we going to do for half an hour?" Jasper asked.

I can't believe I am stuck in a tiny lift with 5 vampires for half an hour. This could get messy.

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**Before anyone says anything I have no idea if elevators have emergency stop buttons or red emergency phones. No I have never been stuck in a lift either so I don't know how long it would take to fix. Thank you for the reviews I've got so far! I really appreciate it. Please keep telling me what you thought about the story so far, improvements for the future or sugguestions for what will happen when they are stuck in a lift for that amount of time. Update sometime after the weekend because I'm spending friday, saturday and sunday in a caravan. Wooooo for caravans! :D :D XX**


	28. Chapter 28

**_Disclaimer: _**I do not own _twilight _or any of the characters. Or 'Green Eggs and Ham' for that matter. :)_

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_BPOV_

After 15 minutes of sitting in silence I decided we needed to find something to do. We couldn't call for help again because they said that if we did then we would be stuck in here overnight. And after what we had been saying to him I actually believed him. I was bored and my bum was numb after being sat on Edwards legs for that long. I stood up and faced everyone. But I stood up too fast and fell back down. It goes without saying that I was laughed at. I tried again. This time I made it to my feet.

"Someone has to have some idea of what to do." I looked hopefully around every ones faces. Alice looked spaced out so I guessed she was having a vision. She came out of her trance and smiled.

"In three, two, one." She said and right on cue my mobile started to ring. It was Charlie. Oh no! Had Mike told Charlie about my imaginary addiction? Or maybe that I was dead? Only one way to find out.

"Hi Dad." I said in a wary tone.

"Hello Bella. Are you okay?" he asked me in a muffled voice.

"Yes thanks. You having fun at the lake?"

"Funnily enough that's what I called about. How do you feel about me staying another day?" He didn't even need to ask. He already knew the answer.

"As long as you want to stay then I guess that's fine." I said trying not to show my excitement too much. Another night at the Cullen's. Another night with Edward. And seen as it was a Bank Holiday on Monday I had all of the day as well.

"Great. As long as you don't mind being on your own a bit longer. Well, I suppose your still at the Cullen's place aren't you?" Well, technically, I'm stuck in a lift but yes I'm still staying with the Cullen's. I couldn't say that of course but it crossed my mind.

"Yeah Dad, I'm still having one big slumber party with Alice." It was the story I told him when he left so he might as well be reassured that I wasn't spending my nights alone with Edward even though I was.

"Well say hi to her from me. Have fun Bells. See you tomorrow. And if you need me then you can always call right?"

"Sure Dad. See you tomorrow."

"Bye Bells." And then he was gone. I replaced my phone in my pocket. I looked around the lift. Alice still had that smile on her face.

"Am I missing something?" I asked. She was defiantly happy about something.

"You just told Charlie we were having a slumber party." Was the reply.

"Yes. And?" I thought she already knew all of this.

"Well, we might as well do as you told him right?" I knew where this was going.

"Oh no, Alice, please. I don't want to have a girly sleepover with you. Because that means makeovers and dress up. And you know my opinion about that." I stared at her pointedly. She pouted.

"Please Bella. We don't have to do makeovers or dress up, I promise. And Edward can come if he wants." She held my gaze and carried on pouting.

"Go on love. I'll come with you. And you don't have to anything you don't want to do." Edward said to me from his seat on the floor.

"Okay then. But no Barbie."

"Agreed!" Alice started bouncing in the corner.

"And of course Rose is coming." I smiled at her as I announced the invitation.

"I'll check my calendar." She smiled back. I knew she was in.

"This is going to be so awesome!" Alice started talking about all the things we could do tonight. I tuned out and sat back down on Edwards legs again.

Another ten minutes passed and Emmett was getting bored. He started reciting that Dr. Seuss poem thing. Green eggs and ham. It is the most annoying thing ever. Especially when as soon as he finished he started all over again.

"Do you like  
green eggs and ham

I do not like them,  
Sam-I-am.  
I do not like  
green eggs and ham." This was his third time singing it.

"Make him stop!" I put my hands to my ears and burried my head in Edwards chest.

"I know how you feel. If there wasn't a camera in the lift then I swear to God I would kill him now." Edward said as he put his hands over my hands for extra protection against the dreadfull noise.

"Would you like them  
in a house?  
Would you like them  
with a mouse?

I do not like them  
in a house.  
I do not like them  
with a mouse.  
I do not like them  
here or there.  
I do not like them  
anywhere.  
I do not like green eggs and ham.  
I do not like them, Sam-I-am."

And just like a God appearing from the heavens a fat man in overalls came through the door on the ceiling of the lift. A cheer erupted from everyone except Emmett.

"We're saved!" Jasper said taking his fingers out of his ears.

"Right Kids. Make room for a small one." He better have been being sarcastic or else this guy has seriously bad eye sight. He plodded his way across the floor and slotted a key into a slot near the button that had gotton us into this mess in the first place.

"A key? Is that all we needed?" Rosalie stood up, outraged by this simple solution to our problem. "I could have picked that with a hairpin half an hour ago!" The lift decended.

"Sorry it took so long. I was on my lunch break and I'm the only one who has a key."

The lift made a 'ping' sound and we reached the first floor at last. We all piled out of the elevator and ran away from fat freddie in the lift. I could smell exactly what he had for lunch. Egg sandwiches sounded about right. Silent but deadly. The worst kind there is.

We followed the signs to the childerens ward and when we got there it wasn't like the other wards. There was a line of beds and on the other side of the room was toys and books and beanbags and all things great to kids.

A perfect place to cause some more trouble.

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**Sorry it isn't a particulaly long or interesting chapter! Hope to update soon with more mischief from the childrens ward :) Ideas welcome as well as reviews :D More soon xx**


	29. Chapter 29

**_Disclaimer:_**I do not own _twilight _or any of the characters. :D_

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_**Review of the Day :-** 'The fatty farted' - _**_msbutterflycat_**

Just thought I'd share that with you! It made me laugh! Thanks **_msbutterflycat _**!! Lol ;) ;)

I have to say that **_starsandwings4ever_** did send me a really sweet review. Thank you soo much XX

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_BPOV_

I held Edwards hand and we broke off from the rest of the group. We went and talked to a little girl whose name was Cheryl. She was only five and was scared about going to have an operation. She was trying to act brave but got all upset and started crying. I was speechless. Sat on the side of her bed I leaned over and gave her an awkward hug. It didn't work. She carried on crying. I looked at Edward and he had a go to try and cheer her up.

"Hey Cheryl, you wanna hear joke?"

"Mmm-hmm." She wiped her eyes and sniffed. The tears were slowly stopping but not just yet.

"What's invisible and smells of banana's?" Edward asked with a kind smile on his face. The little girl shrugged her shoulders and wiped her eyes again.

"A monkey fart! Get it?" He said still smiling. I have to admit that I did laugh. I had never actually heard Edward say anything like that before. Fart! Ha!

Cheryl sniffed again and nodded her head.

"Pretty funny huh?" I said elbowing her gently in the arm.

"I've heard it before." She said. At least she wasn't crying. An improvement, right? Then Cheryl burst into laughter. I thought it was a delayed reaction to the joke but I heard Emmett's voice coming from behind me.

"Bella! Edward! Just look at this cool hat I found on the floor. Isn't it the best ever?" He was in fact wearing a blue bedpan on his head. Cheryl, Edward and myself were now in stitches. "What? What's so funny? You don't like the hat do you? Maybe that white one is more my colour." He bounded away but only for a second. He returned with another bedpan in white and held it next to the blue one on his head. "What do you recon? Blue? White? White? Blue?" He swapped the hats around as he said each colour. Cheryl was the first one to talk.

"You're funny. What's your name?"

"My name is Captain Poopy-McMacintosh-Karl-Frostie Man or Emmett to my friends." He grinned.

"I like you Frostie Man." Cheryl said in _the_ cutest voice I had ever heard. "But that's not a hat you have on your head you know."

"Is too. It fit's perfectly on my head." Emmett insisted.

"It's not! You wanna know what it is?" Cheryl trilled.

"What is it?" Emmett whispered as he lent closer.

"It's a bedpan." Cheryl laughed again. It was impossible not to join in.

"A bedpan? What's that?" Emmett was playing dumb.

"It's like a little toilet that goes under your bed. If you can't get out of bed then you, you know, pee-pee in it. Or worse, poop in it!" The giggles continued as Emmett stared disgusted at the 'little toilet' in his hands. He dropped it then batted the blue one off his head! My sides were hurting I was laughing so much. Emmett was doing a weird 'get-this-off-me' dance. He was violently scrubbing his head with a teddy bear he found on the floor.

"Ewwww! No one thought to tell me that I have been wearing a potty on my head? Do you think someone has peed in it before? Ewwwww! Or maybe even pooped!" He started scrubbing harder. I gasped for breath.

Just then Carlisle walked into the ward. He smiled genuinely at all of us. "Having fun?" He asked looking around. Alice and Jasper were playing doctors and nurses with some kids on the play mat, Rosalie was platting a girls hair on the other side of the room and Emmett was still dancing and scrubbing. "Looks like it. Cheryl, sweetie, it's time for you to go to theatre. Is that okay?"

"Yep." She said popping the 'p'. "I'm not nervous anymore. Frostie Man made laugh."

"Good. Nurse Fraser will come and get you in a minute. As for 'Frostie Man' and all of his friends, it's time to go home. Bella, Esme is cooking for you. And Emmett put those bedpans back where you found them please."

We waved goodbye to Cheryl and decided to take the stairs instead of the lift this time.

When we reached the Cullens house, Esme was stood in the kitchen reading from a cookbook. There were various pots and pans around the kitchen.

"Hello everyone! Have fun at the hospital?" Esme asked in between checking on her creations.

"I _was _having fun. Until I found out what I was wearing on my head." Emmett sounded moody. I just started laughing again.

"All right then. Bella, foods in ten minutes." Esme said before knocking over a pan. She did catch it before it touched the floor but a lot of it was spilled. It looked like spaghetti. "Shoot! Make that 15 minutes."

"Thanks Esme." I said and followed Edward to his room.

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After I had eaten my huge bowl of spaghetti, I retreated to Edwards room again. We were sat on the bed just talking and lazing about when Alice came bursting in wearing bright pink pyjamas.

"Alice? Are you wearing pyjamas?" I asked slightly confused.

"Our Slumber Party? Remember?" Alice replied.

Uh oh! I sense trouble ahead. Tonight would not be as peaceful as I thought.

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Thank you to everyone who reviewed!! If I could share them all then I would but sadly I can't :( They are however much apriciated and I love to know what you think. What would you like to see happen at the sleepover? Games, dares, truthes that are way too truthfull or just random crazy stuff. Let me know :) :) :) Update soon XX


	30. Chapter 30

**_Disclaimer:_** I do not own _twilight _or any of the characters. :)**_

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**_Note:_**

I owe an apology to _**gg123**_. I borrowed the idea about the bedpan and Emmett. Well I kinda took without permission, which is totally not the same as stealing because I gave it back. Well, I'm giving it back now. It slipped my mind as I was in kind of a rush when I last updated. So I do owe an apology. Sorry _**gg123**_. If I do anything like that again you have my permission to give me a wedgie. _

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BPOV

Fifteen minutes ago I was happily sat with Edward on his bed. Now I was now sat in the lounge with the rest of the Cullens thinking of what to do first. So far there had been the following suggestions:

Truth

Dare

Movies

Makeovers (no chance)

Dress up (equally no chance)

Strip poker (guess who suggested that one)

And water fight (same sequester)

Yes even the boys were getting in on the act. They were, and I quote, "not missing out on all the fun just because they're boys."

"Let's start with truth or dare" Alice said. I could feel this going horribly wrong already. "Bella, you first."

"Me? What did I do?" I hadn't even agreed to play yet.

"Truth or dare." Alice asked with a hint of mischief in her eyes.

"Truth." I shrugged. If I had chosen dare I would be asked to shave my eyebrows off or something like that.

"Truth. Okay then. Have you ever lied to Edward and what about?" I stared at her as though she had two heads. That was unfair.

"Errrrm. I've never lied to him." I blurted out.

"Bella, this game is called _truth _or dare, implying you have to tell the truth. And you have not just been telling the truth. I could feel all that nervous energy coming off you. Try again." Stupid Jasper and his stupid vampire stupid gifts. Everyone seemed to lean closer including Edward.

"I..I..I don't want to say." I flushed bright red just thinking about it.

"Come on Bella. It can't be that bad." Edward wanted to know I saw it in his face.

"Fine then. You know that time we were in your car and we were driving and you smelt something funny?" I stared at the carpet.

"Yes."

"I said it was something outside?"

"Yes."

"It was me. I kind of farted. I didn't want to tell you. Sorry." I could feel the heat from my cheeks. This was so embarrassing. I looked up at Edward. He had a smile on his face. He put his hands on either side of my face. He looked in my eyes held my gaze for a few seconds then broke away and started laughing.

"I'm sorry Bella. I can't help it. Was that really you? That was pretty whiffy."

"I'm a human. We stink. Anyway if I hadn't of done that I could have exploded under the pressure." Now it was my turn to laugh. Edward's expression had turned into a deadly serious, worried face. "Not really. But we do kind of stink. Now it's my turn. Jasper, Truth or Dare?"

After a short pause Jasper answered. "Dare."

"Fine. I dare you to make up a TV advert for Tampons." There. Teach him for ratting me out to Edward.

"What the hell is that?" I couldn't help but giggle.

"Fine then, you have 3 minutes research time. Go!" And like a shot Jasper was on his way to the computer. Alice excused herself from the room for a minute while she went and got the camcorder. When she returned, we heard a boy scream then Jaspers voice.

"Oh my God! They bleed from where? That's disgusting."

"Time's up Jasper. Come back." I called through the house. He came back into the room with a horrified look on his face. I giggled again. "Let's have it then." I grinned.

"Okay here it goes." Jasper took a few unnecessary breaths to calm himself. "Is it that time of the month again where you bleed from your lady parts? Want to not get blood on your knickers? Then buy these…" He walked over towards the far window, "…tampon thingies. They go somewhere I would rather not talk about and just sit there until you take them out. It's that simple to use. So buy some today. Now. Please. Thank you." Everyone in the room was in hysterics except Emmett.

"I don't get it. Who bleeds from where and why? And what is a tampon?" Jasper guided him out of the room and to the computer to show him what he had just learned.

"5…4…3…2…1…0." Rosalie pointed at the door just as another scream came from the other room.

"That's sick! Why would you want to put anything up there?" The hysterics carried on. Emmett came back into the room wearing the same face Jasper had worn not long ago. "Carry on." Emmett said as he resumed his seat next to Rosalie.

"Rosalie, Truth or Dare?" Jasper asked.

"Dare. I'm not a chicken." She flashed a playful look at me.

"I dare you to be my slave for the next half an hour." Jasper smiled hapilly thinking of all the stuff he could have Rose do.

"Fine then." Rosalie sighed. "But no kinky stuff okay. Your like my brother it's weird."

"Agreed. I'll let you know when I think of something. Your go."

"Edward Truth or Dare?" Rosalie smirked as she said it.

"Truth." Edward replied.

"Okay. Would you rather kiss Jacob Black or have sex with Mike Newton?" I stifled my giggles.

"That's just dumb. I'm not answering that." Edward refused.

"I had to so you have to." I reminded him.

"Fine then." He said pulling me nearer. "I would rather sleep with Mike Newton than kiss that dog." I laughed at that. But then I got a rather disturbing mental image and stopped quickly.

"Alice Truth or Dare?" Edward asked.

"Dare." She said. "I like a challenge."

"You have to give Emmett a piggy back around the room three times at human speed." He looked pretty pleased with himself.

"Yay! Piggyback!" Emmett started bouncing like a little kid. Alice picked him up surprisingly easily and carried him round the room. It was comical to watch. Emmett was just so big and bulky compared to dainty little Alice. She dropped him on the floor from her shoulders when she was done and elegantly sat down again.

"Last of all, Emmett, Truth or Dare?"

"Truth." Emmett said to my surprise.

"An easy one for you. If you woke up one day were invisible what would be the first thing that you do?" I stared at his waiting for an answer.

"If I were invisible I would poke Bella all day long and Edward could do nothing about it because he couldn't see me." Emmett looked triumphant.

"Phew! Truth and Dares is officially over. Is it bedtime yet?" I asked hopefully.

"You wish. Bedtime is a long way off. And technically the game isn't over because Rosalie is still Jasper's slave." Alice said standing over me. "What do we do now?"

I sighed and hugged Edward. This would be a long night.

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**Thank you for all the reviews I have got so far. I'm counting on you for more :) Anymore ideas you know what to do with them. Update soon hopefully XX**


	31. Chapter 31

**_Disclaimer:_** I don't own _twilight _or any of the characters :D :D :D_

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_BPOV_

"I know what we can play." Rosalie grinned. I was nervous.

"That's a great idea!" Alice clapped her hands excitedly. "I think Bella should go first." No one bothers to ask me anything. It's always me first.

"What am I doing and will I like it?" I can't help but ask. Not knowing makes me nervous. Especially when it comes to the Cullen's games.

"Just a game. That's all. It's not hard to play. I think you'll quite like it." Alice advanced towards me with a silk scarf in her hands. "It's called seven minutes in heaven."

"And how does that one go again." I questioned as Alice tied the scarf around my eyes so I couldn't see. And what kind of a name is that for bind mans bluff?

"Well, you have to go in the closet, an-"

"What closet? Where?" I didn't even know they had a closet.

"This one here. It's kind of small so-"

"Small? I don't really like small spaces." I add.

"Bella! Quit interrupting me!" Alice scolds.

"Sorry. Carry on." I say slightly embarrassed.

"Seven minutes in heaven is a game. What you have to do is go into the closet here, and some lucky …person," she said after a pause. "will come in there with you and do whatever you want to you for seven whole minutes."

"You said person. Do you mean boy or person?" I asked nervously.

"Person. To make it more fun you could get any of us." What? That's not right. Eww, Alice and me! Rosalie and me! Aaaah!

"I can't do that." I say desperately.

"You can and you will." She shoots back. "And one rule, no talking. Then you would be able to guess who it is." I was then shoved into the cupboard. Alice was right, this was small. It would get rather cosy with another person in here.

I waited a few seconds before I heard the door creak open. Then darkness again. I heard the lock click. Oh dear! Who is it? I reached to take my blindfold off. It didn't help at all. It was pitch black. Drats! Okay, I guess I would have to use the touch test.

Start at the stomach. Cold and hard. At least it wasn't Mike!

Moving up to the chest. I didn't feel boobs so that was a relief. So Alice and Rosalie are knocked off the list.

Moving up again. The neck. The face. It wasn't fat so it wasn't Emmett. Not that he has a fat head or anything but it's wider than the rest of them. So it's not Emmett.

Up again to the hair. I heard a low chuckle. It's harder than it looks this whole guessing game. I felt longish hair. I knew who it was! "Edward!" I whispered. Then a thought crossed my mind. "Crap! It's not Carlisle is it?" I then heard Edwards laughter from just in front of me. Phew!

"Don't worry it's me." He whispered back.

"I hear talking!" Alice called from outside the door.

"Sorry Alice." We both said at the same time before bursting into laughter again.

"How long has it been so far?" I ask quietly, trying not to alert Alice.

"Two minutes. We still have five left. What do you want to do first?" Edward asked me seductively.

"Anything you want." I reply honestly. "I mean, we don't have to do anything, if you don't want to. I mean it might be hard for you…but if not then…I guess that's good to…" I wish he'd shut me up. I'm talking a load of rubbish! He crushed my lips with his and kissed me passionately. I could feel his cold breath on my cheek and realise that he pulled away.

"Why is it so hard for me? I want to do so many things to you Bella, but I'm afraid I'll hurt you if I do." Edward said sounding almost angry with himself. I leaned forwards to kiss him but misjudged the distance between us. My head smacked against his.

"Ow! My head!" I rubbed at my sore spot. Yep, that was gonna bruise in the morning. Edward chuckled.

"Okay, that's enough heaven for both of us. Can we come out now please?" He banged on the door a few times.

"You still have one minute left!" Emmet called from outside.

"Please let us out. I banged my head." It did the trick and the door swung open. I stepped out cautiously.

"Can I just ask you what the hell you banged your head on? I mean it's a cupboard! There was nothing in there!" Jasper teased.

"I head butted Edward." I admitted going slightly red. Everyone started to laugh as Edward went to the kitchen. He was back in a split second with a bag of peas. Hang on, where did they come from? Edward handed them to me and I held them to my forehead.

"And that's the end of that game." Alice said sitting back down next to Jasper.

"What about everyone else?" I asked "How come I was the only one who got a go?"

"We wanted to see what Edward would do." Rose 'fessed up "In fact we had bets on it. And speaking of bets, Jasper and Emmett owes me money." They both grinned foolishly at me and Edward.

"We thought that you would at least get to second base. Sorry bro." Emmett apologized. At least I think it was an apology. I can never be to sure. Edward growled and I giggled. I always thought it was kind of sexy when he did that. Jasper obviously noticed the way I felt.

"Bella! I didn't want to know that!" He spoke to me in a voice like a little kid who just walked in on his parents kissing.

"I didn't know you liked it so much." Edward winked at me. I blushed again.

"What are we playing next?" I mumbled, trying to change the subject. Surely it couldn't get more embarrasing than this!

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**Another chapter done! Yay! ^_^ Thanks to all the comments I have got so far. Thanks for taking the time to review, it means a lot to me :D Will update soon :) XX**


	32. Chapter 32

**_Diisclaimer:_** I don't own _twilight _or any of the characters. Or any of the films mentioned in the story. Or Dora The Explorer for that matter =)_

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_BPOV_

"You know what's always fun?" Jasper said from the corner. "Horror films!"

"Fun for you maybe but not for me. It kinda spoils it when you see the ending before you see the actual film." Alice shoots back before quickly brightening up again. " But if I don't look ahead maybe I won't see anything. What are we gonna watch?"

Emmett stood up to leave the room when Jasper said, "Sit down Emmett. My slave would just love to go and get the movies wouldn't you slave?" Rose shot him an evil look but replied, "Yes Master." So she nipped out of the room and returned with a large stack of DVD's. "Okay, we have The Vanishing, Don't look now, The Sixth Sense, Halloween, The Texas Chainsaw Massacre, The Shining, The Omen, The Haunting, Poltergeist and The Exorcist. There's more upstairs but these are the scariest ones." She grinned impishly.

"Some of those films are older than me!" I stare at the films spread out in front of me.

"Bella's right. We need some new stock." Rosalie agreed. "It's not too late. Why don't we go to the video store and get a few?"

"Good idea! One question. Can I get changed into something that isn't my pyjamas?" I asked hoping the answer would be yes.

"If you hurry up. We'll get dressed then meet the boys in the cars." Alice called back, already halfway up the stairs. So I followed her upstairs and put my 'daytime' clothes back on. I met Edward outside the front door. He put his arm around my shoulders and led me to the Volvo.

After an all to quick journey there, we parked up then opened the front door. I could hear a buzzer sound in the background and clocked the guy sat at the till. He gave me a nod, so not sure what to do I nodded back. Then I felt stupid for nodding at a complete stranger. Then I was too busy thinking about feeling stupid that I tripped over-, in fact I don't even know what I tripped over. Myself maybe? Although as ever before I hit the ground Edward caught me. He chuckled as he set me back on my feet. "What am I going to do with my clumsy little human?" I flushed tomato red and just shrugged my shoulders. He kissed my forehead and headed toward the rest of the Cullens who were browsing the horror section. I was studying the back of some film Alice had handed me when the buzzer went off again. I looked towards the door to see Mike stood, trying to hide the excitement on his face when he saw me. I'm starting to think that I should file a restraining order against him. Maybe it's not to late.

"Hi Bella." I was brought back to reality by the voice I dreaded to hear. Mikes face looked like a puppy who had just got a new toy.

"Oh, hi Mike. Fancy seeing you here." I said smiling as sweetly as I could muster.

"I know. Just came to return a film. What you got there?" He took the case from my hands. I didn't say anything although my brain was screaming at him, 'What do you think you're doing you idiot? Did you ask me for that? No, you didn't. So what gives you the right to take something out of my hands that isn't even yours?' I of course ignored the urge to shout at him and instead looked behind me for some back up. They had all thrown themselves into the task of finding a scary film for us to watch. Although I did see Rosalie smiling just the faintest of smiles. They were doing this on purpose. Leaving me to deal with Mike all by myself.

"So, you're looking for a horror film huh?" He handed it back to me.

"Like I said the other night, scary films are good for cuddling up." I kept my smile firmly plastered on my face.

"Right. Anyway. I'll just be over here if you need me." Hadn't he noticed by now that I wasn't in the least bit interested? Clearly not.

"Okay." I wiggled my fingers at him in a sort of wave thing. I turned around again. "That wasn't funny you guys. I needed some help there!" They just laughed at me but stopped when Mike looked back.

"Sorry Bella. We were just busy looking for a film. I didn't even notice that he was here." Rose tried to stop herself from laughing again. Liar!

"Yeah right." I folded my arms and turned away. Edward appeared beside me.

"Don't worry about him. Jasper has planned a surprise for him." Edward turned around and nodded at Jasper. All of a sudden I felt hungry. But not as hungry as Mike. I heard his stomach growling from across the room. He looked around, acting as if it wasn't him. Then it happened again. And again.

Then Jasper smiled at me. "Time to turn it up a notch."

I saw Mike running towards the food section. It was all movie foods like popcorn, crisps, sweets and chocolate. He had this worried look on his face as if he wasn't in control of his own body. He flung himself at a big packet of Doritos. He tore the bag open, tilted his head back and pored the entire contents into his mouth. Well, they were meant to go in his mouth but mostly ended up on the carpet. He went after then and started eating off the floor like an animal. I couldn't help but laugh at this. He looked pretty stupid. The guy at the till got up and walked over to him. Mike was already opening a bar of chocolate and taking large bites out of it before dropping it onto the pile of food on the floor. I was doubled over with laughter. The till guy had _the_ most horrified look on his face. He just stood there, dumbfounded, watching Mike eat more and more. When he managed to speak Mike was halfway through a packet of marshmallows.

"Excuse me sir, but you can't do that. If you could just pay for the food you've eaten then leave I have no need to take the matter any further."

Mike then snapped out of his feeding frenzy. He dropped the two-litre bottle of cola in his hands and looked at the worker. There was chocolate all over his face as well as all over his hands. Mike looked shocked, not believing what he had done. He hung his head and reached into his pocket for his wallet. I ducked behind a cut out of some animated hedgehog and covered my mouth to stop the laughter coming out. Because if I let it out then it would be heard for miles. I was laughing so hard that tears were streaming down my face. I had to fully compose myself before standing up and walking over to the counter where he was stood, still caked in chocolate, waiting for his bill to be calculated. "Mike, you've got a little bit of something there." I said pointing to the corner of his mouth. He licked at it but it was kind of everywhere so there was still a lot left. I smiled and handed over the DVD which was still in my hand from before to the man behind the counter.

"You went with that one after all then?" I heard Mike ask.

"Yeah. It erm… it looks good. Thanks." I said to the cashier as he handed my a small carrier bag with my item in. "See ya Mike." I said as I walked towards the door. But I stopped and turned around to see Jasper and Rosalie arguing. She sighed then walked towards Mike. Rose stopped just in front of him and licked her finger before running it along Mike's mouth. "Mmmm. Chocolate. Kinky." She licked her finger again and smiled seductively at him before walking out the door. I followed her. Outside I tryed to find an explanation. "Jasper used the slave thing on me. I had no choice. And it was either that or actually lick his face. I know which one I prefer." Fair enough!

I had another breakdown of laughter in the car on the way home. And then another one when we were sat in the lounge waiting for the DVD to load. "It's meant to be really gory!" Said Emmett high fiveing Jasper on the way back to his seat. I cuddled closer to Edward waiting for the opening credits. But when I heard the music come on. It wasn't the gory film we wanted, it was Dora The Explorer!

"We can't watch this!" Edward stared at the screen. "The guy at the store put the wrong disk in case. We can't even take it back because it shut about 10 minutes ago." I groaned and rolled into Edwards cold chest.

"Great, so now what?" Rosalie said.

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**I managed to write another chapter for tonight! Woo Hoo :) :) Thanks for the reviews and keep them coming please! :D Will update soon XX**


	33. Chapter 33

**_Disclaimer:_** I don't own _twilight _or any of the characters. :D :D_

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_BPOV_

"You know, instead of watching a scary movie we could make one?" I sugguested.

"Oh my God!" Rosalie exclaimed.

"You're right it's a stupid idea. We could just watch one of the old ones." I shrugged it off.

"No, it's a great idea! So perfect. We could make it like a proper film, with wardrobe and make-up and special effects and everything." Alice started clapping her hands as soon as Rosalie mentioned wardrobe.

"This is gonna be soooo cool! First we need to brainstorm." Jasper said getting a pen and some paper. We all sat in a circle on the carpet and came up with loads of cool ideas for stories.

*****

"And action" Esme said holding Alice's camera. We had persuaded her to be our camera-woman for the film. Once we had all been made 'beautiful' by make-up and wardrobe (a.k.a. Rosalie and Alice) we had to get the first scene ready. It was set in Rosalie's room. The bed at the back of the room was covered in a pink silky duvet cover, much to Emmett's dislike (it wasn't masculin enough). Rose, Alice and myself were playing three ditzy girls throwing a party. This was the scene getting ready.

"Action!" The camera woman shouted.

"Oh my God Rose, this party's gonna be amazing!" I squealed in my airhead voice and jumped on the bed.

"I know Bella, it's gonna be so much better than the one we had last year." Rosalie joined in with my airhead voice.

"It's so cool that your parent's aren't here." Alice sat next to me on the bed.

"Where do your folks go at Halloween anyway?" I asked.

"I don't know. They go and visit my Aunt in New York or something. I don't really care." Rose stood, twirling her hair, watching herself in a full-length mirror. "I don't know what to do with my hair though."

"You know what time it is girls?" I asked excitedly.

"MAKE OVER TIME!" We all chorused together.

"And cut! Great scene girls, we didn't have to retake once!" Esme congratulated us on our success. Now it was time for a wardrobe change before shooting the next scene. The party.

We used the lounge for the party scene. We moved the sofa's and the TV out the was and set up a big stereo and disco lights. Ready for action again.

"Quiet on set and action."

"We look so hot." Rose commented on all of our outfits. I had been forced into a short red dress. Alice wore the same dress in purple and Rosalie in Black. We were all 'dress buddies'. And once again I was wearing heels. Bad move.

"You did invite those really hot guys from school didn't you? The big one, Emmett, totally likes you." Alice said. "And the others, Jasper and Edward are so cute. I wish one of them would like me." She pouted.

"Awww honey. Jasper has a little thing for you I can tell." I comforted Alice by hugging her lightly. "I totally like Edward. Isn't he just the most perfect human being you have ever seen. Isn't there a rumour going around that their vampires?" I fluffed my hair up, turning my back to the camera. I was trying so hard not to laugh but it was so hard. The door bell rang.

"It's them! It's only a rumour don't worry about it. How do I look?" Rosalie started posing for us.

"You look great" I said.

"Yeah totally hot." Alice agreed.

The next thing I knew, Edward, Jasper and Emmett were all stood in front of us wearing black from head to toe.

"Oh hi there. Great party isn't it?" I started conversation.

"Where is this party?" Jasper said in a Transylvanian accent.

"Hang on a second. Here it is. Party time." Rose turned the lights off. The only light was coming from the disco ball in the centre of the room.

"This is so fun. I have not been to a party for three hundred years." Edward said in the same accent as Jasper. "Would you like to dance?"

"Oh my God Edward just totally asked my to dance. What should I say?" I turned to Alice behind me and shouted over the imaginary music.

"Say yes. Duh!" Rose pushed me towards him.

"I'd love to dance." I said and grabbed Edwards arm. Then we all started doing really cheesy 80's dance moves in silence. After 30 seconds I stopped. "Phew that was hard work. I need a drink. Do you want one?" I asked my dancing partner.

"I'd love a drink. Of blood." Edward said finishing with an evil laugh.

"Of what sorry? We only have punch." I tugged him out of the room. "There might be some coke in the fridge though."

Esme followed us to the kitchen. I opened the fridge and poked my head around the door. "Sorry, we're all out of coke. All we have is this garlic." I held it in front of Edwards face. He hissed and hid behind his cape. "Oh sorry, are you allergic?"

"Yes. Allergic. Bella, I want to talk to you about something important." I shut the door and turned back to him. "You may find this hard to believe but I am actually a vampire."

"No. Never. You don't look like one or anything. I mean you dress in black and you wear a cape and you have fangs and you're allergic to garlic and you don't go outside in the sunlight but I had no idea!" I stared with my mouth open.

"If I never go out in the sunlight how did I meet you at school? I am confused." Edward's eyebrows knitted together.

"We go to night school?" I asked. I'd never thought about that one before.

"Ah yes. I remember now. Anyway, I want to bite you Bella. I'm going to do it now. Just to warn you." And with that I was pulled under Edwards coat. He playfully started sucking at my throat.

"Edward. Stop it!" I couldn't help but giggle.

"Cut now people." Esme called to us. I was released from Edwards steely grasp only to find Esme looking at my neck. Then, as if to confuse me more, she started laughing.

"What? What's wrong?" I asked feeling with my fingertips for anything wrong. I reached the part Edward had just kissed. It was a bit cold but apart from that I didn't feel anything. I want to the mirror in the hallway and checked my reflection. I could see it now. A big red love bite on my neck. I gasped and leaned closer. Wiping it with my hand as if it would come off. When it didn't I screamed with annoyance. Everyone came running out of the lounge with concerned faces.

"Bella? What's happened?" Alice asked. I turned around to face the group.

"Edward gave me a hickey!" I pulled my hair around my neck to conceal it. I didn't want anyone to see it. Then everyone started laughing, including Edward himself. I scowled at him. He wasn't the one who had to wear a scarf for the next week to stop Charlie from seeing.

"I'm sorry Bella. I just got caught up in the moment. I was being a convincing vampire." Edward advanced towards me still laughing.

"You do know if Charlie sees this then he will never let me see you again? You weren't even meant to be here. You were meant to be camping with the boys. You know what we told him!" I took a step back. He looked worried for a minute, which just made everyone else laugh more. I felt tears of frustration welling up in my eyes so I ran upstairs to the bathroom and locked the door.

I heard Esme say downstairs, "I think that's the end of filming for tonight. Go and see if Bella is okay." I heard Emmett protesting.

"I didn't even get to say one line yet! So unfair!"

I smiled despite the stupid tears running down my face. I just thought of a new game. Who can get Bella out of the bathroom.

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**I tried to fit as many cliche's into the film as possible. Did you like it? I need to thank_AnimegirlKiki_** **for the idea to make a horror film of their own. I had to put the word 'hickey' in this chapter because it is my favourite word at the moment. Lol. :) So readers, how would you get Bella out of the bathroom without actually breaking the door down? Would love to hear some sugguestions. This could get silly ;) Update soon. XX**


	34. Chapter 34

**_Disclaimer:_** I do not own _twilight_ or any of the characters. :D_

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_BPOV_

"Bella? Are you okay in there?" A voice said from outside the door.

"Yes thanks." I said back at I closed the toilet lid and sat on top of it. I was going to stay in here as long as I could.

"You gonna come out then?" I think it was Edward who said that.

"No thanks. I'm fine in here." A smile spread across my face even though there was no one there to see it except myself.

"Bella, it's Alice. Please come out. I want to see my BFF! And it's not even that bad. You can barely see it." Nice try. And you so can see it. It's big and red, for God's sake!

"No thanks. I'd rather stay. And you can see it. It's so big if you can't see it then your as dumb as Mike Newton." Oh God! What if Mike did see it? He'd tell my Dad and then my Dad would want to check for himself. Note to self: Don't show Mike or anyone else for that matter.

"Bella! Get you're butt out here now! It's only a stupid love bite, I mean it's not as if anyone is going to see you except us anyway. Stop being such a baby wussy girly pants!" That was Rosalie. She was going for the tough cop approach. Very nicely done. But not good enough.

"I don't want to come out if you're all going to be mean to me. I'll just stay in here and wait 'till morning." I yawned just thinking about it. I was quite tired after today. Maybe I'll just come out and go to bed. Nah!

"Bella? Want some cake?" Jasper said through the door. "If you do you will need to come out."

"Jasper, You're a vampire! You can't cook a cake! In fact, you can't make anything I can eat!" I said remembered the disaster on a plate he served me before. The potatoes were raw and whole! Not even washed.

"Aw, please. I haven't had a need to cook in like a bazillion years."

"I still don't want your cake!" I shot back a bit harsher than intended.

"Errm, well then, what if I bought a cake?" Jasper suggested. Good idea and at least it would be edible.

"No thanks, I'm not hungry." All of a sudden I felt a pang of hunger. "And you can quit playing with my emotions as well!"

"Damn." I heard him mumble, "You won't get this girl out. Emmett you try." Then there was a pause while Emmett thought of something to say.

"Hey Bella." Emmett started. "Edward is waiting for you in his room. He's gone all kinky and is led on the bed with nothing on and is covered in whipped cream and chocolate sauce. He says to come quickly before it the mood passes." I could just imagine that. All that cream and chocolate dripping off his –

Bella! Get your head in the game girl!

"As much as I'd like to believe that Edward is on his bed covered in chocolate sauce and cream, I find it a bit hard to believe. Sorry Emmett, nice try though." And if I'm right then there is only one person left to try and get me out before 'the parents' are called. Edward. The one I've been looking forward to the most.

"Bella? Honey? Are you in there still?" Edwards velvety voice came from the other side of the door.

"Yes I'm still in here. Where else do I have to go? Anyway I thought you were in your bedroom waiting for me."

"I waited but you never came. Baby is there something wrong? With us I mean." What was he playing at?

"No, there's nothing wrong with us pumpkin, but I just didn't believe Emmett." If he was going to call me baby, then I would have to call him another pet name. He has never called me baby before!

"I mean, are you that ashamed that I love you? You want to cover up that love bite I gave you. I thought you would have liked it. You don't like it when I kiss you bunny boo?" He was giving me the guilt trip. Clever, I must admit.

"Aww pookey, you know I love it when you kiss me but I don't need a hickey to prove that you love me." Ha take that one!

"But sugar lump, If you did the same to me I would wear it with pride. You're not proud of me are you?" Touché.

"But love bug, you don't have a pulse so you can't get a love bite even if you wanted one. And I would love to wear it with pride sweet cheeks, but Charlie wouldn't like it much."

"Charlie's not here. You can't even show my family. Or me. Angel eyes I thought you loved me." He sounded sad. I was trying to think of a comeback when Carlisle knocked on the door.

"I'm sorry to bother you Bella, but I really need the toilet, would you mind leaving the room for a second while I pee? You can go back in afterwards. Please?"

"Oh sure." I said and opened the door not wanting to be the reason for someone wetting themselves outside the bathroom door. I stepped out and passed Carlise on his way in.

"Thanks Bella!" He said before shutting the door. Then I realised what a dumbo I had been.

"Hang on a second! Vampires don't go to the toilet!" I knocked on the door. "Carlisle you tricked me!"

"I'm sorry Bella but Edward couldn't think of any more pet names for you. I had to intervene." I turned around to face the rest of the Cullens. My eyes rested on Edwards face. I pulled a puppy dog face.

"Forgive me?" I asked. He grinned at me.

"On one condition."

"And what is that?" I asked raising my eyebrows at him.

"I get to give you another love bite!" His smile widened.

"No! I don't accept!" I said running down the stairs. I could hear him running behind me at human pace. He was toying with me!

"Come here Bella. I vant to suck your blad!" He said in his fake Transylvanian accent.

"Noooooo!" I was laughing and running. I came to the lounge and flopped on one of the sofas. Before I knew it Edward was on top of me kissing me on the other side of my neck. "Stop it! Let me go you vampire demon! If you give me another hickey I swear I will kill you!" I playfully hit him on the back trying to get him off me.

"Technically my dear I am already dead so that won't work." Edward lifted his head long enough to say.

"Fine then I'll rip you to apart and burn the pieces or whatever I have to do!" I giggled still trying to push him away.

"When you put it like that I have no choice but to stop." He sighed as he stood above me giving me my favourite crooked smile. I was secretly a bit disappointed that it was over. I was having fun.

"Can we carry on with the sleepover now?" Alice said as she came down the stairs with everyone else behind her including Carlisle.

"Yeah, why not. Is it bed time yet though? I'm pooped!" I stretch and yawn, looking at Alice for an answer. Edward sat next to me on the couch and put his arm around me.

"Okay then. Bedtime for the human." Alice was still smiling as she said it. Somehow I don't think I will be going straight to sleep tonight.

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**Okay, first of all I have a few people I need to thank. *Deep breath*. I want to thank _leafpaw223 ,_** **_bitten lamb.x_ and _Twilightobsessedmuch _for the ideas they gave me. I used some of them in this chapter. I also want to thank all of the reviews I got for the last chapter, I think it was the most I have ever got for one chapter, so thanks for that. Keep reviewing please :) What will happen when Bella tries to go to sleep? Any ideas? XX**


	35. Chapter 35

_**Disclaimer:**_ I do not own _twilight _or any of the characters :D :D :D_

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_BPOV_

It took a while to set up the beds on the floor. We had one each even though it was only me who could sleep. They were these little camp bed things. Quite small and not too comfortable looking.

When we finally bedded down for the night it must have been past midnight. I had moved my bed closer to Edwards and we were holding hands over the gap. It was rather uncomfortable but I didn't want to let go. Everyone was led in the dark just staring at the ceiling. All I could hear was my own breathing until Emmett spoke.

"This is so boring Bella! How do you do this for a whole night?" I heard shuffling sounds so I assumed he was tossing and turning. Then from somewhere else in the room I heard Rose's voice.

"Emmett? I need a glass of water, will you come with me?" I wasn't going to get tricked by a vampire again.

"Rosalie, you don't drink water." I was quick this time.

"I do and I need Emmett's help. Come on Emmett what you waiting for?" Rosalie walked over to his bed and helped him up before whispering something in his ear.

"Oh! Well why didn't you just say that? I'm coming! This sleeping lark is boring!" Emmett practically dragged Rose out the room. I had a feeling that they didn't actually want water.

"Emmett keep your thoughts to yourself!" Edward called after them. "I don't want to know what outfit she will be wearing tonight!" Ew, okay they defiantly didn't want water. I sometimes feel so sorry for Edward!

"I think I need some water too. Are you coming Alice?" Jasper stood up and walked over to the door.

"Sure! Sorry Bella, we'll be back soon." Alice smiled apologetically to me.

"It's fine. You take all the time you need. Go 'quench your thirst'." I said back. God these people must think I'm stupid. "Do you want to get some water as well Edward?" I asked jokingly.

"No thanks. There'll be a huge queue at the sink. I'll wait here with you." I couldn't help but giggle at that. "You just go to sleep okay sugar lump?" He said as leaned forwards and kissed the tip of my nose.

"Okay pumpkin. Night night." I leaned over and kissed him back. I eased back into my own bed and rolled over.

For the next hour or so I tried to get to sleep but couldn't. First my bed collapsed at the bottom so I was sleeping on a slant, then I hurt my elbow on the pole at the top of the bed. "Ow!" I mumbled as I rubbed my sore arm.

"Bella, I thought you were asleep, that's why I didn't fix the bed. Are you all right?" Edward was by my side at once with a worried look on his face. I sat up still rubbing my elbow.

"I can't sleep. I'm just so uncomfortable." I sighed with chagrin. I held my arms up like a baby. "Eddie can I sleep with you?"

"You can sleep with me if you never call me Eddie again." He said as he scooped me up lovingly in his arms. I shivered as I felt the coldness of his skin seep through my pyjamas. He set me down on the sofa nearest the window and went back to get my bedding. I yawned again as I felt the fluffy duvet wrap around me. Edward sat down and smiled at me. Even in the darkness it still had an effect on me. I scooted closer and snuggled into his marble chest.

It didn't take me long to get to sleep after that. Well, I nearly got to sleep. I heard someone come in the room. Then I heard Edward speaking in an angry but slightly amused voice. "No Emmett you can't put Bella's hand in warm water while she's asleep." I was awake enough to hear that.

"Aww but why? I just want to see what happens." Emmett was whining.

"You know what happens. Don't lie to the mind reader Emmett. I see all." Edward chuckled. I shifted my position and Edward stopped.

"Please Edward. Why not? Just once." Emmett pleaded.

"Why not? Are you serious? I don't want you to put Bella's hand in warm water because I really don't want her to pee on me. I mean I love her and all but I there's only so much human-ness I can take and peeing on me is over stepping the mark a bit." I giggled despite my sleepy state.

"Emmett, I don't want to wee on Edward. Can I sleep now please?" I murmured still half asleep. Edward chuckled under his breath.

"Please Bella. Just this once." Emmett was still pleading.

"Can I please go and hit him now?" Edward whispered into my ear.

"Be my guest." I sat up rubbing the sleep out of my eyes. I wanted to see this. Edward slipped out from beneath me. I peered through the darkness trying to see what was happening. I could hear it but that was about it.

"Hey, Edward. What are you doing? No don't – Ow! Edward, hey, dude, you were supposed to be the nice brother! Please stop!" I pressed my hands to my mouth to stop the laughter coming out. Then I felt Edward beneath me again. He pulled me closer and spoke into my hair, "Now it's time for sleep. Sweet dreams Bella."

"They will be if they're of you." Was the last thing I said before I fell asleep.

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**I have managed to write another chapter despite the huge story I had to write for English. You gotta love homework *sarcastic smile* Anyway I have to thank _leafpaw223_ for the idea of the whole warm water thing. However the original idea was that Bella would actually pee pee on Edward. I couldn't let this happen to him :D Thanks anyway. Will update soon :) :) XX**


	36. Chapter 36

**_Disclaimer: _**I do not own _twilight_ or any of the characters :D :D :D_

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_BPOV_

"Ouch! What the hell?" I woke with a start as something hit my head. I blinked hard as my eyes tried to adjust to the light. After several seconds, when I could actually open my eyes, I looked around to see what hit me. Sitting next to me on the sofa was a shoe. "What the hell?" I repeated, at a loss for words.

"Sorry Bella! Didn't mean to wake you. Jasper stole my shoe and ran away with it into the woods. When he came back I managed to wrestle it off him but it kinda flew out of my hands and hit you on the head. Are you okay?" Emmett crawled over to me and retreaved his shoe. That was way to much information to process after being awake for sixty seconds. I just nodded absentmindedly. What I was really thinking was where had Edward gone. In a flash Edward was beside me on the sofa again. I jumped. Why did he have to be so fast at everything?

"Geez, Emmett! I left the room for two minutes! Two! And you managed to wake Bella up and hit her with a shoe. Well done." He looked at me with the same face he made last night when I had hit my elbow. His face was alive with concern and worry. "Are you all right Bella? How hard did it hit you?"

"Errm, not too hard I think. I'll be fine, I just want something to eat." I mumbled trying to think straight. I tried to stand up but fell back down. Instead of chuckling like I thought he would, Edward put his hands either side of my face.

"I think we should get Carlisle. You might have a concussion. If she does Emmett I swear to God you will be running away from me for the rest of your life. Don't you know how fragile she is? She's a human not a vampire so shoes to the head won't do her much good." Edward scolded Emmett like an infant. I felt sort of sorry for him but then I remembered, he hit me with a shoe!

"Edward I'm fine. I've not got a concussion, I don't have head trauma, I've not got internal bleeding and I'm not dying and so just chill! I mean- erm- stop worrying sweetie-" I had never told Edward to 'just chill' before. I didn't know what the reaction would be. He looked at me and then at Emmett and Jasper on the floor. Everyone in the room seemed to stop, waiting for a response. He turned his attention back to me.

"Sorry Bella. I guess you're fine. And sorry Emmett I shouldn't have snapped at you." I think I visibly sighed with relief because he spread a smile across his face. "Okay, now it's time to get the fragile little human some breakfast." Phew! Lucky escape.

So I got up and dressed in fifteen minutes. I wandered downstairs, dreading what I would find on my plate. Would it be burned toast again or maybe some chicken, cheese and peanut butter sandwiches. Mmm, delicious. However I was pleasantly surprised to find that Edward was waiting in the kitchen with his car keys. "We decided it would be better to go out for breakfast today. Alice wanted another go at making you toast." I shuddered at the thought. "I know, I did you a favour. Come on let's go!" He opened the door and led me out. I already knew where we were going as soon as we got in the car. The diner. Hopefully Mike wouldn't be there this time.

When we got there it was just Edward and me but by the time I had ordered we saw another Cullen car pull up. Alice, Rose, Jasper and Emmett got out and waved at us through the window.

"Oh dear! Here comes trouble." Edward mumbled as they came through the door. They spotted us and practically ran over to us.

"Fancy seeing you here!" Rose said as she sat down beside me.

"Yeah, fancy that." Edward mumbled. I slipped my hand into his under the table and he grinned at me. I couldn't help but grin back.

Jasper caught us and called out as loud as he could, "Hey everybody, I want to make an announcement."

"Sit back down!" Edward hissed, obviously knowing what was coming next. Jasper ignored him and carried on.

"Bella and Edward here are getting married! Isn't that great!" Almost everyone around the room started clapping and whistling. Everyone except Mike. I saw his head peep around one of the booths.

"You're getting married?" Mike shouted across the room in clear astonishment and disappointment. I banged my head on the table. I can't believe this is happening. There was actually a line of people who wanted to come and congratulate us. Why!?! I shot an angry look at Jasper before I turned to look at our supporters. At the end of the line Mike was stood looking rather impatient. This could be a chance to have fun!

I smiled and hugged so many people in the next five minutes I didn't even think that there was that many people in the whole of Forks! Finally the line got shorter and shorter until there was only one person left stood there. Mike, with the face of a sulky kid. I couldn't help but smile at this. Yep, this was defiantly the chance to have some fun!

"Are you really getting married?" Mike asked with a tinge of worry in his voice. Skip the pleasantries and straight to the personal. I don't even get a hello now?

"Yes isn't it great! I proposed last night and she was all too eager to accept weren't you sugar plum?" He tapped me on the nose as he answered the question. This was the cue to act all lovey-dovey.

"Yes I was baby. I love you so much, I'd do anything for you. I want to be a proper family, I mean it won't be long before little Eddie comes along!" I couldn't help saying. I patted my belly to emphasise my point. Mikes jaw dropped. I tried to hold back the giggles. "Come sit with us! It'll be fun. We're talking about baby names at the moment. I mean I really want to call it Edward Junior if it's a boy so it will grow up big and strong like his daddy. What do you think pooky bear?" I turned to Edward and stroked his arm.

"Honey, I don't know. Why don't we ask Mike?" Everyone on the table turned to look at Mike. He just sat there and nodded looking quite green.

"And then there's the wedding to plan. I mean I've always wanted a summer wedding. All the sun and fresh flowers it would be so romantic!" I looked around the table for approval. I was just winding Mike up, seeing how far he could go before he snapped. Turns out Mike snaps really easily.

"YOU CAN'T MARRY HIM!" He shouted at the top of his lungs. I jumped at the loud sound.

"Why ever not?" My eyes were as wide as saucers. I was trying an innocent-deer-in-the-headlights look. I think I pulled it off rather well!

"Well, because he's having an affair with Jessica." Even Mike looked surprised at what he had just said. I slowly moved so my eyes were meeting Edwards. He gave my hand a squeeze under the table. I knew what this meant.

"Is it true?" I asked my lips trembling. I was trying to squeeze some tears out of my eyes. I could feel them welling up. Yes! Result! "Tell me he's lying. Please Edward just tell me he's lying." I don't know how everyone managed to keep a straight face. I was finding it increasingly difficult. Edward just sat there speechless and playing his part well. I stood up and pulled the ring off I was wearing at the time. I looked at it trying to decide what to do with it. I decided on hurling it at Edwards head. I hope he forgives me later! "If you can't tell me no I know what the answer is. And I'm not going to waste my time on a tosser like you. It's over Edward. I'm outta here." I walked towards the door.

"No wait Bella stop!" I could hear his footsteps behind me. Then I felt his cold hand on my shoulder. I whirled around and slapped it away.

"Stay away from me you man-whore!" I strode out the door not really knowing where to go.

"Bella! Wait up!" It was Alice and Rosalie. Thank God for that. "Go and sit on the Volvo." I followed my instructions but still covered my face, aware that I was still visible from the window. When the girls caught up with me I hugged them.

"What do I do now?" I wondered. I couldn't just wait here until Edward got bored and decided to go home. However just as I said that my phone started ringing. It was Edward. Okay, don't seem too glad it's him.

"What do you want?" I sniffed and spoke. Alice mouthed something at me. It looked like 'he's got you on speakerphone'. I nodded to show her I had acknowledged her.

"Bella, love, I've got you on speakerphone so I have witnesses for what I'm about to say to you. First of all I just want you to know that I have never been with anyone else except you and never want to. I love you Bella, you are my everything.

O! She doth teach the torches to burn bright.  
It seems she hangs upon the cheek of night  
Like a rich jewel in an Ethiop's ear;  
Beauty too rich for use, for earth too dear." Edward quoted with such beauty I went all mushy inside.

"Just because you can rhyme off a few Shakespeare lines doesn't mean I believe you." I didn't think I would be able to find a voice.

"What if I said I swear on the life of our unborn child, that I didn't have an affair with Jessica." I gasped, pretending to be shocked.

"Oh Edward I'm sorry I doubted you. But why did Mike say that then? Do you know what I think? I think he's kind of obsessed with me. It's really creepy actually. Do you think he will try and break us up again?" I tried to sound sincere but I wanted to laugh. I could see Mike's face through the window. He looked kind of scared.

"I don't know but I think we should be having serious words with him. You stay where you are. I'll be out in just a second." He hung up on me. Then I saw him through the window standing up. By the time he was just outside the door, I ran up to him and flung myself at him. We stood there for a whole ten minutes, locked in each other's embrace. When we finally let go of each other I saw Mike with his nose pressed against the window. He motioned for me to come inside. Had he not heard the whole stalker conversation? God this guy is clueless!

"Bella, is this really okay with you. I mean you don't have to get back with him if you don't want to-" Give up already Mike!

"No I want to. And anyway you know what they say about make up sex right?" I winked at him before heading outside again. Edward was waiting for me by the Volvo.

"Thank goodness that is over!" Edward sighed opening the door for me, like a true gentleman.

"I know, Mike is such a douche!" I mutter as I climbed in. Edward chuckled and got into the drivers seat.

"I couldn't agree with you more." I giggled before I was rudely interrupted by a loud rumbling sound coming from my stomach. Damn! In all the excitement I forgot to eat. "You wanna go to Wal-Mart again?" Edward asked as he turned the key in the ignition.

"Please!" I said almost over-keenly. Edward chuckled and sped away. Next stop: Wal-Mart!

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**189!!!! Wow! That's alot of reviews!! Thanks soo much. Looking forward to getting some more. Pretty Please? Lol :) Anyway hoped you liked this chapter. Hope to update soon XXX**


	37. Chapter 37

**_Disclaimer:_** I do not own _twilight _or any of the characters. :) :) :)_

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_BPOV_

I realised going back to Wal-Mart wasn't such a good idea. I mean I was surprised we hadn't been kicked out by now so it wouldn't be long. Nut seen as we were already we might as well enjoy ourselves. This of course was Edward's idea. I was sort of surprised. I was starting to see a new side to him this weekend. But who was I to complain?

All of us were sat in the café once again – yes, the rest of them had followed us – and I was eating my breakfast. Even though it was like, eleven o'clock now so I guess it's kinda like a brunch. We were all discussing ideas of what to do when for the second time that morning. I thought it would be Mike but to my surprise it was Charlie.

"Hi Dad! Are you all right?" I wondered why he was calling. He usually didn't call without a reason.

"Hi Bells. Okay I'm going to tell you something but don't be worried it's all under control." My imagination was firing in all cylinders. What could have happened? I was starting to get worried just thinking about it.

"What is it Dad? What's happened?" I almost shouted at him.

"That stalker of yours called me again just a few minutes ago." Was that it? I thought it was something serious like we only had three hours left to live or something (my imagination actually thought of that)! "He told me that you and Edward were getting married and that you were keeping your baby. I'm coming home now so I'll put that restraining order on him."

"Oh no Dad, don't come all the way back just for that. Stay a few more hours and go fishing again. Don't worry about Mike, I can handle him."

"Bella, I'm coming back anyway so I might as well get this creep to stay away from you. I guess I'll see you when I get back from the station." I was going to protest some more but then I realised I could get Mike away from me for what a month? Or at least until tomorrow when we went to school again. So I said my good byes and finished my food.

"What are we doing then? What have we decided on?" I missed out on all of the brainstorming. Never mind.

"We've all decided to have a piggy back race." Jasper said at last. Well that didn't sound too hard.

"Fine but bagsy I'm not carrying Emmett!" I said. In fact I don't think I could carry any one of these vampires. Maybe if I asked really nicely someone would carry me.

"There's a catch my dear. We have to find some children and convince their parents to let us borrow their kids. Then we have to race with them on our backs and whoever wins gets to chose what we do next." Edward grinned. His eyes were alight with excitement.

"Fine then where do we meet?" I asked. So we agreed on a time and place. We only had fifteen minutes to find someone and meet for the race on the car park. I didn't think it would be so difficult. I was wrong.

I went out looking for younger children, as they would be lighter to carry. I asked three separate lots of parents but they all said no. Doesn't anyone know what fun was around here? As I was walking round I saw Alice and Edward. They hadn't found anyone yet either. So another five minutes passed and I still couldn't find anyone. I saw Emmett actually trying to steal someone's child. Then he got hit with the handbag. Emmett always seemed to bring this reaction out of people. First with Gladys and now with this random stranger. What are the chances?

Time was wearing thin and I still hadn't found anyone. I was now running around Wal-Mart looking for someone, anyone who was willing to do this now. I even asked a few people who worked there but they just looked at me as if I had three heads. I was walking to the front doors to admit defeat when Edward came running up behind me, human speed of course!

"Bella, have you found anyone?" I just shook my head and looked dejectedly at the floor. "Great! Neither have I. Would you do me a huge favour and let me carry you?" How could I refuse?

"I'd love to. Thanks for asking me Edward!" I kissed him on the lips briefly before grabbing his hand and pulling him outside.

We found the others waiting for us there but their choice of partners was not what I expected. I saw Alice and Jasper had no problem finding some children. However the little boy Jasper had chosen looked quite scary. He kept kicking Jasper on his leg. I could tell he was trying to ignore him but he looked pretty hacked off. I thought he would have used his powers so that he would feel really sleepy or suddenly have the urge to behave well or something. He kicked him again. Clearly not.

Alice was sat on the floor with this adorable little girl who can't have been more than four years old. She was dressed as a fairy and was dancing around Alice who looked all too happy to play along.

Rosalie's partner was a guy who worked there. I think it was the same one she asked for 'advice' before. He looked kind of nerdy and had greasy hair and spots. Rosalie looked absolutely disgusted but her partner looked rather enthralled to be there. He kept leering suggestively at her. Ew, guys are horrible! Well, except from Edward of course.

Emmett's partner was what looked like an old man. They were chatting about something animatedly about something. They seemed to be deep in conversation and they were getting more and more excited. But they saw us and waved us over. Just as we started walking Rosalie called the competition to a start.

"Right everyone! I think it's time to start now! Hey Edward where's your partner?" Rose looked suspicious.

"Bella's my partner." He replied, "Where's the starting line?" I couldn't help but laugh at Rosalie's face. She looked like she was about to explode. Then she glared at me and I abruptly stopped and looked away for my own safety.

Emmett and Jasper marked the start and finish line as the rest of us lined up to start. We had gathered quite a crowd now. Parents, partners and just plain old strangers turned up to see what was happening. We found ourselves a marksman and were ready to go.

"On your marks," Edward hoisted me onto his back, "Get set," He crouched down to get a better start, "GO!" And we were off. Everyone was running slowly, or at least it felt that way. The last time I was on Edwards back we were running at the speed of light through the woods near his house. And if I remember correctly it was running away from Alice, she wanted to dress me up again.

I looked around at the competition. No one was winning at the moment but someone would drop back soon. Jasper was first. "Faster, faster! Go FASTER!" The little boy shouted whilst tugging at Jasper's hair. "FASTER!"

"I can't go faster you stupid twit! And stop pulling my hair!" He stopped altogether in protest and set the boy on the ground. "Now we're not going to win at all! I hope you're happy."

I looked to my left to see Rosalie and her 'partner'. He was holding on tightly to her, a little to tightly if you ask me. "What's that poking me in my back? Is it you're walkie- talkie or something?" Rosalie sounded a bit miffed. I could tell she just wanted the race to finish already so she could get that idiot of her back. Then something seemed to click in her head. "Oh you dirty little git!" She dropped him so he fell flat on his ass! "That's disgusting and if you ever come near me again I promise that I will make your life a living hell! For the record my husband is sooo much bigger, if you catch my drift." I sniggered into Edwards back. The employee was rolling around on the floor cursing. That just goes to show that no one messes with Rose!

There was only about twenty metres left to go. It was out of Alice, Emmett and ourselves. The man on Emmett's back seemed to be having the time of his life, despite being rather too old for riding on people's backs. A wide smile was spread across his wrinkled face. I smiled and waved at him, but before I realised letting go was a bad idea it was too late. I was falling towards the floor again for the umpteenth time this weekend. I gasped, bracing myself for the crash. Then I felt Edwards hands round my waist. I was so grateful that my boyfriend had super fast reactions or I'm pretty sure I would be smushed into some pavement somewhere.

"Bella? Are you all right?" Edwards's voice was worried. He lowered me gently to the floor and sat next to me, waiting for an answer.

"I'm fine. Thanks for saving me." I mumbled, pushing the hair behind me ears. He chuckled and shuffled closer to me. I felt his breath on my cheek. It was cold and it made me blush just thinking about how close he was.

"Next time, don't let go okay?" He asked me playfully as he pulled me to my feet. I nodded, turning around just in time to see Emmett and the old man twirling around in circles. I guessed by the commotion that the race was over and Emmett was the winner. Oh crap! Emmett got to choose what we were top do next. Well, this would defiantly be interesting!

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**Another chapter! Woooo :) Hope you like it. Thanks for all the reviews, keep them coming. My 200th reviewer was _EdwardCullenMasenforever_! Thank you soo much and my gift to you is a clone of Edward Cullen himself! You can't have the original as he is currently sat in the middle of my bed looking very, very lonely. I think I may need to go and keep him company... No, gotta finish this first. Okay so does anyone know what will Emmett do next? This is Emmett so anything could happen. Update soon. Now I really must be going, he's getting really lonely. XX**


	38. Chapter 38

**_Disclaimer: _**I do not own _twilight_ or any of the characters :D :D_

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_BPOV_

"Please Edward? Pretty please." Emmett fluttered his eyelids at Edward's unimpressed expression. "Come on. I won so it's only fair!"

"Okay then, if you won't stop bugging me about it."

"I won't. Not until you do it." A triumphant grin spread across Emmett's face. Although why he was asking Edward I have no idea. Surely he would ask me about this? After all I was the one who had to play the game.

"Ready Bella?" Alice came up behind me with a scarf/blindfold thing. I nodded trying not to think about the chaos I was about to cause. I felt the woollen scarf cover my eyes and immediately felt like this was a bad idea. I mean blinding the most accident-prone girl since the beginning of time, not smart. "You know how to play?"

"Yep! Tell me when to go though." I adjusted the knot at the back of my head and waited for conformation.

"GO!" I think it was Emmett who said that.

Oh, that's me. I reached my arms out in front of me and called to anyone who could hear me, "Marco!"

"Polo!" At least three voices answered back. So they hadn't totally deserted me. Not all of them anyway. I stumbled around cautiously not wanting to walk into anything. I tried to listen extra carefully so I would hear any movement. I took another step forward and felt something cold.

"Aha! I got someone!" But as I said that the person moved away and I fell to the floor. I knew the person wasn't Edward, as he would have saved me before I hit the floor. Ouch! I forgot what it was like to fall on your ass! "Hey that's cheating!" I stood up and dusted myself off. I sighed and got back on with business, "Marco!"

"Polo!" I heard voices in the distance. I tried to walk in that direction but walked into a shelf of some sort and fell over again. "Ow! That hurt." I mumbled to myself as I stood up again. I turned away from the shelf and called out again, "Marco!"

"Polo!" The voices were closer than before. So they saw me fall down and decided to do nothing about it. What fantastic friends I have. Right, third time lucky. I took a step forwards and miraculously I was still standing! Woo hoo! I took another step and another. Still upright. I started feeling ambitious and started walking in the direction of the voices. Slowly, but still walking. "Marco!"

"Polo!" A voice was close to me. Then without thinking about it I half walked-half ran in that direction.

"Marco!"

"Polo!" Oh no! The voice was getting further away. After it! I carried on with my weird walky-runny thing hoping I wouldn't crash again. I turned down an aisle after hearing footsteps. Then I smashed into something and started falling _again_! God, how many times can I fall in the space of ten minutes? But before I hit the floor I was caught and I knew who by. As I was pulled up I felt cold hands on my shoulders. Edward! When I was on my feet I moved closer to his body. I put my hands flat on his chest and made them crawl upwards until they were around his neck. Funny, he was taller than I remember.

"Thank God I found you. I fell over so many times back there that I thought I'd give myself a concussion! But now you're here to make me better." I leaned upwards for a kiss but felt Edward back away. "What's wrong?"

"I'm sorry Bella, I can't do this." But that wasn't Edward's voice that was …

I tore my blindfold off to see a doctor's uniform. Oh please no. I brought my eyes up until they met his. Crap! It was …

"Carlisle!" I gasped as I saw him looking into my eyes with a worried look on his face. This can't be happening!

"Bella, I didn't know you felt that way and I'm flattered I really am but I can't do it. You have Edward and I have Esme. I'm married, Bella and have been since before you were born. And I'm sorry to tell you but I don't have feelings for you. I mean, I love you like a daughter - friend even but not a lover." Seriously, is he having a 'talk' with me? I just stood there – dumbfounded – not knowing what to say or do. I couldn't speak; my voice was literally lost in my throat. I backed away before attempting.

"Carlisle – I wasn't – I didn't – I mean –" I couldn't string a sentence together properly. "Carlisle, listen, I thought you were Edward. I'm so sorry!" This is soooo embarrassing. I can't believe I'm apologizing to Edwards 'father' for expressing inappropriate feelings for him that aren't even there! I buried my face in my hands feeling my the heat on my palms. Crap, crap crapedy crap! What happens now then? I gingerly raised my head searching Carlisle's face for some sort of indication.

"Well," he cleared his throat, " I guess that's acceptable. This has been sufficiently awkward." He rocked on his heels.

"Yeah, I'm sorry. Can we just forget about this whole thing?" I asked a little to enthusiastically. Carlisle chuckled and nodded.

"Defiantly. I can do without this. I only came for a loaf of bread. See you later Bella and tell the others I want serious words with them about playing Marco Polo in Wal-Mart." I watched him leave, playing with the scarf in my hands. I heard excited giggling coming from the next aisle along. I crept to see who it was. As if I couldn't already guess.

"You! You meant for that to happen didn't you?" I stared angrily at the Cullen's in front of me. Even Edward was bent over with laughter. "Edward, you were meant to be on my side!" So much for my guardian angel!

"Bella, love, I'm sorry. They forced me. Will you forgive me?" His eyes smouldered making me lose the power of speech all over again. God, he looked so sexy like that and he knew it. I saw a smile play on the corners of his mouth. Damn you Edward Cullen and your ability to render me speechless!

"I…errm…I" Come on say something, anything. Well not anything, you don't want to make them laugh anymore. A little sentence. Just for me. Please. "You need to make it up to me. In anyway _I _choose." I raised my eyebrow suggestively. The smile dropped off his face.

"Bella, you know I can't do _that_. It's too dangerous." He almost sounded like he was pleading.

"What? I never said anything yet." I had a look of mock surprise on my face. "Edward get you're mind out of the gutter. I didn't mean _that._" I started walking away from the group. I turned my head around. "It's time to go don't you think. Anyway Carlisle wants a word with all of you at home." I carried on walking hopefully towards the exit.

"Hang on a second Bella." Edward hadn't moved from where he was before. I looked over my shoulder towards him and smiled. "The exit's the other way."

"Oh right. Thanks." I mumbled as I changed course. I nearly had it then. So close, but yet so far away!

I got to the car and had to wait a few minutes for the driver to arrive. I got kind of bored so my mind started to wander. When I saw the Cullen's coming towards me I was thinking what I should cook Charlie for dinner. It was his first night back so it would be like a welcome back meal for him. I was considering making a curry of some sort when Edward opened the door for me to get in. I sat down and closed the door behind me. I was still deep in thought about dinner tonight.

"Do you think I should make a cake or something?" I was thinking out loud. I looked round to Edward who was trying to stop a smile spreading across his face.

"Love, if you want to make a cake then you go for it." Okay there was no need for that tone. The tone that implied I was crazy, Emmett usually used that voice on me. My cheeks reddened slightly as I tried to think of a cover up.

"Well I was just thinking about making dinner for Charlie. Sort of a welcome party thing. I'm not sure though, what do you think?"

"I think it's a great idea. I suggest you get what you need now or else everyone will want to come back again and make it extremely difficult for you to actually buy anything." He had a fair point so we got out of the car and went back inside, hoping we wouldn't be followed.

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**Sorry this chapter is out later than I planned but I never got around to finishing it yesterday. Anyway, it's here :D Ta-Da *Insert Jazz Hands Here* Hope you like it. Any ideas as to what will go wrong with the dinner tonight?? XX**


	39. Chapter 39

_**Disclaimer:**_ I do not own _twilight _or any of the characters :D :D :D_

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_BPOV_

I gathered the things I needed and headed towards the check out. It was only a few things; some chicken for the curry; a new tub of butter and a packet of icing sugar (I decided I would make a cake after all). It was a pretty hassle free trip after all.

When we arrived back at the house, Carlisle was deep in discussion with everyone. Luckily we only caught the tail end of his lecture. "And that's why it's a bad idea to blindfold a human and send her around Wal-Mart. Okay? Everyone understand now?" There were a few grumbles and grunts. Carlisle then stood up from his seat beside Esme and went upstairs to his study. I tried to avoid eye contact after before. I didn't want to think about that again. Esme smiled up at us from one of the cream sofas.

"Hello Bella. Emmett filled me in on your little, er, mishap with Carlisle earlier. I just want to let you know, it's perfectly natural for a teenage girl like yourself to have feelings for some of the older men in her life, which might include teachers or even her boyfriends father. And if you want to talk just say the word and I'll be there in the blink of an eye." There was a twinkle of mischief in her eye. I could feel my cheeks flaming. I thought Esme was my friend. There was spluttering sounds coming from every mouth in the room. I would get them back someday. Maybe.

I stood above everyone, glaring, hoping they would stop the giggling. It didn't work. If anything they were laughing more at my frowny face. "Edward." I said knowing I sounded whiney.

"What is it Bella love?" Even Edward was laughing at me.

"I wanna go home now. I'm bored of being the butt of everyone's jokes."

"Whatever you want. Go get your stuff from upstairs and I'll wait for you in the car." I marched out the room not looking back. I got to Edwards room and reached for my bag under the bed. I shoved my things into it, not really caring about creases. Why does everyone make fun of me? Why not Emmett I mean he defiantly does his share of stupid stuff.

The car ride back home was silent. Edward tried to start a conversation but I ignored him. I was in a strop and I didn't want to talk. He seemed to understand and gave up. I felt a small surge of triumph when he did. Well he shouldn't laugh at me then!

When I got home I saw Charlie wasn't home yet. That meant I had time to get everything ready. Perfect. And I knew exactly who would help me. I let myself in and set my bag down on the sofa. Edward came in with the carrier bags of food. "Where do you want these?"

"Kitchen please." I said as I walked into the room. Opening the fridge door I peered inside. I'm glad I did go shopping because there was barely anything in. Charlie must have taken the entire contents of the fridge with him. I could go tomorrow. But for now I had to get started on making the food. The clock on the wall said it was four o'clock. Where had the day gone? I sighed and turned to the Greek God stood in the corner of the room. He looked sulky but so irresistible at the same time. He was sporting a kind of kicked-puppy look. I bit my lip to stop the smile spreading. I was in charge here.

"What's wrong?" I asked innocently reaching into the bags and taking out my ingredients. He slowly raised his head, I saw that his mouth was in a hard line. Perhaps I'd gone to far.

"Bella, I'm sorry about before. I shouldn't have laughed. I can understand how embarrassed you were and me laughing at you probably didn't help much, in fact it probably made you feel worse." I nodded feebly, not taking my eyes off him. Edward lowered his gaze again and walked towards me. "I suppose what I'm trying to say is that I should have stood up for you. I realise that now. It won't happen again." He came to a halt about a foot in front of me. I kept an unimpressed look on my face for about ten seconds before I closed the gap between us and reached up and wrapped my arms around his neck.

"Well thank God for that! I thought you'd never get there." My voice was light and joking. Then it was as if a light switch had been turned on in Edwards mind.

"You never were mad with me were you?" I grinned back at his straight face.

"Maybe, maybe not. If only you could read my mind." I leaned closer so our lips were only millimetres apart. I could feel his cold breath on my lips and his sweet smell was making me lose focus. He leaned forwards but before our lips could meet I pulled away. "Time to get started on dinner. Will you give me a hand?"

"You're a tease, you know that?" Edward sounded a bit put out.

"You like it really." I stuck my tongue out playfully at him. "Now are you gonna help me or not?"

After about an hour and a trip to Wal-Mart later we had an edible meal ready. We had to go to the shops again because Edward distracted me when I was adding the spices to the curry so it ended up being so hot that anyone who ate it would be able to breathe fire for about a week. I had to start all over again but it was worth it in the end. Charlie came home a few minutes before it was ready so I told him to wait in the lounge and not come in until we told him to. I made the icing for the cake and spread it on top. It looked really good, especially with red icing. I didn't even know we had red food colouring. It's amazing what you find in cupboards.

"Ready Dad." I called through the door. I smiled at Edward who was stood next to the table with me.

"Bells! This looks great. You made this?"

"Well we both did really. You hungry?" I asked. Silly question. Charlie was sat at the table in the blink of an eye.

"Bella, would you mind if I borrowed your mobile for a minute? I left mine at home." Edward asked before he sat down.

"Oh sure." I handed it over without batting my eyelid. He ducked out the room for a minute whilst I dished up. I thought nothing of it.

****

"Thanks Bella that was the best thing you've ever made for me." Charlie beamed at me across the table. A job well done me thinks. I started to collect all the plates when the doorbell rang. I dumped the dishes in the sink before calling, "I'll get it!"

"It's all right, I will. You've done all of this after all." Charlie smiled back at me. I nodded and sat back at the table with Edward. He had this devilish grin on his face, like he knew what was coming. I gave him a suspicious look then I heard Charlie at the door. "Oh no, no you again. I told you to stay away from my daughter." Edwards grin got wider.

"But she texted me. She told me to come here. She wants to talk to me." I recognised that pathetic voice. It was Mike's.

"Sorry I don't believe you. You do know there is a restraining order between you and her? If you get any closer I will have no option but to forcefully remove you from my doorstep. Last chance, are you going to leave quietly?" I stood up and walked towards the commotion. Edward was close behind me, not wanting to miss out on the action. I think I should have stayed where I was because when Mike saw me his eyes lit up and he tried to step closer to me.

"Bella! Tell your dad you want me here. Tell him you asked me to come." He had a pleading look on his face.

"I didn't ask you to come Mike. In fact I don't think I've spoken to you since this morning." Now I was confused. This doesn't make sense.

"Right that's it get out!" Charlie was getting angry now. He was pushing Mike away. "You cannot come in and you cannot see my daughter. She doesn't to see you okay so get lost!"

"But Bella, please you did ask me, you did." Mike was trying to push my dad aside. Big mistake.

"Right that's it." Charlie got the pepper spray out of his pocket and sprayed Mike in the eyes. Mike jumped back, tears streaming down his face. He was making this weird high-pitch screaming sound. He stumbled around, blinded, still screaming. I was fighting back laughter. It did look painful but it was bloody hilarious! Edward wasn't doing much better than me. In fact he was doing worse. His whole body was shaking with silent laughter.

"Ahhhh! Help! I can't see!" Mike was still stumbling around. He fell onto my dad and I think Charlie took it the wrong way.

"You're not getting in, damn you! Give up." Then Charlie kind of tackled Mike to the floor. Mike was trying to wriggle free but wasn't really doing so. I had to step in then. I couldn't let this go on.

"STOP! Dad, I think I did send Mike a text. I was meant to send it to Angela. I'm so sorry." I walked over to the heap of bodies on the floor and tried to pull Mike free. "And Dad can you please take Mike to the station and take this restraining order away. It's going to be rather difficult seen as we have to go to the same school tomorrow morning. Please?" Charlie got up and wedged himself between Mike and me.

"Okay Bella. If you think it's best then I'll go. But if I get any more trouble from you again then I'll have that order back on before you can say 'stalker'."

So I watched as Mike was bundled into the cruiser and driven away. I turned back to Edward who was in the doorway. "You sly dog! Now I know why you wanted my phone before." The penny dropped. Edward didn't deny it either, he just grinned at me. I shook my head and pursed my lips, trying not to laugh.

"Come on. That was good entertainment." Edward mumbled under his breath.

"I heard that!" I retorted, walking back towards the house.

Once we got inside, Edward went to his car and came back with a DVD case.

"I was supposed to give you this before, but Charlie was here." He held out the case for me to take. It had a sky blue background and said, 'The Long Weekend' in bold black letters. There were a few stars dotted around for decoration. "We could watch it now." He suggested. I opened the case and popped the disk in the DVD player. The menu screen was a picture of us. Me and Edward, Jasper and Alice and Emmett and Rosalie. I pointed the remote at the TV as I settled on the couch next to Edward. The first thing that came on was a message from the Cullen's.

"Hi Bella! Surprise! We made this for you as a souvenir of this weekend. Even though you probably won't forget it as long as you live. You'll be able to watch this DVD in three hundred years time and still be laughing." Alice recited to me through the screen.

"Yeah, I mean we're laughing already. That thing you did with Carlisle, let's just say if I could cry with laughter I would be. A good thing we brought the camcorder with us. Yes Bella, we have it on tape." Emmett's booming laugh echoed round the room. "If only I could see your face now." If he could see my face he would see it as red as a tomato once again.

"Anyway, here it is. Hope you like it." Jasper finished off. The scene changed to Wal-Mart. It was Rose's stunt with the melons. And surprisingly I laughed just as much the second time round. We watched everyone take it in turns to wind up some poor helpless strangers. We watched the scene in the girls bathroom, the fake pregnancy test and Mike's reaction, the condoms at the check-out, and ghost busters. We even watched the police bursting through the door. And the 'movie' we made the other night. Everything we had done in the last few days was on film. Including, to my shame, the Carlisle incident. By the time it had all finished my ribs were hurting because of all of the laughing I had been doing.

It was getting quite late now, it must have been at least two hours. I got up and looked out the window. Where was Charlie? I sighed and shut the curtains before going into the kitchen to do the washing up from dinner. It didn't take me long so I went upstairs with Edward when I was done. We talked and laughed at totally random things. I gave up waiting for Charlie and went to bed. Edward left to take the Volvo back before Charlie got home. I must have fallen to sleep whilst he was gone because I don't remember his return.

****

I woke up early the next morning, with Edward led next to me. I had enough time to go downstairs and see Charlie before he left for work. Just to make sure he had taken the restraining order off.

I walked downstairs and sat the table. Charlie was hiding behind his newspaper again. "Morning Dad." I smiled and poured myself a glass of orange juice.

"Morning Bella. Good sleep?"

"Yes thanks. You?" I replied putting the glass back down on the table.

"So did you have fun this weekend? Do anything interesting?" Charlie put the paper down and stared at me kindly.

"Yeah we had great fun. We went for a walk in the woods and we went shopping and we went to the cinemas." I sipped my juice.

"Oh so you didn't go to Wal-Mart and dress Emmett up as Emperor Smellius Farticus and you didn't mistake Carlisle for Edward?" He raised a suspicious eyebrow at me.

"Why does everyone keep bringing that up?" I asked almost shouting. Whoops! Busted.

"I saw the DVD Bella. You have a lot of explaining to do, young lady." Charlie folded his arms and leaned across the table, staring at me intently.

Crap, crap, crap! How do I get out of this one?

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**The last chapter :'( The long weekend is officially over. Firstly I need to thank _AnEmotionalVampire _who gave me the idea for Mike to break his restraining order. Thanx :) Second of all I want to thank every single person who has read this story, or even part of it. It's just so awesome that people all over the world are reading my story! Wooo! So for that I want to thank every single person who is reading this now from the bottom of my heart. Don't worry, I will still be writing. I have a few ideas for stories. If you want to check them out then go to my profile page. It would help me alot if you told me what you thought of them. Will put another story up soon. Please review this last chapter and tell me what you think about the story. Thank you to the whopping _215 _reviews I got and not a single bad one! I love you all, you rock! :D Bye Bye XXX **


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